Look What We've Become
by TokiioDoll
Summary: Three years ago Marinette left Paris after Adrien had claimed he was no longer in love with her. Ladybug and Chat Noir haven't been seen or heard from since, nor have they spoken. Now that she's returned, successful and hoping to avoid a certain green eyed feline, Adrien is determined to win her back. Will he be able to earn her trust again?AU:Set years later in the Future.[Hiatus]
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated: M for Mature. I advise anyone underage to leave now.**

 **Love Me Like You Do**

 ** _(Madilyn Bailey Cover)_**

 ** _You're the light, you're the night_**

 ** _You're the color of my blood_**

 ** _You're the cure, you're the pain_**

 ** _You're the only thing I wanna touch_**

 ** _Never knew that it could mean so much, so much_**

 ** _You're the fear, I don't care_**

 ** _'Cause I've never been so high_**

 ** _Follow me to the dark_**

 ** _Let me take you past our satellites_**

 ** _You can see the world you brought to life, to life_**

 ** _So love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do_**

 ** _Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do_**

 ** _Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do_**

 ** _What are you waiting for?_**

* * *

 **Look What We've Become**

 **Prologue**

Dark blue. Not red, not green or black. Just a dark blue. That was the color of his room. The scent of lavender that lingered in the area tickled my nose with each breath I inhaled. The bed springs squeaked with the slightest movement, yet the mattress itself felt so _soft_ and _comforting_. But that was to be expected. His bed, his room, his house, his _life_ \- they were _different_ from mine.

"I love you." He whispered into my ear as his body hovered over me.

That wasn't the first time he'd had me over. Alone, in his room, with just the two of us kissing and holding each other. But today was different. Today I was aware that we'd venture further than we'd ever gone before. I was, however, still _unsure_ about the whole idea. I wasn't sure if I was ready for it. Ready to take that final step with him. But I _was_ sure about one thing, and that was _him_. My _love_ for him. It was true, it was genuine and it was _real_. The realest thing I had ever experienced with anyone, and that _meant_ something, seeing that I had given so many of my firsts to Adrien, and now. . .

This would be the last.

We weren't children anymore. Graduation was just around the corner, weeks were getting closer and so much was changing. So many people were leaving and our future seemed so unclear. But I wanted to be remembered. I wanted to always have a part of him with me, and I wanted to leave something of myself with him. . .

Before it was too late.

It was a very slow process. My heart was pounding in my chest as his fingers brushed over my cheek and trailed down my neck. He pulled me forward and greeted me with soft, sweet, lips as my hands reached for the nape of his neck with a sudden _awakening_ need. I was shaking, that was obvious, and I knew he could feel it too, but part of me kept trying to convince my fear that it was time. That this was right. And that I was ready. . .

I was ready to be tainted.

But the kiss broke too quickly, at least it did for _me_. But he was eager for more, eager to venture further than ever before, and seeing _that_ made me smile. In all my years, in all of my wildest dreams, I never would have expected things to have escalated so far, so quickly. We were really there, existing and loving each other, not just as friends, partners, heroes, or classmates, but as a _couple_. And I was happy. I felt _lucky_ because. . .

Our love was mutual.

I just didn't expect the _pacing_ to change. Nor did I expect to feel his hard erection pressed against my inner thigh only seconds _after_ kissing. It felt like a rollercoaster of emotions swarming around in my head, and I could tell by the way he bit and pulled at his bottom lip, that backing out was no longer an option. But even so, my fear was starting to work its way back up again, as embarrassment and humiliation entangled in the process. Yet, part of me didn't want to stop. I didn't want to turn away and leave things like that, especially when it involved doing so out of fear, because fear was something I _enjoyed_ conquering. It was overcoming these types of challenges that led our love. Our bravery and our courage was a strength that kept us balanced...

And that's how it all _really_ started.

I just needed to stay focused. Deep breaths. That's all I needed to get through the process. Slow, steady, deep breaths. Then, all thoughts, worries and anxiousness, would _eventually_ melt. But when he started working on the buttons of my jeans, everything _clicked_. My brain came to terms with the situation, and _that's_ when I noticed that _his_ clothing had been removed a long time ago. His top and bottoms were tossed to the floor as if thrown off into the sea. And that's exactly what his room felt like. . .

The sea.

As if we were floating somewhere deep underwater. There, where no one could find us, we belonged only to that moment. That _one_ precious moment. We felt safe with each other, comfortable, yet nervous all at the same time. It wasn't easy, but it was never easy with him. After all we'd gone through, all we'd seen, I knew that _this_ was just the beginning of something _much_ greater.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" The blonde's hushed question lingered in the air for a bit. I wasn't sure about anything but _him_ at that point. I knew we weren't kids anymore, but I didn't feel like an adult either, and this was something only adults could ever understand. But I refused to cower away, despite my nerves, I wanted to move past the final stage while I still had the chance. While he was still mine. . .

"I'm sure." I answered, nodding once to show my determination by masking any and all doubt I had left.

He responded with a smile. Clearly excited to do something I had been trying to put off for so long. But he had been patient, he had been _perfect_ , and this was the only way I could thank him for that. For the love, the memories, and all of those blissful moments. I was truly grateful for it all.

But then, faster than my brain could process, we eventually stripped down to just our underwear. It was humiliating _not_ knowing what he was thinking when he stared at my exposed figure, and I wanted so desperately to hide away at that point. Someplace where not even _he_ could find me. But I forced myself to finish what we started, if not _now_ then it would be _never_ \- and that was the last thing I wanted.

So, I shut my eyes and let his hands run down my body. But he seemed to have no problem unclasping my bra and tossing it away to drift off with the rest of our belongings. As if he'd been practicing on his own all this time. Then, I heard him laugh. And although his laughter was something I normally found soothing, it frustrated me greatly. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, whether he was mocking me or not, and that _killed_ me. It scared me in so many ways that I couldn't help but hide my face behind the safety walls of my hands. At least that way I could pretend to be elsewhere. It didn't matter _where_ , or _when_ , so long as it let me escape the situation for a while.

"Beautiful. . ." I heard him say as he pulled my hands away to re-capture my eyes, "Don't hide away from me, my lady."

"S-Stop calling me that." I frowned lightly at the phrase. I hated the very thought of that stupid pet name he'd given me years ago. But, still, he laughed again. He was always calm in situations like that, because he knew how to handle them. He loved taking the lead - even when he messed up. And it was that kind of determination and drive that I admired dearly about him.

But that drive didn't form because of me. It existed for various reasons. Reasons that formed into habits over time. His upbringing branded the idea into his head that failure was impossible, because of his father. Perfection was the goal when it came to grades, behavior and his career. He was encouraged to rise above everyone and nothing else. It was a way of strategy that only his father used to maintain control over him. And though, the similarities between them did exist, in the sense that they both drove to succeed and conquer whatever they craved and desired, the differences were still there too.

Adrien was his own person. He was kind, he was gentle, he didn't take things by force, he was patient and somewhat naïve as well. And in many ways he was still like a child himself. That was something I loved most about him. That's what made me feel so relaxed _around_ him, because with him I didn't need to worry about striving to be the best. He was encouraging, loving, and that's why. . .

I had fallen for him.

"Don't back out on me now, LB." He teased as his lips travelled from my jawline to my neck.

"As if. . ." I breathed, but my mind failed to focus on anything other than tender lips and soft hands.

And even though I had managed to catch several glimpses of Adrien's body in the past, he seemed like a _completely_ different person. His skin wasn't too tanned, _or_ too muscular, but he was _glowing_. His broad shoulders seemed _larger_ and his abs appeared in _greater_ detail. It was like witnessing an entirely different version of him, and it was hard _not_ to stare.

After all, it was the first time I had ever seen anyone naked before. Even _I_ didn't dare to stare too long at my own body after showers. This, all of it, was an entirely new, and _surprisingly,_ emotional experience for me. And not just emotional, but terrifying. Nothing in my past, no criminal I had _ever_ battled, prepared me for a moment like this. But it was happening, and it was bound to happen at some point. It was just hard to accept. It was hard to believe that it was real, or that any of it _could_ be real. And when I felt the sudden sensation of cool, soft, lips pressed against my nipple, _everything_ else zoomed past us. It was _really_ happening...

It was _all_ real.

And somewhere in my mind it registered; distantly. As if part of me was there, while the other half was simply watching from afar. It was an odd and indescribable feeling. But it was nice. It was nice being that close to him. And despite the somewhat out of body experience, I didn't really mind it. Because I was still there, with him, and that's all that mattered.

But, like a bucket of cold water, I felt a sudden wave wash through me. I could feel everything in that moment, softly, yet distinctly. I could feel the gentle hum of his throat as he nibbled and sucked on my breast. The flicking of his tongue, wet and warm, as fear rolled out of my thoughts. Hushed, low, moans escaped my lips without me even realizing it, as my fingers curled and tugged at his roots.

But it was merely a distraction. A good one, I'll admit, but it was only to keep me from noticing his hands as they travelled to the rim of my underwear. And before I could _say_ or _do_ anything, he managed to quickly slide them off of me.

"W-Wait. . ." I whined quietly, but my fear and humiliation didn't do me any good.

He didn't say anything either. He simply grinned at my helpless expression before relocking our lips. It was hard and rough, a kiss of love and lust that overcame us both. And it was in that moment that _everything_ changed. The memories of our past raced before my eyes and brought me to the conclusion that everything before this, before us, was nothing; because right now was everything. He would be my first, I would be his. . .

And his _last_.

The future didn't mattered. The past was just that - the past. All that was important, all that we cared about, was _now_ , that _one_ moment, the **_present_**. And that's all I _wanted_ to do; live in the present.

"You're perfect." He assured me in a whisper that relieved my troubled thoughts.

I smiled. That's all I could really do honestly. Smile and kiss him back as he removed the last piece of clothing he still had on. It was nerve-wrecking. Just waiting for something you knew was coming, but weren't fully prepared for. It was thrilling and frightening mixed in together, and as our lips parted, my body shook by the abrupt intake of air.

His hands rubbed my inner thigh as a means to ease the tension between us. He smothered them with gentle fingers and soft kisses, before wrapping them around his torso. I arched my back and rested my head heavily on his pillow, as he continued planting kisses on my body.

"Just relax." He commanded with a gentle tone, but it wasn't enough to erase the fear weighing over my heart.

"Easy for you to say. . ." He chuckled quietly at my remark before reaching out to take my hand. He placed it carefully over his chest where a heavy beat pulsed through my fingertips.

"It's okay to be scared, you know." He whispered, holding my hand as it listened to the quick and unsteady rhythm of his heart, "You're not the only one freaking out here."

Wide eyes stared in shock. I was surprised to hear that the boy who acted so suave, cool, and collected was really no different from me. He was scared, he was _freaking_ out, because of me - because of us. He was just better at masking it. And after hearing that, part of my fear vanished instantly, though not entirely. But it was easier to breathe knowing that I wasn't alone in this, neither of us were. We were a team after all, partners, which made it possible to overcome any obstacle together. . .

Because we loved each other.

But it was uncomfortable at first. The sensation of it, of his finger pressing against my entrance. My body tensed up instantly. It was a reaction _beyond_ my control over an intrusion that wasn't welcomed. And although it wasn't awful, it wasn't exactly the greatest feeling either. Still, he stopped out of concern immediately, and waited patiently for me to give the _'okay'_ to continue.

And although it was _uncomfortable_ , and _terrifying_ , the last thing I wanted was to make him worry, because I knew that seeing _me_ in pain was just as hard for him as well. That's why I had to be brave. I tried _not_ to resist or fight against him because I really didn't want to. This, him, us, that was all I wanted. That was all I _needed_ and I wasn't going to throw that away without seeing it through...

But then he started to move again by pressing and pushing even further. That part wasn't bad. It wasn't exactly good either, but it was bearable... until he stopped to slide a second digit inside. That's when it started to hurt. The burning sensation of skin stretching sent shivers up my spine, and it forced me to grip onto the sheets tightly.

"It's gonna be okay. . ." He leaned over to say before his lips trailed down my stomach, but the sound of his voice, and the look in his eyes, sent shivers down my back all over again. There was no avoiding the inevitable outcome. All I could do was lay there, swallow my fear, and rid my thoughts of it completely.

That's why I didn't say anything, or more like, I didn't _want_ to say anything. I couldn't because all I kept focusing on was the intruder inside me, and I _hated_ that. Not because it was painful, or distracting, but because it was only _just_ the beginning and it was _already_ starting to feel like too much. But even so, I shut my eyes and bit my lip to silence my complaints. I didn't want to ruin the moment with my whining, especially when _he_ was already starting to unveil _his_ nervousness.

"You have to try and relax or it'll never work." He said seriously, as he kept both fingers still for me to adjust.

"I'm trying!" I shot back miserably and forced my muscles to slowly and obediently loosen as he watched me with a deep concern.

The pain continued, however. The intensity grew the more he moved them in and around, and I couldn't help but wince before silencing my cries. And although my mind felt hazy, and somewhat mushed, the pain slowly lessened as it mixed in with an unexpected pleasure that came the faster he moved.

Those waves of satisfaction washed over the stabbing, ripping, sensation for a short minute. But, as his patience decreased, he stopped with an overflowing lust that gathered in his eyes. That's when my gaze was met with hooded green ones that stared down at me...

He was ready.

He pulled me closer and spread my legs further apart before he leaned down and met my lips in a greedy kiss. And although it was passionate and sweet, I set my focus, _not_ on the kiss, but on relaxing every muscle in my body. But, eventually, I felt him move in to steady the head of his member against my entrance, and the kiss was simply set as another distraction for what was to come next...

But it happened so quickly. We were just kissing on his bed moments ago, and now we were here. Ready to move forward as couple, in his room, together. And even though it was never planned, I was somewhat relieved it all happened _unexpectedly_ , because I don't think I would have had the courage to come over if he'd brought up earlier. I was already scared enough, shaking and trembling under him, and he probably knew I would be if he ever brought it up in a conversation. That's why, even though it might not have been in _my_ plan, I was pretty sure _these_ had been his intentions from the moment I stepped through that door.

But it was so fast. The tearing pain returned in seconds, and his efforts to _try_ to be gentle with me, didn't change much at all. It was worse than before, _much_ worse, and it felt like my entire being was being torn into two no matter how slow he tried to go...

But, once he was all the way in, he stopped to let me adjust to the throbbing sensation as I choked back tears. The intensity of becoming one with him was harsher than I expected, and it was even harder to deal with on my end compared to his. But even so, I dealt with the pain. I closed my eyes, evened my breathing, and let everything else slowly sink in. _This_ was necessary, the _pain_ was necessary, because it all added up to him. All in becoming his, becoming one in a way that no one else could ever understand or relate to... Just us.

However, it seemed to take forever for the pain to subside, despite his efforts at building a rhythm. And as the pacing changed, and the intensity increased, I bit my lip and dug my nails into his back to fight the tears. But when I shut my eyes to break from reality, tears still managed to spill out and slide past my cheek. Everything started to feel heavy, my thoughts, my tears, and even the air itself. And then, as things began to quicken, a sudden fast thrust caused a strange tremor of pleasure and pain to rush through me. It was so unexpected and strange that a tiny yelp accidentally escaped my lips instantly.

And that's when he stopped.

"Did that one hurt?" He panicked and stared down at me after I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"N-No, keep going." I whispered, feeling humiliated, as he let out a soft chuckle before moving forward.

It went on like that for a while. The pain slowly eased into pleasure the faster he moved. His hands held me tightly, as quiet moans escaped our lips and filled the empty spaces of his room. And even though it was still painful, the distraction of lips abusing my own helped improve the process. It happened so naturally, that eventually we grew in sync with each other, moving at the same pace, taking in the same breaths as our hearts fell into tune.

That's when it started feeling good.

For two years he had wanted this. Two years we had strived to reach that final step, and we had _finally_ made it - together. And as the pleasure increased between us, I felt the satisfying end slowly creeping up on us as I arched my back and screamed.

"A-Adrien!" I cried out, gripping his hair the faster he started to move, "Ngh!" A strange sensation overcame me completely in that moment, empowering my entire being, and with one final thrust and a loud cry, I held him tightly as our moment came to an end...

His body fell limp on top of mine, sweaty and heavy, as we laid like that for a second. Everything was quiet and peaceful as I laid there resting and listening to the blissful beating of our hearts as one. And then, soon after, he pushed himself off to lay beside me, smirking with closed eyes before he placed a chaste kiss on my forehead.

"You okay?" He asked with worry still in his tone, despite gazing at me tiredly with lids ready to close.

"Are you?" I asked. He laughed and swung his arm around my waist to pull me into a loving embrace.

"I love you."

Those words that had been exchanged frequently over the year now meant more to me in that moment. We had done it. We had _really_ done it. We made it so far _together_. And I was sure, that at that point, we could survive anything that came our way in the future. That's what I believed, or at least, that's what I _wanted_ to believe. . .

"I love you too. . ." I whispered back before hiding away in his chest to conceal the tears that had resurfaced. I hated _it_. I hated being aware of what awaited for us next. The future, still unknown to us, would surely risk tearing us apart. It was impossible to avoid it. Even though I would've turned eighteen in just a few short months, I was still a kid. And as a kid, I was powerless against the future...

 _Including_ ours.

"Hey," He shook me in his arms and placed our foreheads together, "What's wrong? Does it still hurt?"

I laughed at his ability to read me so well. His never ending concern for me was normally a nuisance, and unnecessary, but it was still something I knew I'd miss later on. _That_ I was sure of. . .

"No, it's something else..." I shook my head as he sat up to listen to the news I'd been avoiding to share for weeks.

"Like what?" He asked.

"My parent's are selling the shop. They're hoping to relocate. . ." And there it was, the worst had yet to be spoken, but the look in his eyes told me he knew exactly where this was going, "Adrien, we're leaving Paris."

Emerald green eyes widened. His hand reached out for mine and clutched it tightly as he tried to laugh. He knew what this meant. Even though it wasn't by choice, it would equal the end. That's why he laughed, because he couldn't yet come to terms with the truth. It was too cruel. He wanted it to be some twisted joke just as much as I did. But it wasn't. I was going to leave soon...

And there was no stopping that.

"You're kidding, right?" He shook his head with a smile still painted on his face, "You can't leave. Not after this, not after everything we -"

"I don't have a choice." I wiped away tears before they could fall again, "They're my parents. It's not like I can just leave them and -"

"Yes you can." He cut me off with eyes glowing with enthusiasm and optimism as he gripped my hand, "You can stay here."

"What?"

"Marinette, you turn eighteen in a few months. You're practically an adult and I'm sure if you talked to them -"

"They'd never let me do it." I shook my head, turned away and ignored the boy who tried to convince me otherwise.

"Then let me talk to them." He offered, "I can convince them. I'll get them to understand -"

"It'll never work."

"Please," He begged with pleading eyes as his fingers interlocked with mine, "Just trust me on this. Unless you're against the idea yourself. . ."

It wasn't that I was opposed to it, but we were still kids. Even though I _wanted_ to stay there, with him, for as long as I could, everything in me kept saying it was wrong. At our age, living that way, didn't feel like the wisest decision. If we kept moving at a faster pace I was afraid it would ruin everything between us - and that wasn't what I wanted for us...

"I don't know. Won't your dad be -"

"He'll be fine. As long as I keep my modeling career in check, and you become the great designer I know you are, then nothing'll stop us!"

"You really think it's that simple?" I raised my brow. I was taken aback by his somewhat childish view on the whole situation, but his hope was kind of contagious, and it made me want to believe that maybe, just maybe, we still had a chance at a life in Paris _together_.

"Paris needs you. Not just as Ladybug, but as a designer, and _this_ is where fashion is highlighted. You and I both know that."

He was quite persuasive. Although I still felt like the whole idea was wrong, I couldn't refuse him there. I didn't want to leave just yet. I didn't want to leave our time there, or our memories, behind. That was where my heart lived, where it would always remain, and as long as Adrien was there with me, there was no way I could refuse...

"Okay, we can _try_ talking to them." I agreed as he excitedly threw his arms around me.

"Thank you." He smiled as I held him in the comforting mattress we rested on.

It was a perfect moment, a perfect time back then. My naïve mind was convinced we could overcome anything together, honestly. He wasn't just my boyfriend, my first love, or partner - but he was one of my best friends. That's why I wanted to believe that what we had would last. Maybe, if I had left with my parents like they'd asked me to, things could've turned out differently. If I had done that, we could've saved ourselves from an enormous amount of pain. But we were kids. As insufficient of an excuse as it might be, it was still true. We were reckless, we made mistakes, and all because of that one reason. . .

 **Because we were just kids.**

* * *

 **(01.07.16 - 02.26.17)**


	2. Chapter 1: This is Goodbye

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature.**

 **This story was inspired by this amazing song:**

 **Bad Blood**

 _ **(Taylor Swift)**_

 _ **'Cause baby now we got bad blood**_  
 _ **You know it used to be mad love**_  
 _ **So take a look at what you've done**_  
 _ **'Cause baby now we got bad blood**_

 _ **now we got problems**_  
 _ **And I don't think we can solve them**_  
 _ **You made a really deep cut**_  
 _ **And baby now we got bad blood**_

* * *

 **Chapter 1: This is Goodbye**

 **( Marinette )**

 **~ Five Years Later ~**

The rain was coming down on us. All of Paris being swallowed in by the skies tears. The traffic, the bus, it all took ages just to drop me off home. _Home_. Though that's what I called it, what we formerly acknowledge it as, it no longer felt like one. Because the stranger that would _possibly_ be waiting for me there didn't feel like family. He didn't feel like a friend or even a fiancé at that - just a stranger.

That's what it had come down to over the years. What we had morphed into over time, and I hated that. I hated it because I craved to go back to the days that were simpler as kids. When we were teens and fighting crime gave life a thrill, because at least there we were _needed_. Now, with less and less dangers occurring, not even Ladybug and Cat Noir could hold us together. Our days, routines, jobs, had us spending less and less time with each other, and it felt as if we were no longer part of a life together. Just two strangers, sharing a home, occasionally bumping into one another. . . and I hated that. I hated it so much because despite the struggles - I loved him. . .

That's why it was hard, because I could never figure out where or when it was we started falling apart. How the gap between us had grown so wide that it separated both our lives completely. Yes he was successful, yes my career was taking off, yes our individual goals were finally being set permanent, but the ones made together - those were the ones we had lost. We didn't need a ton of money, we had a decent living, we lived a great lifestyle, it just wasn't in the way we had planned. And that scared me, because the clock was only ticking even louder, slowly reaching it's limit to when this whole thing would come crashing down one day. And that terrified me, because our days felt numbered. As if sometime, somewhere, soon. . .

It'd be the end of us.

"Hello?" I answered the cell that had been buzzing in my pocket for hours. A few missed calls were read on the screen, mainly from my parents, work, Alya - but none from _him_.

"Oh, you finally decided to answer this time?" Alya's voice came from the other line, clearly trying to guilt me for all my days of work and never being able to speak to her as often as I should have.

"Sorry, I just got off the clock." I explained, stepping out of my seat to leave after the bus had come to a complete stop, "How's life in New York?"

"Girl, you have no idea how crazy it is here. It's nothing like back home, everyone's always _so_ busy, no one ever seems to sleep and work is _unbelievable_!" She squealed in excitement. Those years of building her blog and earning a name for herself as a journalist were over, because now she was in the big leagues. Her dreams were hitting perfectly, everything was falling into alignment just right, and she was doing everything she had always wanted to do. Though slightly envious, I was happy for her. I was happy that at least one of us had managed to get that perfect ending just right. . .

"Sound's like a blast." I commented, zipping up my hood to walk through the down pour as quickly as I could.

"You should try visiting some time, you can even bring Adrien over too. Nino's always trying to get a hold of him when he comes home and it'd be nice having the whole gang together again." She suggested.

"You mean, they haven't been in touch lately?" I asked, stopping under a small tree to keep dry for a moment.

"Not really. Adrien's always so busy with work that he never seems to answer him much. It's kind of annoying at times, especially when he gets so distracted with it that he forgets to even pay attention to me at all."

"Sorry." I laughed, imagining the girls pouting face in my head, "I'll talk to him and see what I can do."

" _Please_ , and try visiting soon. I know the city needs Ladybug and all, but I miss having you around just as much."

Her idea struck me hard in the core. The thought of the city or Adrien still needing me around didn't seem to fit right anymore. It wasn't like before, evil wasn't a big issue at this point, and if I were to disappear I wasn't sure if either of the two would miss me at all.

 _Would he even notice if I were gone?_

We rarely saw one another, when we did we weren't great at conversing as much as before. Things just weren't the same anymore. He, me, us. . .

Everything had changed.

"I'll see what I can do. Talk to you later, kay?" I told the girl on the other line, ready to end the call before a sudden beeping in my phone came through. An email had arrived. One from someone I didn't recognize, though seemed fairly important. So, I hung up on the call to click and open the message waiting to be read.

My heart stopped when my eyes caught the name of the sender written at the top. An application I had sent earlier this year finally being answered. It was a silly idea I thought I'd try to take part in, though never expecting to gain much from it because I had hoped things would get better here. But there it was, almost like a sign, my acceptance into a three month study abroad program to New York. I would intern for one of the cities best designers, and if done well, gain a permanent position there as a full timer.

It was my start. The key to my success, a real beginning to my career into the fashion industry. There was just one problem. My home was here. Adrien, the house, our lives, my job - all of it was here. If I were to throw that away and go off on my own like that, there was no guarantee that I'd make it far enough to succeed alone. I wasn't even sure if Adrien was up to the idea of joining, not when his line of work was still in _this_ city. He was already a success on his own, posters, magazines, he was everywhere and Paris adored him. And judging by where we stood at this point in our lives, I wasn't sure if he'd sacrifice anything anymore to help me with this. . .

If he said no, if he refused to come, then I'd probably have no choice but to stay. If I lost my job now and came back from New York with nothing, then I'd be not only a stranger, but a free loader living off of him and his work. Though I felt it was wrong to think that way in general of someone whom I had loved so dearly before in the past, I couldn't help it, because that was where we stood now.

I raced home with the hopes of convincing him of this. It wasn't just his fault that we had drifted so far apart. My lack of effort was what also drove the wedge between us, what slowly cut him out of my life due to hours of work and schooling. It was hard, but it was never easy with him, that was something I always tried to remember. At least, then, if he or I ever messed up we could fix it faster, because we knew it'd never be easy. That was just how we worked, and we didn't like _easy_ , but it was getting a lot harder lately. Still, never had I imagined it would also feel somewhat. . .

Impossible.

But that's exactly how I felt when I got home. When I arrived at the front door and took out my keys. My mind naïvely thinking that what we had could still be fixed before I even stepped inside. That all of it could be rearranged and managed if we put in more effort. But only because I had _never_ expected to find what was waiting for me on the other side. . .

There, on the couch, were dozens of men and women laughing and kissing like animals. Some were dancing, some were drinking, but Adrien managed to do a little bit of both with a blonde cozying up to him. He wasn't dressed in much, none of them were, simply in shorts and a long silky robe were all he had on. As for the girl in his arms, dressed in well-made lingerie and a white robe to match his own, she seemed to be enjoying his company as much as he was, neither noticing my presence at all. . .

I blinked a few times, refusing to acknowledge this was my reality. Though not kissing, the two held each other fairly close in a way that unveiled lustful desires. This was it. The final breaking point. The clock had stopped ticking and I knew that by the end of this night. . .

All would be lost.

"Get out. . ." I demanded quietly after slamming the radio off. The room was quiet, music no longer pounding against walls and ears, yet no one moved. My anger only rising, my patience cutting short, and at this point I was done with their games. I was done forcing myself to believe in something that was no longer there, because this wasn't us anymore. He wasn't the same, I had even changed myself, and we had grown apart. We. . .

We were no longer children.

 _"Everybody get out of my house!"_ My screams echoed, making all who heard jump and run for the direction of the door. The men, the women, the blonde who had gotten so close to the boy standing alone in the living room, were gone in seconds.

He held a bottle of champagne while swinging around the rope of his robe as he grinned devilishly after seeing me, "Back so soon and already a buzzkill." He insulted, words stinging my chest as he sipped from the bottle and headed for the couch.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, my body trembling too much to even move any closer without feeling as if it'd collapse to the floor.

"Doing what? Having _fun_?" He fell over the couch to lay on, eyes staring at the fire burning in the chimney, "I just thought I'd kill some time with a few friends from work."

"Then go bowling, go to the movies, mini golfing, but don't go bringing _girls_ in here to flirt with behind my back!" I screamed, fighting back tears I knew were pointless to shed when he would no longer feel obligated to wipe them. He didn't care anymore. He didn't and I could tell just by how bored he looked.

"You make it sound like a bigger deal than it actually is." He said dully, taking in sips of alcohol every now and then with his eyes glued to the flames rather than me.

"Don't ever bring them here again." I ordered, removing my bag to place by the door before heading for the stairs.

"It's my house, I'll invite whoever I want." I heard him mutter from the couch, my body slowly turning to meet the boy who had decided to finally get back up and face me.

"I thought this was _our_ home." I shuddered, preparing for whatever was to come when he started to laugh. It was menacing, terrifying, like nothing I'd ever heard from him before - because this wasn't Adrien. This wasn't the boy I had trusted and fallen for years ago, this was the man that had taken over as years went on. The boy I once knew. . .

No longer existed.

The shattering of glass shook me terribly as we watched it hit the wall. As if everything that had happened, all that we were, was now gone and destroyed with the breaking of the champagne bottle he had thrown across the room. The fragments, the pieces, they had been there all along. But our lives had prevented us from picking them up again, and now he seemed to have lost all energy in trying to save what was already damaged. . .

He was giving up.

"I can't do this anymore." He swallowed hard, a lone tear escaping as he shook his head away from me, "I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of feeling _stuck_ like this when it feels like I'm engaged to a stranger!" His screams tore at my heart strings, jabbing me deep in the chest with every breath he took and tear he shed.

"You don't mean that -"

"Yes I do! Marinette I. . ." He paused, clenching both fists hard before he forced himself to lock eyes with me, "I'm just not in love with you anymore."

And there it was. The truth we had realized long before this, but tried to deny in hopes that things would improve over time. However, it was clear now that nothing was going to change. If anything, it'd probably get worse by sticking together like this. It was my mistake in staying with him for this long, my decision in remaining in Paris and spending so much time together, when time away was what we truly needed. Now, it was more than just that. A goodbye was our only option. The only thing that would save us from hating each other even more. . .

"Then maybe it's time we call it quits." I tried to keep my voice steady, not wanting it to crack or let tears fall after sliding off the engagement ring he had given me years ago.

"That sounds like a _great_ idea." He spat, eyes shooting back at me with a heavy glare.

"Is that what you really want?" I felt the need to ask, though already knowing his answer, my mind tried desperately to cling onto what little hope was left within me.

"It's what we need. . ." He lowered his head and turned his back to me.

"Fine. . ." I sniffled, my legs immediately turning to run with tears finally falling, as I moved for the direction of our bedroom.

Once I'd reached the door I stood there for a long moment. Still praying he'd come chasing after me like so many times before. That this was just one huge mistake or lie - but nothing happened. After some time I thought it best to give up. There was no point in clinging onto the past anymore. That was gone now. He was gone now. And as I stepped into the room to grab my bags, I heard the front door slam shut and noticed a figure heading down the street through the view of my window. . .

It was over.

I fell to my knees, burying my face in old shirts, as the memories of our time together in this house had begun to flood my mind. Everything reminded me of him - everything. And it wouldn't go away. The pain overtaking me as I stared at his photo saved as my screen saver, regret and betrayal hitting me all at once as I took the device and threw it against the wall.

"Marinette? What's wrong?" A tiny voice hovered over my shoulder.

"Tikki. . ." I reached for the tiny creature to place in my hand, wiping tears away to force a smile when greeting her, "It's nothing. I'm just packing up a few things." I lied, returning my attention on filling both bags with as many items as I needed. Though, none that reminded me of him.

Not the gifts or treasured objects he had given me during my stay here. No, those would stay. The basic clothing and such was all I needed to leave with for good. Though, while carrying everything on my way out, my eyes did manage to catch todays date circled on our calendar. . .

"So today's our anniversary, huh?" I laughed at the irony, though feeling betrayed and hurt, I had still forgotten how important today was, because it no longer felt special anymore. Today was just any other day, and that's how it would always be from now on when I left this house tonight.

I held no regrets other than the fact that I had wasted so much of my time in keeping hope alive. It had only proved useless in the end, and it was time to say goodbye. And as I made my way down the steps, with the tiny creature in my pocket, bags held in both hands, I stopped by the counter to pick up a pen and paper. Jabbing down my final words to him, I was ready to cut him out of my life completely this time. Just like he had done much earlier than me, because he had realized the truth quicker than I ever did. I was a fool and I accepted that. But those days were over now, and I was ready to move on. At least. . .

 **I was ready to try.**


	3. Chapter 2: Left Behind

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **Last To Know**

 _ **(Three Days Grace)**_

 _ **She just walked away**_  
 _ **Why didn't she tell me?**_  
 _ **And where do I go tonight?**_  
 _ **This isn't happening to me**_  
 _ **This can't be happening to me**_  
 _ **She didn't say a word**_  
 _ **Just walked away**_

 _ **You were the first to say**_  
 _ **That we were not okay**_  
 _ **You were the first to lie**_  
 _ **When we were not alright**_  
 _ **This was my first love**_  
 _ **She was the first to go**_  
 _ **And when she left me for you**_  
 _ **I was the last to know**_

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Left Behind**

 **( Adrien )**

I buried my body under drops of rain hitting me from the sky. My body laid on the streets of Paris for what felt like hours. I wasn't ready to go home yet, fearing what I'd face when returning to the girl who's heart I had broken earlier on that night. It wasn't even her fault. The alcohol had released and misdirected anger that had piled high over the years. But that was just it, all that anger building up inside, spat lies and cruel words to mask the person I truly despised; _me_.

Drifting apart, widening the gap, that was all done because of my carelessness and jealousy. All those years in waiting for her to come home, only to be left behind because of work or classes. But it wasn't her fault. I couldn't blame her for knowing exactly what she wanted or for being good at her job. It was just something I myself could never relate to. But there I was, watching her rise as she succeeded in her career, leaving me behind in the dust. . .

And I got scared.

I got scared that it'd always be that way. That she'd forget about me at some point and abandon me all together. I thought if I booked more jobs, took better pictures, that maybe I could become someone worthy enough to stand by her. At least then, I'd never be forgotten or hated. Though, that last part seemed fairly accurate at this point.

But she was always busy and I was always home - stuck waiting. It's not like I really needed the money or the extra bookings, but I did need the _distraction_. I was tired of her bailing on me, on us, _all_ the time, because it felt like she was choosing her career over everything else instead. And as her boyfriend, no, as her _fiancé_ , the idea of even thinking something like that felt awful. But I couldn't help it, especially on days like today.

I thought I'd surprise her and put an end to the distance between us, but she didn't even _remember_ what today was, forgetting something so important because of school and work. I didn't _want_ to hate her for it, or blame her at all, but I was just angry. I was _always_ angry because she made it seem like I didn't matter at all. . .

And I hated her for that.

I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but feel empty in seeing her surpass me in so many ways. As if, soon enough, she'd be the one needing to take care of me instead. Although, it was wrong to bury myself with extra work just so she _couldn't_ ditch me, I only did it because I didn't want to upset her. I didn't want her to feel guilty about having no free time for me whenever things got busy. I thought my only option was to make myself _busier_ so that no one could be blamed. . .

And that was my mistake.

Because, eventually, it was as if we no longer had time for each other at all. She'd leave early in the morning, I'd get back home late, there was never anything in between. But still, today was suppose to be special and she ruined that. . . we both did.

I dragged my drenched body through the rain 'till I reached the house. The first place we had ever bought together, in a friendly street with great neighbors, just like she wanted. This was suppose to be our sanctuary, our escape from reality, and back then I jumped at the opportunity to buy it for her. Now, I dreaded the thought of even entering.

Everything seemed a lot simpler before. Now it was different. We were different. Even so, my heart hadn't changed. Yeah, I blamed her for part of this mess, but most of it fell on my shoulders. All because of my selfishness and envy, yet fear was what drove us apart instead. But like a child craving attention from their mother, I just missed having her around because. . .

I loved her.

Still, I was scared to face her after our fight. The fight that was still somewhat hazy in my mind. But I knew I had to return because I was certain I had upset her. The expression she carried, though my words and actions lost in my foggy memory due to the overuse of alcohol, was still fresh in my mind. Whatever I had done, said, or lied about - they were still lies, because I loved her. I loved her more than anything else in this city or even the universe itself, because she was my fire. She was the flame that kept my heart burning and after all she had done for me, saved me, rescued me during my days of loneliness, I had chosen to repay her with a bucket of cold water. . .

Just like an idiot.

"Marinette?" I stepped inside, eyes travelling in search of her. The house was a mess. The glass of champagne still left shattered on the floor, pillows, plates, food, all tossed everywhere after my little get together after work. But I tried not to focus on that right now. What I wanted to see, hear, speak to - was her.

But there was no response. The house was dead silent, though lights were on, everything felt empty. As if I were the only person kept inside. But that idea seemed ridiculous when I was certain that if not here, there was no other place she could run off to. At least, that's what I wanted to believed before my eyes caught the little sheet of white laid over the counter.

Her handwriting was something I could recognize in an instant, and _this_ was her writing. I reached over for the tiny note she had placed for me to find, my heart dropping in even seeing something like this being left behind. But it was for me, it was meant only for my eyes as a final message she chose to leave to me. . .

 _ **You were right. I'm sorry I couldn't be enough for you. I hope you find whatever it is that you're looking for. Goodbye Adrien, and thank you for everything.**_

 _ **-Marinette**_

"No. . ." I shuddered, shaking my head in refusing to believe that this could be the end.

My legs raced for the bedroom upstairs. An empty, cold, room without her in it. The closet door was opened, dressers pulled out, all emptied with what was once hers. Nothing left but my own belongings tucked inside.

My denial refused to believe this could be it, that I had driven her so far to the point that she had chosen to leave me for good this time. The one thing I had feared most, the reason I had worked so hard to distract myself, now finally coming true. . .

She had left me behind.

"Marinette!" I screamed, calling for her, checking in closets and bathrooms, under couches and sinks. Ridiculous settings I knew she'd never be in, but my heart begged that she'd somehow appear in any place no matter how stupid it seemed. That she'd pop out with that same, breathtaking, smile of hers and a 'Gottcha!' line of some kind. . .

But she was gone.

I ran out into the streets to continue my search, begging and calling for her to return home to me. I didn't care how or when, just as long as she'd be back. I'd vow to never let her go again, to marry her the second she was back in my arms, and fix all that had been torn and damaged due to our carelessness - _my_ carelessness.

"Please. . ." I cried, falling to my knees with the little note crumpled in my hand. Her final words burning deep in my mind as I cursed at the thought of it. The thought of wanting anything other than her, the fact that she would even assume that there was more I was seeking, when what I wanted had been here all along. . .

She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve to be hurt the way she did. Not after all she had done for me, not after placing all of her trust in me. She had changed my world in _so_ many ways, and in return I had destroyed hers completely. She must have hated me, I could feel it. Somewhere in the world, she was alone, crying, because of _me_ \- and that broke me. It destroyed me in a way that seemed impossible to ever recover from. . .

"I'm sorry! I'm _so_ sorry!" I shouted to the sky, hoping my words would reach wherever she was hiding. "Please, just come back. . . don't leave me alone like this!"

I begged and cried for hours that night. My tears mixing in with the rain as thunder was all that replied. I don't remember much of what happened afterwards, because my body had collapsed and fallen to rest on the ground at some point. But I remember dreaming of old times. I remember hoping that when I opened those eyes that she'd be there, by my side, smiling down at me like she used to. . .

But that never happened.

She never came back that day, or the next. Months passed and no one would give me even the slightest hint as to where she was. Her parents wouldn't even return my calls. And as the year passed I began to lose hope, fearing she had really disappeared off the face of the earth - because of _me_.

Ladybug never returned. Marinette was gone. And, eventually, I lost all sense and courage in putting the mask back on. There was no point. No point in going on with my life without her in it. My world consisted of nothing but a never-ending chain moving forward with my heart kept stuck in the past. . .

So, I just went on from one day to the next. Constantly wondering where it was we had gone wrong? What I could have done to save us from it all? What more could I have said to keep her here and have her stay? Questions like these plagued my thoughts every second of everyday. And they never went away. They couldn't because. . .

 **She wasn't there to answer them for me.**


	4. Chapter 3: Coming Home

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **Miss Movin' On**

 ** _(Fifth Harmony)_**

 ** _My lips are saying goodbye_**

 ** _My eyes are finally dry_**

 ** _I'm not the way that I used to be_**

 ** _I took the record off repeat_**

 ** _You killed me, but I survived_**

 ** _And now I'm coming alive_**

 ** _I'll never be that girl again, no oh oh_**

 ** _I'll never be that girl again, no oh oh_**

 ** _My innocence is wearing thin_**

 ** _But my heart is growing strong_**

 ** _So call me, call me, call me_**

 ** _Miss movin' on, oh oh oh. . ._**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Coming Home**

 **( Marinette )**

 **~ Three Years Later ~**

There it was. Thick clouds, shimmering water, and the tip of the Eiffel tower - all things you couldn't see from the ground. It was relaxing to view a scene I hadn't thought to ever return to when I first left. All those memories of my past sending waves of nostalgia rushing through my head. This was home. At least, it used to be. Though I was excited to see it again, to walk down the streets of Paris as the person I had always wanted to be, it was _different_ this time.

I grew up here, I lived in this city, everything connected me right back to this very place. Yet, I no longer felt linked to it at all. I had worked so hard to detach myself from everything I used to be that I no longer felt tied to the cities grounds. But that was my fault. I was the one to spark the chaos that damaged the bond I once shared with the people in Paris, because I had forced myself to hang on to shattered fragments of my youth. . .

But that was all in the past now.

"You two settle down now!" Alya commanded the two children fidgeting in their seats across from ours. The two laughing and playing like kids always do, but their distracting behavior upset their mother greatly as she struggled to focus on her work.

"Sorry mom. . ." The two said simultaneously, lowering their heads in shame and fear at the woman scolding them.

"They're just bursting with energy aren't they?" I laughed, watching the twins trying to remain calm in their seats by watching a movie on their tiny tablet screen.

"I can't believe Nino booked an earlier flight _just_ so he wouldn't need to take care of the twins." She groaned, the angry look in her eyes signaling that she'd kill the man the moment she got off this plane.

"C'mon, it's not that bad. They're. . . perfect angels." I forced out a laugh, though true they weren't exactly _perfect_ , they were still fun to be around. They had so much life in them that it was like breathing in fresh air whenever they were with us. And if you ignored their disrupting behavior from time to time, it was almost nice having them there.

"Just wait until _you_ have kids." She muttered, shutting her laptop off before sliding it into her bag, "You barely have enough time to sleep with _your_ job, imagine how dead you'd feel as a mother."

"I don't think I'll have to worry about that anytime soon." I murmured, eyes now stuck on the view of the sky as we reached closer and closer to our destination, "I made my decision, and I don't think children are part of the path I'll be taking." I shrugged, pushing the thought of it out of my mind completely. Though, there had been a time when I once envisioned of something similar to that. Me, a mother, with children to care for every hour of everyday. All with the help of the man I once desired more than anything in this world. . .

But those days were gone now.

That future never became a reality, and perhaps it was never meant to be. We were too different. My efforts in trying to keep him weren't enough to fulfill those wishes, because he never truly belonged to me. He had the hearts of every female in this city. That was my competition, and I naively believed I could stand a chance against them all. I was foolish, hopeful, and that was my mistake. Which was why I couldn't blame him or hate him for any of it, because it was me who had wanted something more from him, something he could never offer. . .

And _that_ was my fault.

"Excuse me? Are you Marinette Dupain Cheng?" A sudden voice pulled me away from all thoughts, and I was brought back by an unfamiliar face staring down at me.

"I am, and you are?" I asked, my eyes only then noticing the pen and paper the young girl carried in her hand.

"I'm April, and I was wondering if I could have your autograph? I'm a big fan of your designs!" She smiled widely, holding out the items in her hand for me to take.

"Uh, sure thing. . ." I nodded, returning the smile as I jotted down my name on the sheet.

"Are you planning on releasing your new line in Paris?" She asked, anxiously awaiting my answer as I handed back the items I had borrowed.

"Well, I _am_ here on business but it's kinda top secret for now." I whispered with a smile, making her laugh in response.

"I understand. Thank you so much." She nodded, and with that went scurrying over to her seat in the far back.

"But fame and success are still something to look forward to on this little path of yours." Alya nudged playfully.

"I can't believe how much has changed." I smiled at the thought of it all, the idea of returning as something more than the person I once was. My eyes glued to the Eiffel tower in astonishment, excitement, and joy.

"You're telling me. We were just a couple of kids before, now look at us." She sighed, the smile on her face suddenly fading as she anxiously clung onto my arm, "You _are_ planning on giving me the inside scoop on your new line, right?" She asked in somewhat of a panic, as if fearing I'd give away all information to some other reporter fishing to get it.

"Sometimes I feel like you switch from being my best friend to Channel 7's anchor woman way too fast." I murmured, pulling my arm away from her sharp claws.

"Fine, we can talk work later. Have you heard from your parents yet?" She asked.

"They told me they couldn't make it this time, but it's probably for the best." I shrugged, listing down all the plans I had set for myself once I was back to roaming the city's streets. "Its already been three years. There's a lot of things I'd like to see on my own."

"Things? Or people?" She eyed me, wiggling her brows to hint at the one person I dreaded in ever running into once we were down there.

"Alya. . ." I exhaled deeply, shaking my head at the girl who couldn't seem to let the situation go at all.

"Marinette, you said it yourself. A lot's changed and so have you. Maybe he has to-"

"I didn't come here to fool around and fall into something I've already moved on from." I explained, my intentions clear as they were laid out for her to better understand, "This is strictly for work. I don't want anything holding me back this time."

"I know, but you never _really_ told me what went down that night. You just showed up at our place out of the blue with all that luggage and. . ." She stopped herself, knowing very well that I didn't want to be reminded of the day I chose to leave. Even hearing about it, remembering for even a second, sent sharp daggers shooting into my chest. Because it wasn't my decision. If I had gotten what I wanted then I'd still be living with him today. But he forced me out, he forced me to choose, and that's exactly what I did. . .

Because he couldn't choose _me_.

"It was always complicated with him. He's a child of wealth after all and I'm just a-"

" _Wealthy_ fashion designer?" She cut in to say, placing a hand on my arm for comfort, "Have you even tried speaking to him since? I mean, he used to call us everyday trying to find you-"

"Then he gave up." I cut her off, swallowing hard to forget the pain that came with the memories of our failed attempt in being with one another. "Look, Adrien was just a part of my past and that's it. I'm not the same girl I was back then, you know that."

"I just think you should meet with him once. Let him know that you're okay at least." She spoke not only in concern for me, but for the boy I had abandoned long ago. Part of me knew she was right, that finding closure would all start with us interacting again. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't see him, speak to him, or listen to what he had to say. If I did, I was almost certain I'd fall right back to where it all began. And that's the last thing I wanted. I didn't want to go back to the days of foolish naïve thinking. Things were different now, I had grown much stronger, and I wasn't going to let all my hard work be dragged down by the tiny sparks of a long forgotten love. . .

"It's better this way. . ."

"Are you an idiot!" A mans shout caught the attention of all who remained seated. Alya and I jumped in hearing him yell from the front row, eyes flaring, finger pointing, all directed at a flight attendant shaking by her cart.

"What's going on up there?" Alya asked in a whisper, eyes shifting from the man to her children in fearing their protection.

"I didn't pay for first class to get lousy service!" The man complained, struggling to stand on his feet with a tiny bottle of booze in his hand. He was drunk. That explained his actions and behavior, though neither excused his recklessness.

"Sounds like a job for Ladybug. . ." Alya poked my arm, clearly trying to make light of the situation by joking around.

"Don't be ridiculous." I waved her off before stepping out of my seat. Ladybug hadn't been seen in years, and she was no longer part of the person I was today. Although, that hadn't been my choice entirely, I was still capable of handling situations like these without any problem. And there was no way I could simply sit back and watch either way, because out of the few things I despised in this world. . .

Drunk men were the worst.

"Excuse me, sir?" I tapped his shoulder, approaching cautiously with a smile to show I meant no harm.

"What do you want!?" He screamed in my face, his breath making me cringe from where I stood. Still, I maintained my cool composure to continue a civilized conversation with the stranger in front of me.

"I'm sorry, but you're scaring the other passengers with this scene." His eyes gazed over all who watched him in disgust. Yet, he made no attempt in changing the situation at all as his eyes came down to meet mine again in aggravation and fury.

"Why don't you butt out of my business!" He yelled, shoving me hard to send me stumbling backwards a few spaces. A couple of gasps were heard from those watching, and though the man was fairly bigger than me I refused to let him win. My own frustration getting the best of me as I stepped forward to finish what he had started.

"I'm going to ask you this once, _sir_. Please, sit down and keep _quiet_." I threatened, but my small warning did not intimidate him at all as he swung his arm back to attack me.

"I said butt out!" His screams sprang out as he sent his fist flying for my face. But this was merely child's play, and catching his punch wasn't all that difficult to do alone. However, his refusal in obeying my commands equaled out to my taking his fist and twisting his arm in order to keep him contained. There were many watching, and I knew I couldn't be too rough with him, but I couldn't hold back entirely. . .

Because the alcohol disgusted me.

"I warned you." That was all I said before slamming my elbow on the back of his neck. The force being enough to put him out and render him unconscious.

"Thank you so much!" Said the flight attendant lady, as the rest of the crowd clapped and cheered in my victory. But I couldn't risk exposing myself in anyway, and like habit, I returned to my frail looking state and played modest in front of them.

"Oh, it was nothing. Just a few basic self defense moves." I shrugged, smiling and laughing nervously before I turned back for the direction of my seat.

It was then that I saw him. A boy with red hair and eyes as blue as my own, standing and watching me carefully. He seemed slightly familiar, though I couldn't put my finger on a name that matched his physique. He was tall, had a fairly good complexion, a fit frame, and very light skin. Yet I couldn't recognize him by face completely. And so, I tried to ignore it and move back to Alya instead. That was, until I heard him call out my name. . .

"Marinette? Is that you?" He asked, approaching me with a smile as if knowing very well where it was we had met before.

"Do I know you?" I asked, maintaining a safe distance between me and the other man.

"It's me, Nathaneal. We went to school together." His name immediately struck old memories back into my head, and it wasn't hard to recognize him right after. Although, it _was_ difficult to believe that the scrawny teen who never really smiled much, was the man standing in front of me now.

"Oh, Nathanael. You look well." I greeted with a smile.

"So do you. I didn't know you were coming back?" He said, eyes lit up in excitement.

"Well, I'm planning on opening a couple of shops here to bring in some new designs." I explained, watching as he gaped at me with an unexpected shocked expression.

"So, you really did it. You're a real designer n-"

"Passangers, please remain seated. We will be arriving in Paris very shortly." The pilot instructed, cutting off the other boy to signal our returning back to where we needed to be.

"Well I should probably get back to my seat." I muttered, moving past him to head for the other girl watching the two of us with an eerie grin on her face.

"Uh, hey listen. . ." He suddenly said, reaching to take my arm in recapturing my attention, "Since you're staying for a while, we should hang out sometime. Maybe get a coffee and catch up on things." My eyes grew wide in hearing him ask nervously to meet again, my head trying to convince me that his former crush on me still hadn't gone away. Though, that had to have been impossible. It had been years, we hadn't seen one another since graduation, and I was certain he had moved on and gotten over me years ago. But still, if there was even the slightest chance. . .

Maybe it wouldn't have been such a bad thing.

"S-Sure." I nodded, my hands rummaging through my pocket to hand him my business card.

"Great!" He spoke rather loudly, smiling at the piece of paper as if it were worth far more than what it appeared, "I'll call you later then?"

"Okay." I waved, and with that rushed back for the seat next to the one who'd never taken her eyes off of us.

"Well, I guess I don't need to mother you about your decisions after all." Alya grinned, her head glancing back at the boy who moved to the far end of the plane to sit, "Does this mean you two are gonna try and-"

"We're just friends. . ." I cut her off before she could say or assume anything more, because that's all it was. Not even a friend, but a former classmate. One who had grown to become fairly attractive in my eyes then he ever did in the past. . .

"Well, Paris _is_ the city of love." She shrugged, slouching in her seat as our plane began to lower and land safely on the ground, "You never know what might happen."

A lot had really changed. Me, her, him and maybe even Adrien as well. Though it had been years since our last fight, and it _had_ been childish of me to try and ignore him all these years, it was still difficult to decide on whether or not to face him now. The idea of him still hating me made me fear in ever getting involved with him in any way. Which was why I was torn between keeping this up or meeting with him one final time, because I needed closure, I needed to move past it completely, because in all honesty I never really had. I had never even thought of being with another man since, because, in the past, I was so certain that Adrien would have been it for me. . .

But, maybe, _just_ maybe, meeting him wouldn't solve what needed to be solved. Maybe closure wouldn't come to me if I reunited with him again. Perhaps, what I really needed was someone to help me forget. Someone new, someone I could trust, and someone who could actually _care_. . .

Someone like _Nathaneal._

 **"The city of love, huh? You might have a point. . ."**


	5. Chapter 4: I'll Find You

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **The Man Who Can't Be Moved**

 _ **( The Script)**_

 ** _Going back to the corner where I first saw you,_**  
 ** _Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move,_**  
 ** _Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,_**  
 ** _Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,_**  
 ** _Some try to hand me money they don't understand,_**  
 ** _I'm not, broke I'm just a broken hearted man,_**  
 ** _I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,_**  
 ** _How can I move on when I'm still in love with you_**

 ** _'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,_**  
 ** _And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,_**  
 ** _Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,_**  
 ** _And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street._**

 ** _So I'm not moving_**  
 ** _I'm not moving_**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: I'll Find You**

 **Adrien**

Nature stirred and sighed at the awakening of a new day. The morning light crept through curtains that kept me in the dark, alone with just my memories. That is, if you didn't count the brunette laying in bed beside me. Though, like all the rest, she was merely a distraction to help me through the night. A replacement for the time being until I could find someone who better resembled the other girl. . .

Because there was no forgetting her.

Blue eyes. That was the only reason I chose her to stay for the night. All for that one reason, because they were an almost exact copy of the girl who had left me with nothing but a note. A note that had gotten lost somewhere in the piles of dirty laundry kept in my closet.

She left me. She abandoned me as if I were nothing. Her reasons never explained, nor could I remember all that had occurred that night in full detail, because I had never truly recovered all of my memories of that evening after _all_ the champagne I had drowned myself in. But I had every reason to hate her. I had every reason to despise her for what she had done. For leaving me without ever bothering to contact me in the last three years. Her parents wouldn't answer my calls, Alya and Nino never gave me much help. . .

And I was on my own again.

Just like in the past. Just like my years as a child. It was Marinette who had saved me from that, she who spent every waking moment with me always smiling, always laughing. And I would give anything to go back to those days. The days of mindless thinking, in simply enjoying each others company. Now, she was gone. And I hated her for it. I hated her for being so quick to ditch me like everyone else. But most importantly, I hated myself for pushing her to that point. Though the memories of that night weren't clear, I knew I had to have said or done something to make her leave. There couldn't have been any other reason she would have disappeared without a word. Unless, she had simply gotten tired of me. Though that didn't make much sense. . .

It still felt possible.

"Come back to bed. . ." The girl whined, her hand waving for me to return to her side again. Still, I said nothing. I simply got dressed, reached for my phone, and left down the hall without ever looking back, because she was nothing. All of them, in the past, or those to come in the future. . .

They were nothing compared to her.

I entered the dining area to find breakfast already prepared as always. There I sat at the table, pushing my tray to the side for a moment, to pull out my phone and skim through unread messages. It was then that I noticed a text sent in by my manager the night before, that and dozens of missed calls from people I had bailed or ditched this week. Not that I cared, the parties, the booze, the girls, it was the same thing every night. And after a while, it had all lost its meaning, because at the end of the day, I'd still be returning to an empty home. One that I normally expected to find her in, waiting or sleeping, but she was _always_ there. . .

I tapped on the message sent in from work, my eyes only catching the first letter when an incoming call popped up on my screen. A number from someone I hadn't spoken to in years. Someone I had once thought of as family. Yet, still managed to drift away from due to time differences and busy lives.

"Nino?" I quickly answered, bringing the device to my ear as it met with the sound of vehicles passing and voices chattering in the background.

"Adrien, what's up bro?" He greeted just like he'd done in the past, as if all the years of silence hadn't changed or affected our relationship in anyway. . .

And that made me laugh.

"Not much. What'cha need?" I asked, leaning against my chair as I stared at the well-made meal in front of me. My spoon circling around the plate due to my lack of appetite this morning.

"Guess who just flew in to crash in Paris for a few weeks?"

"Um, you?" I answered, receiving a soft chuckle from the boy on the line.

"Correcto-mundo!" He said jokingly, my mood bettering in hearing the news, "You free right now? I'm taking the bus to that one coffee place we used to meet at."

"Yeah, its a five minute walk from here. I'll just head over right now." I said after stepping out of my chair to head into the living room.

"Great! I'll see ya there." He hung up. His voice sounding rather energetic before the phone went silent.

My name could be heard from the upstairs bedroom, where a forgotten brunette still laid waiting for me to reply. Yet, I did no such thing. I took my coat, grabbed my wallet, and placed my phone into my back pocket before I walked out the front door in a hurry.

The sun was shining just as bright as any other day. It's heat irritating me slightly as my mood failed to fit with the rest of the scenery. Clear skies, sunny days, birds chirping, all of it seemed quite cheerful. The exact opposite of the stormy weather in my head, filled with endless rain and dark clouds. All because of the absence of one girl. . .

One spectacular girl.

And as her image came flashing through my head, something red flew onto my shoulder. A ladybug. As if god himself were taunting me with the never ending reminders of the girl I had lost. And so, by force, I shook it off and watched it fly past me to leave. Leaving without ever looking back or saying goodbye. . .

Just like she had done to me.

"Where are we going now?" A tiny voice asked through the small pocket in my coat. The miniature black feline peeking his head out as he waited for an answer.

"Just a quick meet up with an old friend."

"Ooh, ooh!" It cried out for my attention, "Is there going to be food?" He asked, eyes big and wide with great hopes of receiving a _'yes'_.

"We have food at home, Plagg."

"Will there be camembert?" He continued asking.

"I already told you we have-"

"Somebody stop him!" A sudden scream was heard from down the street. A woman in a floral dress, crying desperately after watching a thief run off with her bag.

Everybody stood and watched. Nobody said or did anything to better the situation. All useless, scared, and discouraged as he continued moving further and further down the street without any failure to escape, because no one bothered to try and help. . .

Not even me.

"Aren't you going to try and do something this time?" The tiny feline asked, wiggling my finger in the pocket of my coat, waiting for me to become the hero he had hoped would one day change this city for the better. . .

"Sorry." I shrugged, turning my attention back to finding the café around the corner, "But there's no way I'm ever putting the mask on again."

"But it's been three years since-"

"And I'll wait three more if I have to, but I'm never suiting up without her. . . I can't." And with that, the tiny cat said nothing more. He simply sunk back into my pocket, quietly obeying my decision as we furthered our search.

Back then, it was a thrill to fight simply for the sake of fighting. But when I had finally won her heart, I had found my purpose to continue in battle. All for her, because I had something, someone, to fight for. Now that she was gone, it all seemed meaningless. This was a job only the two of us could ever do together, because we were a team. She was my partner, my best friend, and the love of my life. That's why, without her. . .

I was nothing.

"I'll take one of each!" Someone shouted within a shop I came to pass. A woman pointing at various items in a clothing store to take home with her. It wasn't a scene that interest me, nor did she appeal to me in anyway, however, her demands and pointing did get my attention on the signature of a dress hanging in the store window.

A design I recognized due to years of watching her imprint it on various items in her sewing room. The unique trick of working her name upside down in almost everything she created. It was something I had never seen before, something I always enjoyed watching her do, which was why I was able to recognize it instantly when seeing it placed for all to see. . .

It was her design.

"Sir!" I called out for the cashier, pushing past the woman shouting orders, as I took the dress in her hand and held it up for the man to see, "Where did you get this?" I asked, desperation evident in my tone as the eyes of all women in the store were stuck on me, such a strange act for a man of my age to ask about anything related to a dress, but I wasn't in the mood to care. I wanted answers, I wanted any information I could get, anything that could lead me to _her_. . .

"Oh, that's from the new stock. We got it shipped in from New York a couple weeks-"

"The designer! Do you have any way of contacting the designer!?" I cut his sentence off, not bothering to waste time on tiny details that had nothing to do with my investigation.

"Hey, man. I just work here. If you want that kind of info, you're gonna have to ask the boss-"

"Where is he?" I quickly asked, handing the dress back to the woman I had snatched it from.

"He's away on business. He won't be back 'till next week."

"You've gotta be kidding me. . ." I exhaled deeply, staring down at the floor after reaching only another dead end.

Even if I did wait, there was no guarantee their shopkeeper would have anything useful I needed. He probably wouldn't give out information like that to just anyone either. It was hopeless. All of it, everything. No matter how close I got, she always managed to move even further ahead. There was no point in continuing like this forever. Not when it kept leading me down a road of disappointment and misery. That much I was certain of, and I was just about ready to give up entirely. Until my ears caught the familiar, beautiful, voice of someone speaking on the TV screen. . .

It was Marinette.

She sat in a chair outside in what appeared to be a garden of some kind. Channel 7's anchor woman, and her best friend, sat interviewing the girl alone. It was unbelievable. A miracle of some kind. After years of never speaking to her, never hearing her voice, never seeing her face, or those beautiful blue eyes, she still looked just as magnificent as she did in the past. Though, her hair had grown far more than I had ever seen, tied up in a high ponytail that reached her mid-back. Other than that, she was still the same. Still smiling, still laughing, except this time. . .

It was all without me.

"So, what exactly are you planning to do here, Miss Dupain?" Alya asked the girl who smiled at the camera to answer. My eyes locking with hers as if she were still here, still with me even now, still wearing that same smile she used to always put on for _me_.

"Well, Paris is my home. That's why I've decided to stay and share all my success and ideas with the people of this city. I have so much in store for the future, and I only hope that people continue loving and purchasing my designs for as long as they are made available. . ."

"She's back?" That was all my head was stuck on. The only words that really mattered in that conversation. I didn't care about what more she had to say, or what else she had already said, just the fact that she was here again. She was _back_. In this city, somewhere, she was living peacefully without ever bothering to give me a call. Not one, not even a text. And all this time I had wasted in searching for her, the nights I spent running through rain calling out her name, none of it mattered now. . .

Because I meant nothing to her.

"Yo, Adrien!" The familiar voice of Nino came from outside the shop. His hand patting my back after he entered to join me. Though, my anger only rose in seeing the boy smiling without a care in the world. He knew my suffering, he knew my pain, yet he failed to alert me of the fact that his own wife had been spending her day with the love of my life. The love that chose to leave me behind. . .

"You knew?" I glared heavily at the boy who's eyes only then noticed the two girls chatting on the screen. It was then that his smile faded, and his panic kicked into full gear, because the moment he understood my anger he began to head back for the exit.

"Look, dude. It's not what you think-"

"Answer the question, Nino!" I screamed, following him out of the shop to avoid causing problems with the employees eyeing us 'till we left. And once we were out on the streets, ignoring all those who stopped to look at us, he sighed and turned around to face me again.

"I did." That's all he said. Nothing else but a basic shrug to go along with it.

"And what? Were you even planning on telling me about it?" I asked, clenching my fist to keep myself from flying off the rail and resulting to violence with the man I once called my _best friend_.

"Nope." He shook his head, calm and cool as if my reaction meant nothing to him at all in that moment. But I refused to let anger control me, knowing very well that answers would be much harder to receive if I acted out how I felt about the situation first.

"And why not?" He scratched his head in my asking, his eyes avoiding mine as they stared down the street to watch something in the far distance instead.

"Adrien, you gotta get over her man. She's moved on and you've both been through enough with all of-"

"You lied to me." I cut him off, laughing to mask my anger in hopes of calming myself down, "You knew all this time. Even when she left, didn't you? You knew where she was and you lied about-"

"Yeah, I did." He admitted tonelessly, his face showing no emotion at all as he stepped closer to speak, "But you weren't there when it happened, man. You didn't see how messed up she was when she showed up at our door after leaving you. And when she told me she wanted _nothing_ more to do with you, I had to lie to protec-"

Everyone's eyes stopped to look at the man who had fallen to the ground. My fist knocking him off his feet after I had finally reached my limit. I wanted to understand the situation, to understand the reason as to why it had all happened, but not like this. Not when he made me out to be the monster in all of this. Not if it meant having to admit that all of it was my fault, even though I _knew_ it was. I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want to believe it, because I had spent the last three years trying to find a way to hate her for it.

But now, after listening to him speak, I knew there was no way around it. I messed up. I screwed her over. I failed to keep her happy here. Yet, I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to believe that my efforts in earning her love ended with my failure as well. . .

Because I didn't want to be the one at fault.

"You know what, _bro?_ " He scoffed, shaking his head as he pushed off the floor to stand back up again, "I made the right call. And if you don't find a way to fix yourself, you'll lose _all_ of us for good." His threat was harsh and stern, but I kept my angry glare until he shoved past me to leave. . .

Because he was right.

I was the reason everything had gotten so bad. I pushed everyone out, and I was still doing it today, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't figure out what to do or say, because I couldn't tell the difference between what was right or wrong anymore. And I don't think I ever truly _could_. I think, the only reason I was able to be happy at the beginning, was because she was _always_ there. She was always next to me, always guiding me, and whatever it was she desired I knew had to be _good_ \- because _she_ was good. Then, her work and classes drove us to separate from one another over time. And that was why I had gotten myself lost again, why I had hurt even _her_ , because I was lost without her. And if I couldn't find her soon. . .

Then I'd always be.

The sudden buzz of my cellphone brought me to quickly reach out and answer it in hopes of a distraction. And that was something I seemed to be doing an awful lot of lately. Distracting myself so that I couldn't fix or focus on the real problems in front of me. But, I was going to change that. I had to. . .

If I ever wanted to win her back.

"Why didn't you answer my messages?" The nagging voice of my manager asked through the line.

"Sorry, I got tied up with a few things." I sighed, my eyes glancing around the area in hopes of finding the boy again. But I knew he was long gone by now. And if I kept this up, I knew he'd never come back.

"Well, get your ass down to the address I sent you. I managed to score you a possible slot as the main model for a new campaign in MDC's first launch here in Paris!"

"MDC?" The letters left a familiar taste on my tongue as I waited for the woman to better explain the job offer.

"It's the brand name of some new designer from New York. She's all the rage in the states right now, and her manager really liked the portfolio I sent in for you."

"Wait, did you say New York?" I waited for a confirmation, my legs rushing back into the store to search for the dress I had spotted the first time I entered.

"Yeah, she's got a fancy name to her too. What was it again? Marlyn? Marideth? No. . ." The woman struggled through her memory to label the designer I felt I already knew. And there, on the tag of the dress signed in her name, read the initials she used as her logo on the tiny slip of paper. . .

"Marinette?"

"That's it! I knew it had a fancy ring to it." The woman laughed, "Be sure to be here at five this afternoon. If you embarrass me with a no show again I'll give you hell!" She screamed into the device before slamming it down to hang up.

There it was. My answer, the miracle I had prayed for. I was excited, eager, and overjoyed in the opportunity at being able to take the chance in seeing her again. Yet, suddenly, a mixture of fear and anxiousness whirled in right after. If it was true, if she had really left that night in a mess, or in pain for whatever I might have said or done, there was a chance she'd still hate me for it. Not even a chance, it was a sure thing, because if she had forgiven me she would have called. She would have told me she was here, and that was how I knew she wasn't over it. But, there was no way I was giving up on her now.

I didn't care how much she hated me. She could curse my name, hit me all she wanted, just as long as I could see her again, hold her in my arms, listen to her voice - I'd be satisfied. And I wasn't going to give up until we moved past this. It didn't matter how long it'd take for her to forgive me, to trust me, or believe in me, because this time I was determined to win her over _just_ like before. And once I had. . .

 **I'd _never_ let her go again.**


	6. Chapter 5: So Here We Are Again

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **Love Will Remember**

 _ **(Selena Gomez)**_

 ** _Even if we try to forget, love will remember._**

 ** _You said you love me, I said I loved you back_**  
 ** _What happened to that, what happened to that_**  
 ** _All your promises, and all them plans we had,_**  
 ** _What happened to that, what happened to that_**  
 ** _Boom gone, yeah we move on, even if we try to forget,_**

 ** _Love will remember you, love will remember me_**  
 ** _I know it inside of my heart,_**  
 ** _Forever will forever be ours, even if we try to forget,_**  
 ** _Love will remember. . ._**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: So Here We Are Again**

 **(Marinette)**

This was Paris. A city full of beautiful sites and scenery. The type I should have been enjoying at the moment, but instead, I was stuck parked in the back of a building with a phone practically glued to my ear. There was so much that needed to be prepared for, ideas that needed to be gone over, but I couldn't do either with my mother on the line.

"Don't worry, Mom. The old bakery's pretty much under my name. I just have to wait and hear if it's official." I assured the woman who was already set in having our name back on the building of our old home.

"Just try not to overwork yourself. It's already been five months since you last called, and we worry that-"

"I got it." I interrupted her after stepping out of my car, "I'll make more time to call, but I really gotta go now. Tell dad I said hi!" And with a swift click of a button I hung up and shoved the phone into my back pocket before she could say anything else.

The building I stood watching from outside was fairly tall and wide. I didn't have time to look at the clock but something inside me screamed that I was already running late. So I grabbed my things, purse, wallet, and stacks of papers to bring into work. However, when I was just about ready to step inside I noticed a banner hanging from the side of a building a few yards down.

Adrien Agreste.

His career in modeling seemed to be soaring by the large poster of him and a woman promoting some form of underwear. A smile he gave to the girl in the photo was nothing like how he had ever given me. It was different, distant even. He wasn't the same anymore. Neither was I for that matter, but the feeling it gave was far different than before. He felt like a stranger. Not like the kind we'd become after the years of living together, but a _real_ stranger. Someone no longer connected to me in any way, shape, or form. He was nothing to me now. . .

And I was nothing to him as well.

I rushed in when I felt the vibration of my phone, knowing very well it was most likely my manager trying to contact me now. I ran past doors and through the lobby in search for the stairs. Fortunately I did manage to find the elevator instead but when I did it was already on it's way to closing and moving on up.

"Hold that door please!" I shouted to the person standing inside. A blonde who's face I didn't clearly distinguish through panic and heavy breathing. But luckily they managed to keep it open for me to enter just in time, and when I did I dropped all my things and leaned against the wall to catch my breath.

"Thank you so m-" My throat was burning, my legs were aching, and everything around me was spinning, but the one thing I managed to focus on was the blonde girl standing with her eyes stuck on her phone screen. Even after all this time it was clear to me who she was when being only three feet away, "Chloe?"

She quickly turned to me with furrowing brows, confused by my recognizing her, "Do I know you?" She asked bitterly.

"Marinette, we went to school together?" I tried reminding her, waiting a few seconds for the memory to click in her skull.

"Oh, right. You were on the news." She nodded, tone dull before sliding her phone into her bag, "You're working for some fashion company or something, right?"

"Or something." I laughed awkwardly, only then noticing the ring on her left hand, "You're engaged?"

She laughed at this before gazing down at the diamond, "I got married a long time ago. Not like someone as fabulous as me could be single at this age." She bragged.

"So, who's the lucky man?" I asked her, my question spilling out due to my own selfish reasons. Her obsession with Adrien in the past did worry me slightly. Not that it had anything to do with me at this point, but I was curious to learn if her chase had ended with a marriage proposal. Even though I knew asking would risk a bad reaction from myself if I learned that he had stopped loving me. . .

For her.

"Kim." She said sharply, a small smile sliding on her lips for a second, "He really outdid himself over the years."

"Yeah I heard he went pro with some major-"

"Oh please don't talk about sports with me. I get enough of it at home." She complained, rubbing her fingers on her temples as if to sooth a head ache on it's way to forming in her brain, "But he's decent enough and a great father."

"You have children?" I gaped, shocked by the idea of miss queen bee being a mother at any time or age.

"Just one. Can't risk ruining this perfect figure." She flipped her hair, placing a hand on her well curved hips. She seemed happy. She really did. Just like Alya and Nino, just like their children, just like Adrien on that poster, but me. . .

I wasn't too sure about how I felt anymore.

"Anyway, it's a good thing you got out of Paris when you did. That whole Adrien Fiasco would have done such terrible damage to your career." She tisked, shaking her head with arms crossed over her chest in shame.

"What fiasco?"

"You mean you don't know?" She looked to me with eyes slightly wide before she explained, "The partying, the DUI's, the countless women the paparazzi spotted him with. I'm telling you the second you were gone he turned into such a hot mess. But it was bound to happen one way or another." Her news was shocking to me. The thought of him doing anything like that didn't add up to the image I saw on that poster. I assumed he would have been better off during the years I had been away, and though it could have just been rumors stirred up with all the fame, it worried me. . .

Because he used to be my best friend.

"I must have been away a lot longer than I thought. . ." I muttered under my breath, not expecting her to catch my words or respond. And then the thought of it finally hit me. The images of supposed scenarios, the image of him and the last woman I spotted him with the night I left, only then did it make somewhat sense to me. That this was the man he had always been. A player, a flirt, the worst type of man out there. Even when Ladybug was still around he had no problem flirting with Marinette. He didn't care about anything or anyone at all really. It didn't matter if he had slept with hundreds or thousands of women since I'd been gone. It didn't matter that the only man I had ever been with was him either. None of that mattered to him, nor did it to me at this point, because it proved that I had meant nothing to him. . .

Not even for a second.

"Why'd you two split anyway? You both seemed pretty committed the last time I saw you." Chloe stared at me as her question hung in the air.

"I guess he just got bored. You know me I'm not all that exciting. . ." I tried to laugh it off. Not wanting to let it get to me when it was nothing more but a mistake of the past.

"I wouldn't say that. You always stuck out when we were in school. Everybody loved you and I. . . kind of envied that a little."

"You envied me?" I stared, eyes big after hearing her unexpected confession.

"I used to, but I have nothing to be jealous of now." She grinned, not so much with pride but in proving something far greater. She had found her place in the world and she was happy with just that.

"This is my stop." I announced when the elevator dinged and opened for the fifth floor, "It was nice catching up with you again!" I waved after grabbing my things and rushing out. I did glance back one last time, feeling this would most likely be the last chance I'd ever see her again. But when I did she was already gone. It was a bittersweet kind of feeling. Someone I once acknowledged as my enemy would still be connected to the most precious years of my life. . .

But that was all over now.

There were dozens of models ready to audition in the waiting room. I saw them through a glass window as each sat in their chairs to be called on. There was no way I could go in without being spotted, and no way I was willing to risk being caught. I spent nearly five minutes pacing and searching around the area for a way to get in. It was then that I saw a door down the hall connecting to the room everyone else was waiting to enter through, and immediately I went rushing for it. I didn't stop to think about anything else, just determined to go in and find the people waiting for me. Which I did just. . .

At a _bad_ time.

My manager and her casting agent sat by a white table reviewing the head shot and resume of a girl running lines in front of them. She had a packet of papers in her hand, staring at a camera only until I ran in and had all their heads turn to me. She squealed, dropping her items in excitement when she saw me. No doubtedly a fan of mine determined to get a spot in working under my company's name.

"Don't mind me." I tried to laugh when I set my things on the table.

"Marinette," My manager Sarah stepped up to come over, "Where have you been?"

"Alright I think that's enough." The casting agent, a man with slicked back hair, glasses and a nice suit, dismissed the girl to leave.

"Good work today!" I shouted loudly to the girl who went off happliy.

"Miss Dupain, we've been waiting on you for over an -"

"I'm so sorry!" I apologized quickly, clapping my hands together to beg for their forgiveness, "I had to drop off a few things, there was traffic, my papers were a mess and I-I-"

"Marinette, relax." Sarah started to laugh, "We were just messing with you. You're only late by 10 minutes." She assured me, patting my shoulder to relieve the tension that had built within them.

"Oh thank goodness." I breathed, letting out a heavy sigh before taking a seat.

"But now that you're here we can talk a little bit about a specific model we had in mind." Sarah paused, waving at her assistant in the corner to leave the room, "Bring them in please."

"If you already had one in mind why'd you call me in today? You know I trust your taste when it comes to all of-"

"I wanted to be sure." She interrupted, handing me the resume of the next one ready to come in, "Besides it wasn't my idea exactly. . ." Her words trailed off when my phone rang again, and knowing it couldn't be her contacting me, nor my parents at this point, I was certain it was the call I'd been waiting to hear all day.

"I have to take this. My real estate agent promised to call for an important location." I explained before stepping out of my seat and heading for the back door through which I had entered in.

"Hurry back!" I heard Sarah yell before I stepped out into the hall.

"Hello?" I answered, doing my best to hide my eager excitement.

"Miss Cheng, thank goodness you answered. Don't I have great news for you!" She responded with great energy, making it impossible for me to contain myself.

"Is it mine? Is it?"

"The location you requested is now officially under your name." There was a long moment of heavy silence that came with the shortness of breath. It was mine. It was really mine this time. My room, my home, my childhood was finally mine again. And this time no one would ever take it away from me.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" I laughed excitedly, clutching the phone close to my ear as the news was still fresh in my head.

"Well I hope you enjoy it this much in the future. Best of luck!" She finished.

"You too!" I giggled before hanging up, "Yes!" I clenched my fists and went jumping around in joy. All my hard work and success had finally paid off. Though it hadn't been easy and the struggles were more than difficult, they proved to be worth it all in the end. I was ready to get back to work. My energy was fully restored because now I had something to look forward too. But when I whipped around ready to race back into the room I accidentally collided with another behind me instead. . .

"I'm so sorry! I've been clumsy all day tod-" I tried to apologize, even after dropping my phone. My head was so caught up in the clouds that I hadn't been paying any attention to my surroundings at the moment. But when I did and I looked up at the stranger standing in front of me both my heart and Jaw dropped instantly, ". . .A-Adrien?"

"Glad to see My Lady still recognizes my face?" He grinned, making me freeze and unable to breathe. It happened so fast that I couldn't even move to retrieve the device I had dropped on the floor. Which instead had him bending down to pick it up for me. Almost like a dream, a nightmare, this was something that was never meant to happen. Not that it didn't seem possible, I just hadn't ever thought to meet with him again. . .

Not like this.

"Marinette we're wasting valuable. . ." Sarah came out of the room to find me, but when she did she seemed almost as surprised to see the blonde standing out there, "Adrien Agreste! It's a pleasure." She smiled confidently, reaching out to shake his hand when greeting the flirtatious man who placed a chaste kiss over hers.

"The pleasure's all mine." He winked, making the woman's cheeks flush a deep red before she cleared her throat and when rushing to my side.

"Netty, this is the boy I was talking about?" She placed a hand on my shoulder, waving her hand over the older looking blonde as if he were a product, "A real catch for the campaign don't you think?"

"Um. . ." It was difficult to speak. My throat felt dry and it was as if I were choking on the air itself. But it had been so long since I'd seen him. Even now age still seemed to have no affect on him at all. Though slightly more built he seemed almost exactly the same as in the past. The only difference being that his blonde waves had gotten longer, and he seemed to enjoy rocking the short ponytail look.

But that smile. The one he gave in that moment as if re-meeting meant nothing to him, judging by how calm he reacted. It reminded me that what we had, what I meant, was nothing. And I was tired of playing _his_ games by _his_ rules. This time. . .

I was determined to win.

"Well, he's not someone I'm all that familiar with but he _does_ have great features." I nodded to the girl on my left, never looking to him even when he spoke.

"Yeah, well I knew you'd - wait, what?" He seemed taken aback by my remark, clearly catching on to what I was implying at this point.

"There you are!" Another woman came out to join us, one who I did not recognize at all, "I see the three of you have already met?" She looked at each of us for a response.

"I think he's a keeper!" Sarah told the older looking woman sticking close to the blonde who I felt was still watching me.

"Well he _is_ very popular amongst the young ladies in the city-"

"I'm not all that popular. . ." He quickly said, eyes staring sharply at the other woman before they turned to me again.

"Well I hope that's not the case." I said calmly, forcing what little courage I had to stare directly into his eyes, "It'd be nice to have a model the audience is excited to see."

"Very true, but popular or not he's the perfect fit, yes?" My manager Sarah looked to me for a confirmation.

"Sure. It'd be nice to work with someone new for a change." I agreed, looking to each before my eyes met with the opened door calling for me to rush to and escape.

"New?" He muttered quietly with a laugh, "What are you trying to pull Mari?" His question and refusing to play along with my act erased the forced smile I had on my face.

"I'm sorry, do you two know each other?" Sarah asked, pointing her finger at each of us.

"Yes-"

"Not that I'm aware of." I cut him off, glaring at him for only a short second before I smiled at the two confused women standing by us.

"Marinette drop the act already." He breathed indignantly.

"Excuse me?" I played dumb, squinting at the stranger who in truth was really no more than just that; a stranger.

"Are you seriously trying to downplay this with amnesia or something? Don't you have anything else to say to me?" This made me laugh. I couldn't help it by the tone in his voice. He was mad. He of all people, upset with me for reasons that didn't add up at all. If anything the one to be angry with the situation should have been me. But, of course, that was never the case with the famous Adrien Agreste. It was his way or no way, and if he didn't get what he wanted he'd hold everyone else accountable. . . including me.

"Perhaps there's been a misunderstanding." Sarah tried to defend me in my place.

"I have been told I have one of those faces." I nodded with a smile.

"Maybe you've overworked yourself-" His agent tried to place a hand on his arm, hoping to get him away but was pushed back by his brutal force.

"I know exactly who she is." He hissed, eyes burning in anger when he stepped forward and snatched my wrist, "Tell these people the truth Mar-"

"I'm telling you now," I spat, wrenching my arm free before stepping back, "You've got the wrong girl." There was a long moment of us glaring angrily at each other, as if battling telepathically in our heads. But he was still a child. Just like I had thought. He hadn't changed. He was still the same, heartless, man of the past. He wanted what he couldn't have and because of that it drove us both to this stage. . .

It drove us to hate.

"We have our guy, so I'll leave first." I told Sarah before pushing past the blonde to leave alone. At least I tried till he raced forward to yank me back by my arm.

"Marinette, just talk to me _please_! You owe me that much!"

"I don't owe you anything!" I shouted, pushing him away to keep a larger distance between us.

"You ditch me without a word for three years and you think that's okay? You can't keep trying to avoid me forever!"

"Security!" I yelled, noticing the hint of betrayal he felt through the disappointment he showed in his eyes.

"Seriously?" He shook his head, sighing heavily when he noticed the two large men in the waiting room coming out to keep him away.

"Okay, okay, I'm going." He held his hands up defensively, eyes staring at me through the gap between the larger two blocking him, "The old bakery. Meet me there tonight." He whispered to me quietly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I shrugged and turned my back to him. Not wanting to deal anymore with the twinging pain in my chest after seeing him.

"Marinette you better-" He stepped forward but I didn't look, nor did the two in uniform allow him to touch me, "Fine, keep hiding but I'm not letting it end here! I'll wait there all night if I have to!" He screamed. Then there were footsteps, the voice of his agent apologizing, and then he was gone. He was really gone again. . .

But I wasn't sure if it'd be for good this time.

"Are you sure you don't know him?" Sarah came over after waving the other two men to leave back for their posts.

"I told you I didn't." I snapped harshly, feeling guilty when she flinched at my unexpected reaction.

"Alright, calm down."

"Sorry," I sighed, "I just have a lot on my plate right now and an obsessed fan is the last thing I need to worry about. . . "

"About that. . ." She laughed nervously before continuing, "You see I got a call this morning about an offer from a great well renowned fashion designer here in Paris hoping to collaborate with you for your launch. . ."

"Which designer?" I asked, unable to feel excited when she now seemed far more nervous to answer.

"Gabriel Agreste." My heart sunk into my stomach, making me feel nauseous at the thought of the Agrestes returning into my life.

"I thought he retired-"

"He did, but he said he was very impressed by your work and wanted to pitch in a few ideas. It would really help with the press and-"

"Did you say yes?" I cut right to what I needed to here. It wasn't that I hated Mr. Agreste, he was one of my many inspirations as a young girl, but he was also the father of my ex-fiancé. And I was almost sure he wanted nothing to do with me after I had left his only son. . .

"There's still paper work that needs to be done, but I couldn't exactly say _no_ without giving him a bad impression so-"

"So you agreed." I stepped back, feeling the ground destabilizing under my feet. But that's exactly what it felt like. As if I was losing balance in everything.

"I'm sorry. . ." She apologized sincerely, you could tell just by how upset she acted towards me, but there was still more. . . "He also mentioned that under his request he would prefer his son to take part in our campaign. He said it would help bring more attention to his and your work-"

"It's fine. . ." I forced a smile, masking my true thoughts before I headed back to the room alone, "I'll talk to you later tonight." I let her know after I grabbed my things in the room and left for the direction of the elevator.

It terrified me honestly. Even if I never let them see it, it terrified me in having to meet with Adrien again. Which is why I was half-set on letting him wait on me all night, because I was half-sure he wouldn't wait for me that long. But that other half, that half that would always be connected to him, always tied to the boy of my youth, that half was what had me doubting my decision to avoid him. It's what had me questioning on whether or not he would still be there, waiting some time around midnight or dawn, because back then he _was_ willing to go to such lengths for me. But that was back then. We weren't kids anymore, we had changed, at least I had. But the possibility of him being there, waiting for me, that's what over took my sanity and common sense. Whether it'd be a mistake or not, I couldn't just walk away and ignore it. I couldn't because that other half, the half that had loved him, admired him, it was that half. . .

That was much stronger than the other.


	7. Chapter 6: The First Apology

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **Sorry**

 _ **(Cover by: RollUpHills)**_

 _ **You gotta go and get**_  
 _ **Angry at all of my honesty**_  
 _ **You know I try but I don't do too well with apologies**_  
 _ **I hope I don't run out of time, could someone call the referee?**_  
 _ **Cause I just need one more shot at forgiveness**_

 _ **I know you know that I**_  
 _ **Made those mistakes maybe once or twice**_  
 _ **And by once or twice I Mean**_  
 _ **Maybe a couple a hundred times**_  
 _ **So let me oh let me**_  
 _ **Redeem oh redeem oh myself tonight**_  
 _ **Cause I just need one more shot at second chances**_

 _ **Yeah**_  
 _ **Is it too late now to say sorry?**_  
 _ **Cause I'm missing more than just your body**_  
 _ **Is it too late now to say sorry?**_  
 _ **Yeah I know that I let you down**_  
 _ **Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?**_

* * *

 **Chapter 6: The First Apology**

 **Adrien**

A smiling moon and an empty street. The occasional passing of strangers often stopped to stare at the man sitting on the corner street by an old abandoned bakery. My only companion being that of the little kwami snoring in my coat pocket.

It had already hit midnight at this time and still she was nowhere to be found. The urge to give up for the day, perhaps even for good this time, ate at me with every second that passed. But my promise to her drove me to stay awake in hopes that she'd arrive soon. And fortunately a car did manage to pull up to the sidewalk half an hour later. There she revealed herself by stepping out of the vehicle looking ever so thin with long dark hair reaching her lower back.

"Marinette!" I called to her with a smile, but she didn't do the same. Perhaps it was the exhaustion in waiting hours for her to meet with me, or the fact that I still couldn't believe she was actually here, that it morphed her true expression. All I did was focus on sparkling sapphire eyes the moon illuminated in the night. That was it. Not the anger that showed through, or the hand she raised to slap my face. . .

But the pain did manage to snap me out of that deluded state.

"What were you thinking?" She hissed through her teeth.

"Why did you-"

"You can't embarrass me at work like that, Adrien!" She snapped, flailing her arms in the air and ruining what I had hoped to be a more welcoming reunion, "There's a time and place for everything. You can't just-"

"Well if I had any other way of contacting you I wouldn't have needed to go down there in the first place." I bit back, the years of abandonment and neglect finally boiling over and fueling the anger she deserved to see, "How else was I suppose to get you to come out and see me?"

"I didn't think we'd need a reason to meet again. . ." She shrugged, stepping back after taking in a deep breath. "I'm sorry for hitting you." She muttered quietly and suddenly everything went silent. It was awkward. No it was worse than awkward because I felt like a stranger to her. She didn't seem to care at all and it felt like no matter what I did I wouldn't get her to care even a bit at this point.

"Don't be. It was my fault for making a scene. . ." There was a long and heavy pause. The occasional glances she gave me before turning away whenever I happened to catch her eyes. I didn't understand her. I couldn't read her and though I was overjoyed in seeing her again, it was painful. I was suffocating on my own pain. The pain she gave me by tossing me to the curb without a single explanation as to why. . .

Why she chose to leave me behind?

"Why didn't you tell me you were back?" I forced myself to ask. She seemed put off by this question, staring at me with a puzzled look as if it made no sense to even ask.

"Why would I? We haven't spoken in the last three years-"

"But that's not my fault!" I shouted, making her flinch in response. This had my heart aching even more. I couldn't yell at her or talk to her without upsetting her in someway. And with everything that happened at the auditions she seemed pretty clear that she wanted nothing to do with me, and that was fine. I just needed to understand _why_ and _when_ she decided to stop loving me. . . "You were the one who disappeared without a word, remember?"

"Because that's what you wanted." She averted her gaze, twisting the situation to whatever scenario she had in her head.

"I never told you to-"

"I don't have time to keep playing the blame game with you all night." She scoffed, a slight warning in her tone before she turned back to leave. However I did manage to catch her arm and stop her from disappearing again. My mind knowing very well that if I dared let her go she'd have no trouble in vanishing without a word. She'd had plenty of practice as ladybug with keeping her identity unknown, she was a pro at hiding after the three years she kept away from me, which is why I couldn't let her leave like this. . .

Or I'd risk losing her again.

"Why'd you do it?" I finally asked, swallowing hard, "Why'd you leave? Why didn't you ever call me back?"

"I left you a note." She said plainly. Never looking back at me.

"Right, because a note's a _perfect_ way to end a _seven year_ relationship." I said sarcastically, hurt by her answer.

"What relationship?" She finally spun back, shoving me away to retrieve her arm, "There was no relationship! You said it yourself we were practically strangers stuck living under the same roof!"

"I never said that!" I fired back.

"Right. . ." She laughed quietly, shaking her head as if there was something more I was missing. But before I could speak again she began to walk away.

"Don't!" I went rushing in front of her, blocking every step she made to try and escape, "I'm not some toy you can play with to throw away whenever you like!"

" _I_ threw _you_ away?" Her voice cracked as a shuddering breath escaped her lips, "That selective memory must surely come in handy at times like this." She tried to laugh again, pushing hard to move past me but was stuck after I reached out to yank her back.

"Stop running away from me!" I demanded.

"I'm not running from anything!" She spat, struggling to break from my hold this time until she eventually gave up, "You think I wanted to leave that way? Paris was my home."

"Then why'd you do it?" I asked again.

"Because you didn't want me there!" She screamed, the pain emitted through her words stabbing me in the chest, "I did everything for you! I gave you everything I could but it was never good enough for you!"

"What are you talking ab-"

"I don't want to keep doing this with you anymore!" That was my queue to stop. The tears that gathered and slipped down her cheeks, the lack of strength she had in fighting me off. She was hurting. She was in pain because of me, because I had let her down. Though it felt like there was more to it. More to that night then I had originally thought. But what. . .

What was it that drove her to leave?

"I don't want to have to hate you, Adrien." She sobbed quietly, her arm slipping out of my fingers slowly, "I don't, but if you don't stop that's all I'll ever feel towards you." She whispered when turning away from me to hide her crying face. She didn't move or run, she just stood quietly crying to herself with her back faced toward me. And I couldn't help the need to embrace her, because I knew she wouldn't let me wipe those tears away.

"I'm sorry." I whispered in her ear, feeling her body wince when touched by me.

"Let go of me." She managed to choke out sternly. But the sound in her tone, the grief and pain, it managed to stir up tears in my eyes instead. And because of that I didn't have the confidence to let her see me just yet.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Mari." I said to her, hoping my apology would be strong enough to reach her heart. "I never wanted you to leave. How could I when I'm still this in lov-"

"Don't say it!" She screamed, elbowing me hard in the gut to knock me down on my knees, "Don't lie to me."

"It isn't a lie!" I managed to breathe out, fighting through the pain that came through the strength of the once legendary hero known to Paris as Ladybug. I wanted to beg for forgivness, to get her to understand me better and talk everything out properly. I did but. . .

Then he showed up.

"Marinette!" He called to her with a smile. The fiery red haired male I recognized in being one of the many who had sought to steal the heart of my beloved princess.

"Nathaneal." She forced on a fake smile, wiping tears away quickly for the man she had never shown much interest in before. However the light blush in her cheeks now proved otherwise. After all he _had_ managed to bulk up over the years. Making him a fine match to win her over - but he was nothing compared to me.

"We keep running into each other, don't we?" He said with a timid smile.

"What are you doing out so late?" She asked, ignoring me completely when conversing with the other. Which didn't bother me in the slightest. She wasn't all that great with flirting in general, and this was merely a tiny obstacle that stood in my way of claiming her again.

"I spend most of the day painting because it's a lot harder to work at night so. . ." He stopped his yammering when our eyes locked, but he paid little attention to me when speaking to her again, "Am I interrupting something?"

"Yeah-" I tried to say before she interrupted.

"Actually, we were just wrapping things up." She decided alone, refusing to acknowledge the glare I gave her from behind.

"Well, if you're not doing anything right now we could go and get that coffee I mentioned before?"

"At this hour?" I laughed mockingly, enjoying the red that flushed his cheeks in embarrassment.

"Oh, well it might be a little late for-"

"Coffee sounds pretty nice right now." She persisted, locking arms with him before finally looking back to me. "I've agreed to work with your father for the upcoming season. So if we do run into each other again I'd appreciate if you kept it strictly professional at all times." She explained harshly, intentionally trying to irritate me with how close she stood next to him.

"Marinette, just hear me out."

"Goodbye Adrien." She finished bitterly, squaring her shoulders to shove past me when the two left.

I watched her figure fade into the night in the arms of another man, feeling useless in being able to do nothing about it. I had lost her. I had lost the days we shared together. The moments spent walking these streets together, climbing up to her balcony, gazing at the moonlight, all of that was gone because _she_ was gone. The worst thing about it was that my questions hadn't been answered and it felt like they never would. It made giving up sound a lot easier at this point. But I couldn't do that just yet, because this was how it had been for years. Me chasing after her, despite the many rejections, I could handle it. I had handled it in the past and that was how I had managed to win her over. And that's exactly what I'd do again. Keep pushing through, fight against her refusing me, because it didn't matter how long it'd take. I would wait a millennium if it meant I could have her in my arms again. I'd wait forever because it was her. . .

 **And she was always worth waiting for.**


	8. Chapter 7: No More Heartbreak

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **Little Do You Know**

 ** _(Alex & Sierra)_**

 ** _Little do you know_**

 ** _I'm still haunted by the memories_**

 ** _Little do you know_**

 ** _I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece_**

 ** _Little do you know_**

 ** _I need a little more time_**

 ** _Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside_**

 ** _I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind_**

 ** _I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight_**

 ** _Little do you know_**

 ** _I need a little more time_**

 ** _I'll wait, I'll wait_**

 ** _I love you like you've never felt the pain,_**

 ** _I'll wait_**

 ** _I promise you don't have to be afraid,_**

 ** _I'll wait_**

 ** _The love is here and here to stay_**

 ** _So lay your head on me_**

* * *

 **Chapter 7: No More Heartbreak**

 **(Marinette)**

 _"Boring isn't it?" I asked the green eyed feline sitting beside me on the edge of the Eiffel tower. Grey clouds shifted above us, indicating the signs of a storm soon approaching. Little did I know that, that storm. . ._

 _Would one day be us._

 _"Even after all these years it's just not as thrilling anymore." I admitted out loud before getting up to enjoy the cool breeze._

 _True, things had changed overtime. But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. We had matured. We were adults now. Even though Ladybug and Chat Noir weren't all that much needed after the defeat of the once infamous HawkMoth, we still stayed true to the promise we made to protect this city. Together we set out daily to patrol and help out anyone in need of assistance no matter the type._

 _It's just that thing's had gotten quieter recently. It wasn't exciting anymore, outside or at home, though most of that was due to spending most of my time at school and work. We were beginning to lose our touch. I could feel it and it scared me. It scared me because it felt like one day we'd drift apart. . ._

 _"Shouldn't that be a good thing?" Said the cat who stood up to join me with his arms wrapped around my waist, "No more akuma hunting or baddies to stress about. I think thing's are a lot better this way." He flashed a sneaky grin before attempting to lean in and capture my lips._

 _"You're just saying that cause you're lazy." I rolled my eyes and playfully pushed the other's face away from mine._

 _"I_ am _happy that things are quieter now, but not because I'm lazy. . ." He paused and slid his hand in mine, fingers interlocking slowly as blue bell eyes met with emerald green ones, "But because I get to enjoy each second with you."_

 _This was what I loved most about him. No matter the distance, the separation, or the few hours we had together in the day, he always did his best to remind me just how strong our love truly was. He was always trying, always fighting, not just for me but for us. Our future was only really just starting and he had proved once again just how determined he was to keep that going. To keep things like this, between us, now and forever._

 _"Well that's one bonus." I smirked as he came forward to press his lips over mine. The sparks were still there. Every kiss just like the first. His touch still managed to get my heart racing and I didn't think that would ever stop. We had been on the adventure of a lifetime, together loving one another. There was no way anything, or anyone, could tear that apart._

 _"And you my lady are sheer purr-fection." He smiled in between the kiss before suddenly pulling away, "Now there's just one more thing you need to do."_

 _"That being?" I questioned the smile he let slide on his face before he stepped back._

 _"Well we already live together, shop together, cook together, sleep together. . . well less sleeping and more-"_

 _"Easy kitty," I slapped my hands over his mouth, feeling slightly embarrassed at how openly confident he was in discussing such things outloud, "You need a microphone to finish that sentence?"_

 _He laughed quietly before taking my hands to place a quick kiss on each, "Well now that my lady seems to get the idea, can you figure out what else we're missing?"_

 _"What do you mean?" I went over it in my head several times, trying to piece every little thing together. But it still led me nowhere. I had no clue as to what he was planning or trying to imply. Then to my surprise he took my left hand, knelt down on one knee and gazed up at me with only three little words I'd only ever dreamed of hearing. . ._

 ** _"Marry me, Marinette."_**

 _The air was stuck in my throat. I couldn't breathe, move or think for several seconds. This had been it. This had been what I'd worked so hard to get from him. This was greater than everything we'd been through, missions, dates, all of it. It overwhelmed me to the point that tears threatened to form in my eyes. But I held it in. I held the urge to accept his request after giving me such a shock._

 _"That's your big proposal?" I played serious, taking my hand out of his as the smile on his face dropped, "No fireworks, no bouquet of roses, or even a ring? You know for being one of the richest heirs in this city I was expecting a lot more. . ." I teased, turning my back to him so that I could fight the urge to laugh at his panic._

 _"Do over!" He shouted, reaching for my hand again, "I thought it'd be more romantic since it was a spur of the moment kind of thing, but I can get you those roses! Just let me make a few phone calls and I'll have that ring and those fire works ready by-"_

 _"Calm down, Cat. I'm just yanking your tail." I gave in, unable to restrain myself from bursting into laughter._

 _"Thanks for making this easy for me." He frowned, looking far more upset than I had originally anticipated. But it was a moment I couldn't pass up._

 _"Easy doesn't exist in my vocabulary." I shrugged, smiling lovingly after wrapping my arms around his neck._

 _"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." He sighed, pulling me in closer as he anxiously waited for me to respond, "Your answer?"_

 _"Of course it's a yes." This had his eyes lighting up like the fourth of July. The smile he carried stretched on his face when he picked me up and spun me around._

 _We had survived so much together. Conquered the impossible, fought for what was right, and all while choosing to protect and love one another through everything. He was my everything, he was the only thing I needed. It didn't matter what the future held for me or us, so long as we were together I knew we could surely survive it._

 _"I love you." He whispered into my ear with arms holding me tightly._

 _"I know. . ." I whispered back, pulling away only slightly to find his lips._

 ** _"I love you too."_**

"Marinette!"

"What!?" I jumped in my seat after my eyes snapped open to the call of my name. There I met with hazel eyes of the girl who offered to drive me to work today, due to my frail state caused by malnutrition and sleepless nights.

"How long was I out?" I asked after noticing we'd been parked outside of the studio.

"The whole ride here. Plus ten minutes since we arrived early." She informed me while grabbing her items in the seat behind us.

"Sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night." I yawned, forcing myself to sit up straight and adjust to the sun's afternoon light.

"Maybe you shouldn't have stayed out late last night with you know who." She muttered while rummaging through her bag, her words referring to the redhead I had decided to leave with after my meeting with Adrien, "Seriously, I love you and all, but when are we ever gonna make time to _actually_ hang out?" She half-complained, even though part of her enjoyed getting the inside look to my newest line this season.

"We're hanging out right now?" I tried to joke while stretching my arms.

"Bringing me to work doesn't count." She glared.

"Sorry, thing's have just been a little chaotic lately. . ." I let out a heavy sigh, debating on whether or not to inform her of my short conversation with the blonde the other night. But then a ring went off in my pocket and I pulled out my phone to answer the text I'd only just received, "Hey, maybe we could hang out here this Saturday?" I suggested after showing her the invitation to an art gallery being thrown by Nathaneal himself.

"You want me to third wheel on your _date?_ " She raised a brow, suspecting something more out of the friendly message he'd sent.

"It's not a date, but if it bother's you then just bring Nino along." I said after clicking the seatbelt off and reaching down for paperwork I placed at my feet.

"He's not gonna wanna go out just yet. He's still recovering from some stupid fist fight."

"What fist fight?" I gasped, unable to understand how anyone would want to harm someone as friendly and harmless as Nino.

"Differences of opinions he said." She shared after crossing her arms, "All I know is that he and Adrien got into something that pissed them both off." Her words more than shocked me, they disappointed me greatly.

"Adrien did it?" I frowned, baffled that he would cause any danger to his once closest friend in the city. His actions and words were always so different. They clashed constantly and never made any sense. This was why I couldn't trust him. Not yet and maybe not ever. He hadn't changed, in fact he seemed to have gotten worse over the years.

"Yeah, crazy right?" She tisked, shaking her head in disapproval of the blonde's behavior, "So you're still avoiding him?" She asked after turning to me.

"Actually. . ." I hesitated for a moment longer, then gave in. Realizing it'd be impossible to try and hide the truth forever, "He's the new face for this seasons line."

"Wait, what!?" She burst out, making me jump again, "Why didn't you tell m-"

"I only found out yesterday." I explained, slumping into my chair and dreading the thought of even stepping into the studio, "That's why I asked you to come with me today. . ."

Her eyes shifted from me to the back entrance of the building we were parked in, "So he's going to be there for today's shoot? Why?"

I swallowed hard before answering, "His father wanted to collaborate on a few ideas. . ."

"And you just couldn't say no?"

"It's complicated and I don't wanna get into it. Just promise you won't leave me alone with him." I begged, taking her hands with pleading eyes.

"Girl, relax." She said before grabbing my shoulders, "I promise there's nothing that'll get me to leave your side." That's what she vowed. At least it was until we entered the building. After that she disappeared to chase after every famously well known model willing to be interviewed by her.

"Never leave my side huh?" I sighed, finding it difficult to stay mad at her when it had been obvious from the start that she was never one to turn down a good story.

"Netty!" The voice of my manager called, racing over with heavy breaths after the busy day she no doubt had in setting everything up.

"What do you need?" I asked the girl after placing all my paper work down.

"Your. . . Your guest has arrived." She tried to breathe. Bending down to catch her breath for a second.

"Guest? What G-" There was no need to ask. The man who approached us answered that without even needing to speak.

"Gabriel Agreste. . ."

There he was. Only two feet away from me now. His aging evident in wrinkled skin and snowy hair. He was very different from the last time I had seen him. Different but not at all bad. He was smiling. He was really smiling. It was warm and welcoming, something I hadn't expected to receive after my break up with his only son.

"Miss Dupain." He greeted, "I see you've made a successful career in this industry."

"You've met before?" Sarah looked to me. My panic re-gathering in the back of my head as I struggled to come up with another lie to hide this. But that didn't seem to be necessary when Gabriel decided to explain it himself.

"Miss Dupain took part in a contest I threw way back when. What was it you designed again?" He asked, leaving it up to me to finish the story without drawing any suspicion.

"A hat. A derby hat." I admitted calmly. My manager's interest dropping when given the details.

"I noticed you still keep that signature mark on all your designs." He pointed out. A smile forming on my lips after hearing him remember something as trivial as that.

"If you'll excuse me I have to talk to the photographer." Sarah left our group when the photographer began setting up his equipment. Thus leaving me alone with the older man to discuss whatever it was that he had come to meet with me today.

"Um, thank you again for offering to work with us. . ." I started off awkwardly, hands fidgeting at my sides.

"After everything you've done for me and my family, it's the least I could do."

"Well I'm glad you still remember me." I smiled. He did the same, though it dropped when his eyes caught something in the distance.

"It's nearly impossible to forget the name and face of my once soon to be daughter in law." He stared down. My nerves making me sweat as the tension rose between us. "But our personal affairs are best kept private when it comes to work."

"I agree." I said with a quick nod.

"I made arrangements with your manager to discuss our plans sometime next week." He turned his head to the woman having an unpleasant disagreement with the photographer and his camera.

"Sounds great."

He gave me one quick smile before turning for the exit, "It was lovely seeing you again, Miss Dupain."

"You too sir." I waved, and with that he left the building with his insanely large bodyguard following behind.

It was uncomfortable. No, it was beyond uncomfortable. But part of me was glad to have met with him at least once. It was good to see how far he'd come. His personality had improved a lot more since the time I'd been gone. True it showed signs of great progress when I last saw him, but it was nice to see that he seemed a lot more at peace now. Which meant his relationship with Adrien should have improved as well. And that made me feel a lot more relieved. . .

Because he was in good hands now.

"Care to chat with this old Cat now?" An annoying voice whispered in my ear, making me yelp and jump as I whipped around to face the green eyed male who thought it funny to sneak up on me again.

I placed a hand on my chest, taking in several breaths so that my heart could settle before I pushed past him, "Three years and I forgot just how _awful_ your Cat puns are."

"C'mon," He grabbed my arm, pulling me back with a cheeky grin, "No need to be so Agreste-ive."

"Seriously?" I reeled my arm back, rolling my eyes at the failed comedian he attempted to play, "Shouldn't you be in the fitting room?" I reminded him. Hoping he'd get the hint and leave me alone now that Alya was gone.

"Shouldn't you be eating breakfast?" He commented with eyes scanning me from head to toe, "Seriously you're thinner than most of the models here. When was the last time you-"

"Wow, you really know how to boost a girls self-esteem." I folded my arms over my chest with sarcasm in my tone.

"I'm just showing my concern." He shrugged.

"Well don't. We already agreed to keep things professional at-"

"In my defense I never actually agreed to that." He cut in, "But I promise I won't start anything at work." He vowed with one hand held up and the other on his chest.

I had nothing to say to him. My only concern being on my work and surviving the day by paying very little attention to the blonde. Even though at this point he'd be the face on every billboard centered on MDC. There was no escaping that but there were ways I could work around it. As long as I stayed focused on my goals then not even he could stop me.

"I saw the clothes." He went on, "They're really good. I'm amazed by how far you've gotten with all of this."

"Well it was all thanks to you honestly." I began with a smile, "If you hadn't thrown me out I never would have had the courage to leave Paris on my own."

"Thrown you out?" He laughed. A loud, harsh, laugh that had everyone turning heads, "Now who's the one with the selective memory? Might I remind you that you chose to leave me without any real reason to?"

My head spun in circles. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The fact that he thought he could play the victim in any of this was what was really humorous. Him. After everything I'd done in the past, all the sacrifices I made to please _him_. . .

It was unbelievable.

"Are you kidding me right now? Were you really that drunk you can't even remember?"

"Remember what?" He blinked.

"Forget it." I shoved past him, seeing no point in arguing with the blonde who kept pulling me back. It was annoying. Not being able to escape him and having to always keep my cool. Honestly, I was ready to snap at him, call security, and have him be kept away from me at all times but. . . but then I saw his face. A look of despair and hurt filled green eyes that looked to be shimmering with tears. The hand he held me with was shaking terribly and I realized that perhaps I had said too much, been too harsh, and I couldn't help but feel guilty whenever he was upset. . .

"Was I really what was holding you back?" He asked in a faint whisper, head bent so that I could no longer see the pained expression he carried for a second.

"No, I just meant. . ." The words didn't flow properly. It was hard to explain my situation without hurting him, because he had in fact been what he thought himself to be. My past weakness that stopped me from ever fully reaching my dream. But back then I didn't mind it. I didn't mind choosing him over my career because. . .

I was in love.

"You were right before," I started strong, "About us needing to break up. We weren't happy the way things were heading and-"

"When did I ever say that?" His eyes shot up looking both puzzled and surprised.

"Well if you can't remember then it shouldn't matter. . ." I tried sliding my hand out, but one small movement had him gripping even tighter. He was angry again. He was pissed. And he was determined to have me relive one of the worst moments of my life. . .

Because he didn't want me to forget.

"It matters to me." He persisted, tightly holding my wrist, "You make it seem like I was purposely trying to cut you out of my life-"

"Weren't you?" I quickly asked.

"Of course not!" He snapped, "Marinette, I don't know what you're talking about but I never wanted you gone. I loved y-"

"Adrien?" A new voice came in. A stranger I thought to be a savior in disguise. That was until we both looked to see that the female blonde standing behind us was someone I had dreaded in ever meeting again. The tall, slim, beauty I had seen only once before. Less than five minutes and yet she played a major role in my decision to leave that very night. . .

"Cheri? What are you doing here?" Adrien asked, though sounding surprised, he didn't seem all that upset with the girl who threw herself into his arms.

"I got the call to be the main female model for their launch." She bragged, flashing a flirtatious smile at the boy who made no effort to push her away, "Let me guess, you're their new face aren't you?"

He laughed quietly, amused by the situation no doubt. Then he looked to me and suddenly that smile fell into a serious expression, "So we'll be working together?" He asked, mainly to me when he decided to gently pull himself away from the other girl.

"Well then. . ." I inhaled slowly, trying not to let their relationship, whatever it was, get to me in anyway, "Sarah made a great choice. You two seem like a perfect fit." I took that opportunity to leave. Not wanting to deal with his moving on, or the many girls he kept hidden from me. I didn't want to think about him with them, or the throbbing pain my chest gave when seeing them standing so close together, because it only reminded me of what a fool I had been all those years. To have thought I actually stood a chance, or could ever be good enough. . .

That was my mistake.

"Marinette, wait. . ." I heard him call for me, almost ready to yank me back if Cheri hadn't decided to speak.

"Marinette? As in Marinette Cheng? The designer?" She asked eagerly, eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

"That's me. Why do you ask?" I turned to her, my voice dull and serious for the model I knew I had no real reason to be upset with. It wasn't her fault that Adrien was good enough to play each girl he came across. She hadn't done anything wrong but fall into his trap. Still I couldn't find it in me to _not_ hate her, to not blame her for what he did, because she still took part in it. . .

"I-I love your work." She spluttered, suddenly looking shy when she brushed a strand of hair to the back of her ear, "I used to have all your stuff shipped in from New York whenever it was on the market. . ."

Guilt. That was what struck me after hearing her confession. She was really no different from me. Just an innocent victim still caught up in the idea of Adrien being the perfect prince. Reality hadn't struck her just yet and it didn't seem like it ever would. She was a model, she was beautiful, she was slim and she believed in perfection. Which is what Adrien appeared to be very close to being. Except he really wasn't. He wasn't perfect, flawless, or charming. . .

He was just really good at pretending.

"Cheri we'll need you for hair and make up!" Someone called from down a hall.

"Coming!" She yelled back, "It was nice meeting you. Let's catch up later Ade." She left after giving him a quick wink. Then she was off to step into her little world where men, fame, money and camera's loved and adored her. She could have anything, she had everything, but most of all. . .

She had him.

"You normally this rude to your models?" Emerald eyes shot down at me. The smile on his face vanished after the other girl disappeared.

"Sorry if I have trouble playing nice with the girl you tried to-" I stopped myself. I didn't want to get into it anymore. I didn't want to remember especially when he was so quick to forget about it himself. "Forget it. Maybe it's best I just pretend it never happened since you clearly can't remember a thing."

"Marinette wait-"

"Netty." Sarah jumped in, grabbing Adrien by his arm before he could even attempt to touch me again, "We'll need him for fitting." She said.

"Go ahead." I waved them off, relieved to get rid of him for a while. She guided him to the stylist at the end of the room, one going through my clothes with a measurement string, pins and needles, all things needed to resize anything that didn't fit. I felt at peace, free, not having to stress about him for the next couple hours of shooting. . . Then I saw the jacket. The one I had made without even bothering to remember something vital to his health.

"Wait!" I shouted, rushing to the woman who pulled out a large, black feathered coat to hand to the model himself, "Not that one. Put it with the female wear." I insisted after taking it from her hands and handing it over to Sarah instead.

"But this was designed for the male sect-"

"I don't recall ever discriminating against gender with my clothing." I cut the other off, noticing the small smile on Adrien's face after choosing to defend him without giving myself away. He was enjoying this, seeing me struggle to come up with a reason for my decision without revealing our past relationship. However that smile did drop when I chose to tell them, "It'll look ten times better on the girl anyway."

If I hadn't made myself suspicious in Sarah's eyes before then I surely had now. There was so much I needed to keep hidden, so much I didn't want the media to get involved with, and one of those things just so happened to be the blonde male standing behind me.

"Netty are you sure you want t-"

"I made my decision." I told the woman who only nodded afterwards and went off to search for Cheri.

"Thanks." Adrien whispered closely to my ear. His breath sending chills down my spine.

"Don't misunderstand." I warned him, serious eyes rolling up to meet his, "I can't have your allergies runining today's shoot. The last thing I need right now is bad publicity if you end up in the hospit-"

"You'll need to remove all jewelry." Said one of the stylist working on his next outfit.

"Sorry, I always forget to take this off." He breathed out a faint laugh and placed a hand on the colorful bracelet on his wrist. I was surprised I hadn't noticed it before. The old piece of jewelry I had given to him back when we were children. The days where simply being acknowledged by him meant more to me than anything. Now, I was eager to get away from him entirely.

"I don't see how you would? It look's like a child's bracelet." I scoffed, arms folded on my chest as he slipped the small piece of jewelry off and into his pocket.

"It does, but I have to keep it on everyday." He shrugged.

"Why's that?" Someone asked from behind. I wasn't sure if it had been the stylist with us or Sarah who later joined in on the conversation, but that didn't really matter. His answer to that question was the only thing that echoed in my head.

"Because it was given to me by the woman I love."

He was playing me. He was trying to get me flustered. Everything and anything he said would always be a lie. I repeated that to myself over and over again even when I left their group. I just didn't understand him. I didn't understand how his brain worked and I didn't think I ever would, but what really scared me was that I couldn't even understand myself.

In my mind he'd always be the enemy. He had hurt me, he had stopped caring, so I couldn't let him toy with me. That was obvious - it was common sense. Yet my heart still raced in hearing those words. Something kept pulling me back no matter how hard I tried to forget it and it hurt me the harder I tried to fight it, because I couldn't _ignore_ it. It wasn't my fault for leaving, it wasn't my fault that he chose to stop loving me, it wasn't. . .

If I'd been given what I wanted I would have stayed, gotten married, and kept my life with him here. But that wasn't the case. He wasn't the same guy anymore and no matter what he did to try and show me otherwise I knew it'd only be an act. If I let myself get carried away then things would end just as badly as it did the first time, and maybe even worse. And if that happened, if I allowed myself to fall for his lies again, believe in anything he had to say, then I knew there'd be no recovering from that. . .

 **Because I wouldn't survive a second heartbreak.**


	9. Chapter 8:A Second Chance At Forgiveness

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **Sorry That I Loved You**

 **(Anthony Neely)**

 ** _And I'm so sorry that I hurt you_**

 ** _Sorry that I fell through_**

 ** _Sorry I was falling in love with you_**

 ** _I'm sorry that it came true_**

 ** _But sorry doesn't turn back time_**

 ** _For all that I have done to you_**

 ** _I wish that I could make it right_**

 ** _So sorry that I loved you_**

 ** _Sorry that I needed you_**

 ** _Sorry that I held you tight. . ._**

* * *

 **Chapter 8: A Second Chance At Forgiveness**

 **( Adrien )**

There it was. The key to solving all my problems. It sat in the pocket of my coat hanging by the door. If I had at least five minutes alone with her I knew I could get her to understand. I could show her how I felt and get her to see that nothing had changed between us, not even in the three years she'd been gone. I just needed to talk to her. But that was beginning to feel like an impossible request after witnessing her many escapes in trying to avoid me. She didn't want to see me, hear me, or even look at me - and it ticked me off. Especially after all she'd been trying to do, placing the blame on me for everything. Even if she had been right, even if I had messed up, I wasn't the only one at fault. . .

"Hey you're the Agreste kid, right?" A new voice stepped in. One of the other male models undressing for his next photo. A rookie, a noob, and a cocky one at that.

"Who's asking?" I glanced back at the kid who had only decided to speak when the stylist left the room.

"Jackson, sir." He greeted with a fake smile, one that looked all too forced as he extended his hand out to me, "It's an honor to meet you. I know you've been in the biz for a while now."

"No biggie." I shrugged, shaking his hand before I began unbuttoning my shirt.

"Figured as much. Life must be pretty easy riding on daddy's coattail all these years, everything being pretty much handed down to you. . ." There was a pause. He was waiting for my eyes to meet with him. He was testing me, provoking me, trying to get me mad, because he wanted to make something clear. He was no fan, no admirer, just a determined competitor.

"Don't take it the wrong way." He laughed, "I mean if you got connections might as well use 'em right?"

"That's one way to look at it." I nodded after tossing my shirt over on an empty chair as the other admired his reflection in the mirror.

"So I noticed you and the designer chatting it up earlier. . ." The mention of her had my head whipping back, "Anything going on between you two?" He asked.

 _Yes_. That was the answer I wanted to give. I wanted to claim her as my own once again. I wanted it with everything that I was, every breath that I took, and every beat of my heart. I wanted her more than anything. . . but it was only me. My answer, my feelings, I was the only one attached to them. Though I was certain I could get her back, I had no right to lie. . .

Because she was still far out of my reach.

"No, just making conversation." I simply said.

"Oh. That's good." He moved past me to get a better look at his face in the mirror, "because I thought she was pretty hot."

Jaw clenched, green eyes glowing, and like smoke from a fire - I was choking. Jealousy. Envy. Hate. All of it combined when hearing him share his grotesque thoughts of her. The thoughts of another seeking her affection. The idea that they stood a better chance at getting her than I did. . .

I hated it.

"You did, huh?" I cleared my throat and casually moved for the clothing that hung on hangers in the dressing room. Her clothing, her ideas, her creations - it all came from her.

"Yeah. I might even try chatting with her today too." He mentioned confidently, my anger slipping out as fingers gripped and wrinkled the sleeves of her designs, "Who knows? Maybe I'll catch her number and get a little action toni-"

It happened so quickly. My anger, jealousy, it blinded me for the few seconds it took to grab and slam the other into the wall. My arm pressed against his throat, the other used to keep him pinned against his will. It disgusted me. It made me cringe at the very thought of any man placing there hands on my princess. She was perfection, she was innocent, she was gentle. No other could even compare to her greatness. Yet there were still people, just like him, who sought to taint her with their filth. Her, the woman I loved, the woman I'd always love, now and forever. . .

 _My Sweet Marinette._

"Go ahead. Try. I _dare_ you." I threatened, my killer instincts clear to the other who stared with fear in his eyes, "But If you lay a hand on her I'll be sure to scratch up that pretty face of-"

"Adrien!" Someone yelled from the door. A voice that had us both turning in the same direction. Channel seven's anchor woman, ladybug's number one fan, and her best friend. . .

"Alya?" My hand's immediately dropped the other who collapsed on the floor to breathe.

"Might I have a word?" The fire in her eyes burned brighter than my own, and she instantly had me regretting my behavior toward the kid who went rushing out of the room seconds later.

I tried to play it cool. I laughed to hide my nerves, though it didn't change the seriousness she carried on her face. And after she stepped in and locked the door shut, it was clear that she wasn't here to fool around. She was here to settle things alone, with me, for whichever reason troubled her.

"So, what brings you-" My voice was cut off and replaced by a new sound. One that echoed in the small room we stood in. The loud smack of her hand meeting my face. It stung. It annoyed me. But I had no right to fight back. I knew her reason for doing so, and it was deserved. The only problem I had with it was that she wasn't the one I wanted to receive it from. The one who had every right to blame me, hate me, curse me, or hit me was _Marinette_. . .

But she wasn't brave enough to do it just yet.

"She isn't an object. Don't go around acting like you own her." She threatened. My shame preventing me from even looking into her eyes.

"I'm sorry. . ."

She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest, "Now before I say anything more I need you to confirm something for me."

"What?" I turned to the hazel eyed girl who's anger only then dimmed slightly.

"Mind giving me an inside interview for The MDC campaign?" She whispered, leaning in closely so that a certain blue eyed female wouldn't hear us.

"Uh, sure." I scratched my head, "If Marinette's cool with it."

"Good. Now, moving on." She nodded once, unfolded my arms, and again slapped me hard across the face. This time I was mad. The first made sense, the second only confused me. She had already made her statement involving Marinette quite clear, but this. . .

"What the hell was that f-"

"That was for Nino." His face flashed in my head after hearing his name. She had managed to do it. She had successfully dropped me into a much smaller box to sink into my never ending sea of guilt. I was drowning. I was falling apart. All because of that one realization. My actions, my slip ups, my behavior - they were ruining me and everyone around me. But I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't know how to get better without her by my side. My light, my guidance, she was suppose to be there to differentiate the difference between right and wrong, because without her. . .

I was lost.

"He's gonna be okay, right?" I asked, my hand then reaching up to rub my burning cheek.

"Physically, yes." She gave a swift nod, "The bruise on his face will heal. The one in his heart well. . ." A professional guilt tripper. That's who she was. I had already felt bad enough, I didn't need her reminding me of my mistakes. But even so. . . I had no right to be upset with her.

"I didn't mean for things to go the way they did. He's my best friend I never. . ."

"I know." She sighed, slowly stepping back to take a seat, "But I don't get what you're trying to pull with the whole Marinette situation. The girl's trying to build a business here Adrien, and a life of her own. Why can't you let her-"

"Let her go?" I laughed quietly, turning my back to her as my eyes met with the copy in the mirror, "That's the last thing I'll ever do."

"Adrien she want's to move on. You owe it to her to at least let her try to-"

"I can't!" I screamed, irritated by the same lecture given to me by everyone else. Everyone but _her_. "I love her Alya. Ring or no ring, that's never going to change. There's nothing you two can say or do that'll ever make me stop."

"Then why'd you hurt her? Why'd you kick her out?"

"I didn't!" I snapped. I was pissed, I was angry at the idea she kept putting in everyone else's head. But that anger did cease. It fell quiet because I myself was still confused with the events that took place on the night of her disappearance. "I don't think I did anyway. . ."

"What does that me-"

"I know I hurt her." I tried to explain, secretly hoping that my memory would somehow return if I shared what I could remember out loud, "but I was so frustrated and drunk. All I remember are bits and pieces of us arguing."

"You can't even remember?" She judged me with her eyes. I could see them in the reflection of the mirror. Disappointment, shock, and more anger. It was all there.

"I left her alone that night because I was scared I'd hurt her even more if I stayed, but when I sobered up enough to go back she was already gone. . ."

She groaned loudly and stepped out of her chair, "You're both acting like children. One gets drunk and makes a mess while the other leaves without bothering to resolve the issue."

"I just need to understand what it was that made her leave." I persisted.

"And then what? What'll you do when you find out the truth? Will you finally leave her alone?"

"Of course not." I quickly answered. "Once she tells me I'll know exactly how to go about winning her back."

"Adrien. . ." She sighed heavily, rubbing her forehead at my undying effort.

"Alya please. . ." I turned back with pleading eyes, "She may be your best friend, but she's also mine. She's the love of my life. Don't make me give up on her. . ."

She didn't say anything. She stared for a long moment. She watched me, studied me, with arms folded over her chest. She was trying to understand the truth in my words. She was trying to pick out the lies, but when she saw there was none she sighed in defeat and turned for the door.

"I'll talk to her. See what I can do. Just try keeping your distance for now."

"No promises." I replied.

"Adrien." She glared back.

"I can't help it. When I'm with her I just lose myself. . ."

She shook her head and unlocked the door to leave, "Just try not to push things too far, okay?" She muttered quietly. Her final warning before leaving the room.

I collapsed on a stool to stable my breathing. I wasn't sure if she'd be of any help to me, if she understood me, or was even on my side. But I didn't need them to win her back. Even if it took me a century I wouldn't quit until I had her back in my arms. Nothing and no one could ever change that. Even as I sat down, staring at myself in the mirror, drowning in depressing thoughts, the same desire surfaced in my head.

 _I want to see her again._

Just her. No one else. Nothing else. I wanted to see her just like before. During the time where I could easily sneak a peek at her smiling face at any second of the day. I wanted to hold her again, kiss her, touch her. I wanted to show my love to her in every way that I could. I just wanted to make her mine again. I wanted to _belong_ to her again. I wanted to embrace everything that she was and had always been. Greatness, perfection, flawless. . .

 _My_ Princess.

"Ade!" Someone called as a set of arms rushed to embrace me. They were long, soft and slender, making it easy on me to define as to who they belonged to. The blonde who I'd been hoping to avoid all morning.

"Cherie. . ." I tried making the situation less awkward with a quiet laugh. But there was no controlling Cherie. She was a fiery one, dominant and possessive. She was trying to own me again by forcing her lips on mine. That was who she was. Take whatever she desired, throw away what didn't interest her. It was that personality that drew me in, in the past, but things were different now. I wasn't naïve, lonely, or foolish. I had already experienced the loss of the woman I loved, and I wasn't going to risk that again with a stunt like this.

"I've missed you. . ." She blew in my ear, tiny kisses planted as her lips travelled down my neck.

"Cher, stop." I managed to say after pushing her off, "We can't do this anymore."

"Why not? It's only been a year since we last. . ." Her words came to a sudden stop. A creak, a gasp, and wide eyes staring at the doorway. We were both caught off guard by her sudden entrance. Now, of all times, she chose to come in during a situation I wanted no part in. At this point, I felt pretty sure that God himself was trying his very best to keep us apart. Why else would he guide her in that very moment. . .

"Marinette." I immediately separated myself from the other blonde when my eyes met with deep blue ones. They were dull, emotionless even. There wasn't any anger, surprise, or pain, none of it when she spotted us. The situation had no effect on her at all, because I. . .

I meant nothing to her.

"Miss Dupain-"

"We need Cherie on set." She explained to the girl standing beside me, her hand swiftly waving for her to head down the hall, "The photographer wants to see you."

"Of course, ma'am." She nodded, glancing back at me with another of her flirtatious grins before she went rushing out.

"You're free to leave now, Mister Agreste." She dismissed, before following after the other model. Toneless, expressionless, like she no longer gave any care about me at all. That's what I felt when she spoke to me.

It was hopeless. Nothing I did or said made a difference. She hated me. She _really_ hated me and for _what_ I'll never know - and that pissed me off. I'd been the only one trying here, even during those years of neglect, it was I who had put in all the effort. She hadn't cared about me now or then, and I was tired of guessing.

 _Why_ and _When_ she stopped loving me was something I needed to know. If I didn't then I'd go insane with my never-ending theories. Now that she was here, in front of me, there was no way I could let her go without an answer. . .

"Marinette wait!" I rushed out to take her arm, "It's not what you think."

"What isn't?" She glanced back, staring not at my face but at the hand holding her back from leaving.

"Cherie came on to me, okay? I didn't kiss-"

"Why are you explaining yourself to me? I'm your boss not your relationship advisor." She scoffed, twisting her arm to break from my grip. Once free she tried to casually leave without causing a scene. But that was inevitable. I wasn't letting her go again, I wasn't letting her leave, not this time. So I took her again, and this time I was determined to keep her with me 'till I got what I wanted.

"I just don't want you to get the wrong idea." I tried to explain.

"Adrien, I've known you for years. It's no secret that you've always been a huge flirt."

"Don't make it sound like I'm some obnoxious player."

"I have no right to label you," She sighed with a bored look in her eyes, "But if I could, a player would only be _half_ of what you really are to me."

There it was. It sparked only for a second but I saw it all in those sapphire eyes. Anger. Hate. All of it built up and ready to come bursting out. That was what I wanted. What she needed to release, even if she refused to let it out, it was what _I_ needed to see. Those feelings, the pain, the negativity she'd been harboring in her heart, that was where the answers lurked. The answers she refused to share with me. . .

"What are you do-!?" She tried to yell when I yanked her back inside, but my hand quickly stopped any sound from escaping her lips. The door was locked shut, the room was empty, no one to disturb us in or out, and finally. . .

We were alone.

"I'm just having a serious conversation with the woman who keeps trying to avoid me." I answered after removing my hands off of her.

"Open the door." She commanded quietly, reaching for the knob behind me.

"No." I pushed her hand away.

"Adrien open the-"

"Not happening." I repeated after blocking the exit.

She was mad. That was good. It was funny even. So much that I couldn't help but smile at how irritated she looked at me. Of course, I would have much rather preferred to see her smiling like before. But we weren't at that stage yet. And until we finally got there I wasn't letting her out of my sight.

"Would you quit being so annoying!" She huffed.

"This isn't annoying." I frowned, " _This_ is annoying." My quick thinking and movements had me rubbing my head against her chest. She was confused. Which was good on my part, because I had her exactly where I wanted her to be.

"W-What are you doing?" She stepped back.

"Waiting for my lady to pet me." I winked, my eyes catching the light blush forming in her cheeks before she tried shoving me away.

"Would you quit it already!" She screamed, her palm digging into my face. That was my opening. I took her hand and had her body crash into the corner. My arms blocking each side so that she couldn't run from me. She was trapped. Just me, just her, just us and that's how it would be until she'd decide to finally open up to me.

"Not until we settle this."

"There's nothing left for us to-"

 _No more waiting._ That was the only thing my brain kept whispering before her lips were assaulted by my own. All because I was tired of _waiting_. It was reckless, unnecessary, and there was no doubt that it made things even worse. . . but I couldn't resist. My plan was to keep her from leaving, but having her so close to me, inches away from my face, it had me craving to taste the sweetness of her lips again. But she did fight me. She fought to pull away, to escape, but the only reason I let her go was to catch our breath. If it hadn't been for that then I would have spent the rest of eternity kissing those soft, tender lips.

"What are you doing!?" She shouted with her head turned to the side.

"Why!?" I roughly shook her, finally getting her attention once she noticed the desperation in my voice, "Why are you so eager to throw me away now, Marinette?" Her image blurred as tears began to form. My shame bringing my head to fall and rest on her shoulder. It was humiliating enough being rejected this many times by her after everything I'd tried. . . but I had hoped she would listen. I had hoped that her heart would still have room for me. . .

But there didn't seem to be any at all.

I enjoyed the sound of her heart beat. So much that I held my breath just to let it fall in sync with hers again. At least that way we'd still be connected. If not like before, than like this, because that was all I wanted. To be tied to her, held by her, loved by her. . .

I just wanted to be connected to her again.

"What happened to the girl who couldn't leave my side, huh? The girl who was ready to follow me to the ends of the earth-"

"You broke her. . ." Her whispers had my head slowly moving up to look at her. There were tears again, very little, but they were there. Despite her efforts to keep them hidden, or wipe them clean, I held her arms down so that I could see them myself. . . because they were proof of her feelings for me. The ones she used to have. . .

When she was mine.

"She grew up when she realized that fantasies and happy ending's can't exist, even with her prince charming. . ."

That was me. She referred to me as her prince, the one that had failed to protect her, cherish her, or make her feel like what she'd always been all along - my princess. Somewhere along the way we'd lost that, how or when was still uncertain to me. . . but we were both to blame for it.

"Do you hate me now?" I choked after letting my hands fall, "If you do then say it already. Just be honest with-"

"I never hated you Adrien. . ." She sniffed, wiping away tears that had managed to slide, "No matter how much I wish I could, I can't. . ."

"Why? Marinette, what happened that night? Please, just tell me why you-"

"It doesn't matter any-"

"It does to me!" I screamed, gripping her shoulders to shake her gaze back to me, "Marinette, you have no clue what that did to me! I spent weeks searching for you because I was scared that. . ." Even the thought of it gave me chills. The thought of another finding her corpse somewhere in the streets of Paris. The guilt I felt in failing to protect her if anything had happened to her that night. It scared me to the point where I couldn't sleep. It drove me insane not hearing anything from anyone, being the only person left in the dark. . .

It wasn't fair.

"Why couldn't you have at least called? Anything but that stupid note would have been fine with-"

"What choice did I have after what you did to me!" She shoved me off with all her strength, the intensity of it making me stumble back a few spaces before I caught my balance, "What was I suppose to do Adrien? It's not like you ever cared whenever I left the house before?"

"How can you say that?"

"Because it's true!" There was a pause. A long, uncomfortable silence that she broke with a chilling laugh. She wasn't happy, there were still tears, but she kept on laughing. Not because she was amused by any of it, but because she was trying to heal herself. . .

Because she didn't want to remember.

"Let's face it, we were always busy. I didn't think you'd notice if I ever walked through that door again. . ."

"Marinette, we were _engaged_!"

"Don't pull the engagement card on me! That _never_ mattered to you!" She snapped, pushing me back every time I tried getting closer.

"Of course it did!"

"Then why'd you bring her over that night!?" She pointed to the door, confusion striking me hard. How was I suppose to understand anything she said when she was making it so difficult for me to comprehend. . . "Did you seriously think I wouldn't recognize her? Or how close you two got when you thought I wasn't looking?"

" _Cherie_?" That was my only guess. She was the only woman, other than Alya, who had come in to see me, "What does Cherie have to do with -"

 _"Everybody get out of my house!"_

I moved back when the sound of her voice began to echo in my ears. Memories, images, flashing instantly in my skull. A hallucination was my first thought, but then it kept going. More images, more voices, arguments that seemed familiar yet new to me in my head. The heavy liquor, the guests, Cherie, dancing in our underwear. . . and the look on Marinette's face. . . It was all coming back to me.

 _"Why are you doing this?"_

 _"I just thought I'd kill some time with a few friends from work."_

 _"Then go bowling, go to the movies, mini golfing, but don't go bringing girls in here to flirt with behind my back!"_

 _"It's my house, I'll invite whoever I want."_

 ** _"I thought this was_ our _home."_**

There was more. There had to be more, I was sure of it but my brain just wasn't processing anything else. I had to remember. I needed _her_ to make me remember.

"You didn't seem to care about being engaged when she was there." She stared into me, through me, like I wasn't even there. . . because she was lost in her own memories of that night.

"Marinette I can expla-"

"Don't bother." She moved further away, her back pressed against the wall as tears managed to fall.

"She mean's nothing to me!" I shouted, holding her up by her arms after noticing her legs shaking terribly. "Listen, the only reason I called them up that night was because of what you did first."

" _Me_?" She squinted, confused and insulted by something she still didn't remember herself.

" _Our Anniversary_." That was when her confusion dropped. "All that wine, the fireplace, the candle lit dinner - it was all for _you_. I waited for you to come home for hours but you never did because. . ."

"Because I was _working_!" She said scornfully.

"See! That right there! Always putting your career before me in _everything_! That's why I invited them and got drunk in the first place. . ." I stopped myself. She was hurting enough and so was I, but arguing wasn't what I had been hoping to pull from this conversation. We were both to blame, and that could be settled later, but right now I just needed to remember everything, all of it, so that I could understand all the _'Why's'?_

"Mari it was just a misunderstand-"

"A misunderstanding or not you didn't care." She shrugged, turning her head away to avoid looking at me, "But I'm actually glad you got drunk that night. I'm glad we broke up, because if we hadn't I never would have been able to hear how you truly felt or ever had the courage to leave. Kinda like a blessing in disguise really. . ."

"Marinette I screwed up." I breathed, reaching down to take her hand again, "But I never wanted to hurt you. Don't you see how hard I'm trying here? All because I'm still in love with-"

"Don't say it!" Her screams pierced my heart as she took her hands away to place over her ears. Her actions were too much. I would have much rather heard her tell me she hated me than see her refuse to acknowledge my feelings at all. She didn't want me around, she didn't want to care about me at all, and that hurt even more. . . but I wasn't giving up.

I took her wrists and fought to pull them away just as hard as she did to keep them on her ears. But she needed to hear this, she needed to understand that my feelings hadn't change, nothing had. Despite the age, our careers, our choices - my love for her had remained the same. And it would forever stay that way in this life. . .

And even in the next.

"I'm still in love with you!" I screamed it out without any shame or fear after I had managed to take her hands, "I never stopped. . ."

The littlest things. It was the littlest things she did that tugged at my heart strings. The quivering of her lips, the shuddering breaths, the tear-filled eyes, the way she looked at me as if she craved to die. . . those were the littlest things that hurt me. I ached all over. The pain shot from in my chest to every inch of my body, because she wasn't listening. No matter what I said or did, she didn't believe me. . .

Because she was still scared.

"Please don't lie to me. . ." She gave up in fighting to escape and instead rested her head on my chest, "We both know that you stopped loving me a long time ago."

"Marinette I never-"

"Alcohol doesn't make people lie, Adrien! It only enhances the truth. . ." Her tears fell on me. The feel of her on my skin, witnessing her pain, it flooded my heart with mixed emotions. But the questions were relentless, eating away at me the longer she took to explain.

"What are you talking about?" I tried shaking her shoulders, but still she refused to answer. Instead I placed both hands on the side of her face and forced her to look at me. The pained look in her eyes making it clear that I was only seconds away from uncovering the truth. . . "Marinette, what did you mean by-"

"You said it yourself Adrien. . ." She forced a smile before gently pushing my hands away, " _I'm just not in love with you anymore._ Those were your exact words. . ."

"That. . . That's impossible. I would never-"

"Then why did you? Why'd you look me straight in the eyes and say it!?" She slammed her fist into my chest. The impact knocking all the air out of my lungs. Still, I stayed still. I let her do it. I let her hit me like she should have done that night instead. Knocked some sense or sobriety into me rather than choosing to leave. . .

I didn't want to believe it, but it was clear she wasn't lying. This was what should have gone down instead. I should have stayed there, I should have let her scream at me, hit me, done whatever she needed. . . because it was my fault. All of it was my fault. And now I finally understood what she meant all along. After everything she'd done for me, all that I'd taken away from her, her family, her career, I had kept her locked away for years because I was scared to lose her and yet she never complained. She kept by my side, worked her hardest just to be close to me. . . and I had betrayed her. . .

I deserved all of this.

Her fists eventually slowed as she lost the strength to fight. Once they dropped I caught them in my hand to let her breathe. She was tired, she was overworked, weak, and now she was in pain. . . because of me. Because of everything I had done. Not even a simple I'm sorry would fix this. . .

"You were never the commitment type." She started with a whisper as she gradually moved to find my gaze, "You just needed someone to keep you company at night, it didn't matter who-"

"That's not true!" I pulled her forward.

"Your records show otherwise." She stated tonelessly, eyes showing no emotion at all once again. Like a corpse, she was dead inside. . . and that hurt me even more. "The news reports, magazines, it's no secret how many women you've been fooling around with since I've been gone."

"That. . ." I had no excuse. She was right, though I didn't want to admit it. The second she left I had gone searching for just that, a replacement, someone, anyone, that reminded me of her in anyway, just to stick by me. But only those that reminded me of her. . . because without her I had nothing. Even now, being this close to her I still felt lost. . . because she was still out of my reach.

"My point exactly." She yanked her arm back and shoved past me to leave, but my feet quickly followed to keep the door shut.

"Yeah well you're one to talk. You and Nathaneal seemed pretty comfortable last night." I finally said it. It'd been eating me up since the other night. I brought their relationship into the light, but I wanted nothing more but to take it back. Not just because I was scared to hear her answer, but because I had no right to argue. I just couldn't control myself. The man I'd become wasn't me, just an imposter taking over while I sat back and watched. . .

I had no control over myself at all.

"That's different."

"How?" My mouth kept talking, trying to pry into her business even when I knew it was wrong. And then she glared at me. That's when I knew I'd really messed up.

"Because I didn't go screwing him or half the country the second we broke up."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "You expect me to believe that after all these years, you haven't been with anyone other than-"

"I'm not expecting you to believe anything. But that's the truth. . ." She placed her hand on the knob and let her eyes drop to the floor, "I loved you. I really loved you, Adrien. So much that I couldn't imagine myself with any other man or. . ." She didn't finish that sentence, but I knew exactly where she was going with it. If I hadn't felt awful enough before than I surely had now.

All these years she'd been working to succeed in her career, while I'd been taking on job after job and the occasional meeting with a new girl every now and then. Compared to her I was nothing but dirt. She was still so innocent, so pure, and so perfect. Like snow, white inside and out, she was the kid that wanted nothing more but to belong to me. Even in those three years apart, she had still wanted that. But she was ready to let go of it and here I was still lingering in the past. That was my problem. I needed to move on from that. I needed to stop seeing her as the girl I could always depend on, the sweet princess I had expected to serve me. I always expected her to solve everything, to belong to only me, but I had never once listened to her honestly, because I had only assumed she would agree to anything that I desired. . . and that was my problem. She had matured, aged, she wasn't that girl anymore. She was even better and I needed to accept her for just that. The strong, independent woman that she was. . .

Because that's what made her perfect.

"Netty!" A voice came calling for her down the hall, and that had us both panicking.

"I have work to do." She tried to leave again, but the second she twisted the knob something went off inside me.

I was scared. I was still so scared to lose her. My desperation to keep her taking over as I pushed her against the wall again. My lips forced to taste her, to send my love, to get her to understand my true intentions. But the second our lips re-met I felt nearly seconds away from bursting into tears at the nostalgia of it. I wanted more, I needed more, so much that I had lost myself in the heat of it all.

My hands roamed up her shirt, touching every inch of exposed flesh as I bit and nipped on her bottom lip. A soft whimper was heard, but her efforts in fighting me off were failing. She was weak with passion. She didn't want it to end either, because this was where she was meant to be. Here, with me, always - that was our destiny. We were hungry for more, we desired nothing less but each other in every possible way, and we would have succeeded in that. . .

If we hadn't heard the creaking of the door.

The jiggling of the knob set her off and she kneed me in the groin to remove me from her entirely . I fell to the ground in pain as she walked over me to meet with whoever it was standing by the doorway.

"What's going on?" The assistant to her manager came rushing to my aid. When I opened my eyes to see that it was her and not Marinette, I quickly looked back to find her standing with the woman she referred to as Sarah instead.

"Sarah, you can take care of him, right? I'm not feeling well so I think I should head back to the hotel instead. . ."

"But Netty we still need to-"

"Sorry!" She yelled from down the hall after racing to escape. Her manager and the assistant then left to go running after her, but it was obvious she wasn't coming back. She was gone again. And I had lost my second chance at winning her back. . .

"Felix!" One call was all it took to have him rushing in. The newly assigned bodyguard the agency had picked out for me months ago. But right now, there was only one thing I needed him for and it was this; "Follow that girl."

"But boss that's-"

"Just do it! I'll take full responsibility just. . . just don't let her get away." I begged. He hesitated, eyes shifting from me to the door, before he let out a defeated sigh.

"Yes, sir." Then he was gone. I was sure he'd find her for me. Whatever consequences I'd have to face for it didn't matter, because I was ready for them. . . and everything else.

I laid on the floor, waiting for the pain to cease as my eyes stared at the bulb of lights attached to the mirrors in the room. They would fade occasionally as flashes of images came racing through my head. This time I was ready to remember. The truth helping me realize that the answers had always been there, ready to be made aware, I was just too scared to see it. I was too scared to remember because I knew it'd be easier to blame her, hate her, and play the victim when the real bad guy had been me all along. I knew that. I just wasn't ready to accept it till now. . .

 _"I'm tired of feeling stuck like this when it feels like I'm engaged to a stranger!"_

 _"You don't mean that -"_

 _"Yes I do! Marinette I. . . I'm just not in love with you anymore."_

 _"Then maybe it's time we call it quits."_

 _"That sounds like a great idea."_

 _"Is that what you really want?"_

 ** _"It's what we need. . ."_**

The final piece to the puzzle. It was all coming back to me now. I had chosen to cut her off, I was upset, jealous, because I wasn't getting any of her attention back then. Instead of chasing after her like I'd done during our youth, I chose to separate myself from her. I wanted her to miss me just as much as I missed her, like some kind of contest. She'd cancel on me one night, I'd cancel two more in exchange. I took her for granted and like a spoiled child I had selfishly expected her to put me first before everything else in her life. That was the issue. I never came to her about how I felt, I just let her keep doing it and then punished her for it.

We were strangers. Back then and now, because I had made it so that we felt like just that. Not lovers, not friends, just strangers - all because of my obnoxious ego and that disgusted me. But I wasn't going to throw her away like that ever again. It didn't matter how many days or years it'd take to win her trust back, because I'd spend every second of it doing my best to prove my worthiness to her - because that's what she deserved. Nothing less but perfection.

"Please, don't let me lose her again. . ."

That was all I asked. My only request to God himself. I'd never make her cry again, I'd never let her get upset, and I'd cherish her with every second I had left with her in this life, and even beyond that. . . I just needed a little help. If I had that then I was sure I'd get her back, and once I did. . .

 **I'd never let her stray from me again.**


	10. Chapter 9: Just Be With Me Tonight

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **Tell Me You Love Me**

 ** _Tell me you love me just one time_**

 ** _Just give me one night_**

 ** _So If you fall_**

 ** _Fall into my arms_**

 ** _Come and fall_**

 ** _Break down your walls_**

 ** _And_**

 ** _Tell me you love me one time_**

 ** _I can see the truth in your eyes_**

 ** _Say you will_**

 ** _Forget tomorrow and be with me tonight_**

 ** _Just tell me you love me one time_**

 ** _And this isn't goodbye_**

* * *

 **Chapter 9: Just Be With Me Tonight**

 **( Marinette )**

 _The sun rose early in the morning. The light that creeped in warmed my aching, cold heart—as it had been frozen and still ever since our parting. I had lost him. I had failed him. And now I was sure that I meant nothing more to him… and perhaps I never had. Perhaps it had only been I who had felt committed to our relationship from the start. And if that were true, if I had really been the only one taking it seriously all along, then_ ** _really_** _, the only person to be blamed for any of this…_

 _Is_ ** _me_** _._

 _The depression that followed at the start of our separation left me damaged both in mind and soul, and that was inevitable. But a month went by so quickly—days and weeks without eating. My energy was failing me and I could do nothing to change it on my own…_

 _And I hated it._

 _But I hated myself especially for it. I hated what became of me and_ ** _us_** _because of it, and yet, after all that… I couldn't find it in me to hate_ ** _him_** _. I couldn't because I was too aware of the fact that I had been the only fool to be fooled by the nonsense out of falling in love. I had been ignorant, blind, and naive from the get-go and I couldn't blame him for any of it… because I did it to myself._

 _"Tikki, what time is it?" I muffled into the sheets, hoping to get the attention of the tiny kwami normally resting on the corner of my pillow…_

 _But there was nothing._

 _She was usually there every morning through every night, smiling brightly with optimism, here in the attic room that belonged to the only two that would take me in after leaving Paris—Alya and Nino. And despite how awful I felt after taking up space in their newly owned home in New York, I had no one else I could turn to. I had put in so much effort into proving to my parents that I could make it in Paris on my own, even with Adrien there, just to show them that my future wouldn't turn into dust like they had originally thought. That's why I couldn't go back home to them now. Not just yet at least…_

 _Because I wasn't ready to own up to my failures._

 _"Tikki?" I tried to call out again after having received no reply, but it wasn't like her to keep quiet in the morning. Just last night she was sleeping soundly at my side, nuzzled close to my cheek. And now…_

 _Now she was gone._

 _I jumped out of bed in a panic. It wasn't like her to disappear without a word. She would have said something, done something—anything. She couldn't have just left that way. It wasn't possible, and the very thought of it had me frantically searching the entire house for her, under the mattress's, sheets, closets, laundry baskets - but she was nowhere to be found._

 _"Tikki. . ." I stopped at the corner desk in my room where a tiny red box was once placed. But it was gone. I didn't understand it at first. It didn't make any sense to me, but then,_ ** _eventually_** _, it all clicked._

 _She had abandoned me too._

 _No, actually, if I was being completely honest then it was I who had abandoned her first by refusing to put on the suit again. I declined her true purpose by doing so, and therefore, he had every right to take her back. I just didn't expect it to happen so quickly, and without any warning for that matter. After all the years I put into protecting the city I thought I would at least get the chance to say goodbye, but even that much was taken from me as well. Everything that was once so good and precious to me in the past …_

 _Was now lost to me forever._

 _"Tikki!" I raced for the window, sliding it open to beg for her return, "Tikki, please come back! Please…" My hands touched my naked ear, as it was missing the one piece of jewelry that connected me to her._

 _This proved to me that she was really gone. She was lost to me for good, and I was sure she had chosen to leave with him on her own. The earrings were gone, Tikki, Ladybug, and even Adrien. It was all taken from me…_

 _All because I was no longer worthy._

 _"Oh, Tikki…" I cried, falling to my knees._

 _It happened so suddenly. Everything was falling apart all around me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. And maybe it had always been that way. I had never been good at playing the hero role. I wasn't brave, or strong, or fearless - that had just been part of the act. It was all a façade, all of it._

 _And now it was over._

 _The days of my youth were gone along with all the days I'd spent chasing after Adrien, or battling as Ladybug and Chat Noir, and saving the city, defeating HawkMoth, and even falling in love… that didn't exist anymore. And it almost felt like it never had._

 _Like it had been nothing more than a dream._

 _We went on the adventure of a lifetime. A wild and crazy journey as children. But now it felt like I was finally waking up. The goals I had in mind now, and my career, was all that was left. And that was all I needed to keep me going. It was time to move on, and time to forget, but there was one thing I still wanted to know. One question I hoped she'd one day answer for me, even if it were fifty or seventy years from now, or even at my final breath, I just wanted to know_ ** _when_** _. . ._

 ** _"When did you stop loving me too?"_**

A loud melody played in my ear. It was the ringing of my cellphone that woke me up from yet another repeated memory that came back to me through a dream. And I'm sure it was one of the worst ones, as the tears in my eyes were proof of it….

But those days of my life were over now.

An empty hotel room, velvet walls, golden furniture, everything about my life today seemed grand and spectacular… but I was still alone. My dreams had been achieved, my goals accomplished, and my future was brighter than anything in my past, and yet somehow, everything looked to be so very…

 _Dim_.

I had the money. I had the fame. I had the life that other's could only ever dream about, and yet, I had no one to share it with. Not my parents, or my friends, or a tiny magical creature to enjoy it with… or even a husband to call my own…

I had no one.

"Yes, alya?" I answered, assuming I had no other choice after glancing at the dozens of missed calls she had left me.

"Where are you? I've been trying to reach you for over an hour!"

"What time is it?" I yawned, scratching my head as my eyes searched for the digits on the clock stand.

"About time you should've gotten your butt down here!" She shouted.

And she was right.

It was past eight O'clock. The gallery opening had already started without me, which meant I was beyond late for my promised meeting with Nathaneal, "Crap! I forgot all about-"

"You overslept didn't you?" She tisked.

"No I just. . ." I let out a sigh of defeat, knowing there was no point trying to explain myself. I _had_ overslept. I made the mistake of trying to drown myself in my work to forget about _one_ guy, that I completely forgot about the _only_ guy that was nice enough to make time for me on such an important day. Now, it was a disaster.

 _I_ was the disaster.

"Forget it. Just take your time. No point in rushing now when you're already this late." She whispered into her phone as her irritation lessened.

"He must think I'm such a-"

"Marinette, he's known you since forever. I'm pretty sure he's used to your forgetfulness, clumsiness, and-"

"I get it." I groaned, smacking my head out of shame before kicking the sheets off of me.

"But since we're talking about old friends and the good old days, there's something I've been wanting to ask you about…" The sudden change in her tone was somewhat suspicious. But I paid little attention to it after I caught my reflection in the mirror stand in the corner.

A tiny girl stood there in front of me with long messy hair, dressed in nothing but a pink top and pajama shorts to match. I was a mess. I looked like a mess and I felt like one even more. Which gave me little hope of conjuring up a presentable lady for tonight's event.

"What is it?" I asked after opening my closet door.

"I spoke to Adrien at the studio." I froze. She mentioned his name and everything just stopped. It wasn't something I'd expected to hear about from her, but once it had finally sunk it I swallowed my nerves and tried my best to continue on with the conversation.

"You too?" I tried to laugh.

"Marinette…" She started with a long pause that made me even more nervous, "I know you two aren't on great terms, but would it really be so bad to give him the chance to clear the air? He seems like he genuinely wants to apologize for ev-"

"Alya, I appreciate the concern but I'm in no mood to talk about this right now." I went on with a stern tone, "Tell Nathaneal I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Mar-"

One click. That's all it took to finish it. If only it had been that easy to do three years ago. One click to erase the pain, the heartbreak, and the memories… but there could be no more of that. I didn't have any time to waste on moping over mistakes I made as a kid. I wasn't perfect, and neither was he, and once I came to understand that it was easier to let go. I accepted the facts and the break up, and moved on. I decided that on the day I woke up to a life with no one else to lean on. Not tikki, not Adrien, or my alter-ego… just me. Just me and my career, because that's all I need. Nothing else and no one else…

Just me.

I pulled out a long, shimmering, red gown hanging in the far end of my closet. It was old, but it hadn't been used much. The color reminded me too much of my past, but tonight it felt like the perfect way to forget about it. Ladybug wasn't who I was anymore. Marinette Dupain-Cheng—a world renowned fashion designer was the person I'd become. That's the woman I could proudly state myself as. Nothing more, nothing less. And as I moved to the mirror with the gown in my hand, I could smile knowing that I'd finally made it. I was a success and I had every right to be happy again. I didn't want or need anyone to do that for me…

Especially not Adrien.

"Quit nosing around you brat!" Someone yelled in the hall with a loud thud that followed after. No doubt the sound of a door slamming at whoever it was lurking outside. But of course my curiosity got the better of me, which then guided me to peek out of my doorway to see for myself.

That's when I saw him. A man leaning against the wall carrying a black, leather bag in his hand. His posture made him look almost miserable, but it was difficult to tell by the strands of golden hair that blocked his face. It wasn't until he pushed himself off the wall, and turned to the door to apologize to whoever it was staying in the room next door, that allowed me to get a slightly better visual of his features in the lowly lit hallway.

I'm sure it was a misunderstanding or a mistake of some kind, but whatever it was it had nothing to do with me. At least, that's what I thought until I noticed a pair of emerald green eyes flash in my direction. They spotted my presence instantly, and though his face was difficult to make out from a distance, his eyes made it very clear to me as to who he was. After all, I had spent so many years staring into them and admiring them from afar…

How could I not recognize him?

"Marinette…" He called my name. It came out like a whisper, but I heard it very clearly as it sent my heart thumping vigorously in my chest.

"You've got to be kidding me…"

"Marinette wait!" He rushed over with a hand out to hold the closing door I had desperately tried to shut. But he only managed to keep it open by a few inches, and yet, even that much of his face was difficult for me to see up close.

"Go away!" I screamed, cursing my fate, god, and the universe for leading me into yet another dead-end. I didn't want this. I didn't want to see _him_. It killed me to have to deal with him at work, but this, the one place I thought he would never find me at…

There was no way I'd survive _this_ confrontation.

"Not until you talk to me!" He persisted, pushing with all his strength to be let in as I did the same to keep him out.

"I don't want to see you, Adrien!" I stated clearly, praying for once he'd listen and do so. But he didn't seem to fully understand how forcing himself on me made me feel. It hurt more and more each time. It made me start to question myself and the doubts I had buried three years ago.

"I'm not leaving 'till you hear me out!" He screamed out loud, pushing his way in till it was impossible to beat him with my strength. His force made me stumble back and trip over my own two feet. I was falling, which wasn't surprising as I had always been the kind of ladybug to fall into the web of misfortune. He was the lucky one, though. He'd always been the lucky one, blessed at birth. The kind of black cat born with a good luck charm…

 _Ironic, don't you think?_

I was only inches away from hitting the floor when he caught me. Just like before, just like in the past—always. Be it as Ladybug or Marinette, he was ready to drop in and save me at anytime back then. Up until the very end, when saving me must have seemed like too much trouble, I guess…

So he walked away instead.

"How did you even find me?" I pushed him off.

"I had help." That's all he said before he locked the door behind him.

"I'm calling the cops." I reached for my phone, hoping it would be enough to get him to leave. But instead of running, he jumped forward to snatch the device on my bed before my hand could even touch it.

"Can't do that, My lady." He smirked after sliding my phone into his back pocket, "You're already under house-Agreste."

"You think this is funny!?" I shouted, shoving him back hard, but all it did was have him stumble a few steps backwards.

"Alright, so my comedic timing still needs some work… but just give me five minutes, _please_." He begged as he scrummaged through his leather bag.

"Adrien I'm not kidd-"

The sound of papers falling caught my attention as he flipped the bag upside down. Piles of magazine pages and articles fell and glided through the air before they landed on the floor. He quickly emptied it all out and left the pages scattered at our feet. But they were all centered on him. The scandals, the rumors, and the various shots of women he was spotted with…

"What is this?" I asked, irritated by the mess, but even more by the images of girls he'd been photographed with all over the city.

"Check yourself." He pointed to the floor, "You were right. I did spend most of my nights with different women after you left."

"I don't have to listen to this." I scoffed, trying to mask my pain as I kicked the pieces of paper out of my way to escort him out. He knew I didn't want to be involved with any of this, or with any aspect of his life, but he was still trying to torment me with all of it. He wanted to hurt me and mock me, _just_ for his own amusement… and I couldn't take it anymore.

Because _he_ wasn't the same anymore.

"But I didn't fool around with just anyone—" He grabbed my arm and forced me to re-examine the photos, "Blue bell eyes and hair as dark as night…" He said breathlessly, gently pulling me closer to the photos of girls staring back at me, "I didn't sleep with them to get _over_ you. I met with them because I thought I could _replace_ you. But none of them ever felt right, M. There was always something missing, something off, so I kept searching because… because I couldn't find _you_."

Majestic green eyes tore into me, burning my lungs as they pierced my heart. But those broken promises and false vows that formed into the lie we once called love wasn't something I could rely on anymore. He couldn't be trusted. No matter what he said, or did to try and prove otherwise - it wouldn't be enough… because it wouldn't be _real_.

I tried to remember that. I just had to keep reminding myself because if I didn't I knew I'd get swept in again. And that wasn't an option for me anymore, because if it was it would've meant that I had wasted three years on my own for nothing… and I couldn't do that. Not after making it this far…

There was no way I could turn back now.

"I don't have time for this. I have someone waiting for me." I tried to pull away, but that only made him tighten his grip. He had to keep holding on because he couldn't let go. Not because he wanted to, or because he loved me, but because he didn't know _how_ to. I had been the only one to figure out a way to do so, but Adrien… he was still stuck back there.

He was still living in the past.

"You're dressed in sleepwear. I doubt it's anything worth the rush." He said as he eyed me from head to toe.

"I overslept."

"As usual."

"Just get out!" I yelled, shoving him towards the only exit in the room—the door. However, the window seemed like a pretty good option too. If not him then for me, because I wasn't sure I could tolerate his behavior another second.

"You don't believe me." He nodded to himself before taking my hand, "I get that. I get why you're scared and why you think you can't trust me-"

"Then leave!" I snapped.

"But I know I can fix this if you just listen—"

"There's no _fixing_ this." I hissed as I struggled to break his hold.

"Yes there is." He whispered before reaching for something in his back pocket, "Because I have proof."

My cellphone. Well, my old one at least. A pink mobile device I had used during our time as a couple. He pulled it out and held it high up in the air to show me, like it was some kind of precious artifact. But why he brought it over made very little sense to me. Although, I was slightly curious as to how he had managed to find it after all these years…

"Where did you-"

"You left it at my place when you moved out." He was right. It was coming back to me. After the hurt of his betrayal I chose to leave it behind. I threw it across the room and I watched it crash against the wall. I thought it'd be useless to bring along after that… but why keep it? Surely with his inheritance, fixing it up wouldn't have cost much but… but why? Why even bring it over? Why hold onto it after all these years? After what he said that night? After what he did?

 _Why?_

"Why do you still have that?" Out of all the questions floating around in my head, that one felt like the only appropriate one to ask, given our situation.

"Well, I was the one paying the phone bills back then, so it _is_ under my name… " He prompted, tapping the screen as a small smile spread on his lips, "And your voicemail was the only way I could listen to you speak…"

He was doing it again. He was trying to sway me with his words. But I wasn't falling for it. I knew his games better than anyone, and that also meant I knew how to outsmart him too…

"Why'd you bring it here?" I stayed serious, trying to maintain a steady tone.

"You know, I didn't go home for weeks after you left. I searched for days and nights, because you wouldn't answer this _stupid_ thing…"

"Your point?" I tried to show little to no interest by masking my emotions with a dull expression. But if I were being completely honest, I did feel guilty. How I left, how it ended, it was wrong on my part to have disappeared without a word. Maybe even childish…

I should have been braver, or stronger, but I was scared. I was young and weak, and I thought that if I stayed there he'd try to charm me with sweet words that would've just kept me chained to that house forever. I felt trapped. I was stuck in a world that he created for us, abiding to his schedule and his rules. I _needed_ to leave. That wasn't a mistake, but _how_ I left…

That was what I truly regretted.

"The messages I left you. They date back from the very night you left…" He tapped the screen several times, searching for something before he placed it on the center of a coffee table in the room, "If you can't believe me now, then maybe you'll believe the me you left three years ago…" His eyes left mine after he pressed play. There was static at first, the sound of a thunderstorm in the background, and then…

Then there was him.

 _You have Seven unheard messages._

 _"Marinette, please pick up the phone."_ He was begging, panting, and sniffling, and it was obvious to me that he had been crying. His voice was hoarse and groggy, and you could hear it shaking as he tried to speak, due to the low temperature of the rain, _"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to screw up our night I just… please just come home."_

 _End of Message._

 **Beep.**

He clicked a button to move onto the next recording. But the shimmer in his eyes made it very clear to me that he was fighting back tears, and yet, he refused to look at me as the messages played on. I almost didn't want to hear it after seeing him that way. My sanity yelled at me to throw them both out. But something kept clinging onto hope. It begged for me to let them stay, just to be sure.

 _"Mari just talk to me, please, I'm begging you."_ He was crying this time, sobbing his heart out over the phone, _"I'll do whatever you want, I swear. I'll get you those roses, those fireworks, all of it - just please come home!"_ It ended with a scream and the sound of glass crashing. He was drunk. He had been drinking again, even though it had been his drinking that started this whole mess in the first place…

So how was I suppose to trust him?

 **Beep.**

 _"Why are you doing this?"_ The next message came in a whisper, he was speaking so quietly this time that it was barely audible. It pained me to hear it. Every word, every breath, it made my every heartbeat ache. But I didn't show it. I didn't let him see me wince or twitch, even if he refused to look at me. " _What did I do? Please just tell me so I can fix this…_ ** _please?_** _"_ It ended in screams again. Then it was over.

 **Beep.**

 _"Three days… it's been three day's Marinette."_ I heard him give out a somber laugh out of agony as he continued, _"Where are you? Please, talk to me, I can't sleep if I don't know you're safe. You don't have to pretend like everything's okay just tell me you're not in any danger. That's all I wanna know. Please…"_

 **Beep.**

I swallowed hard. I tried my best to fight the tears but it was hard seeing him looking so miserable. I wanted to run to him, and hold him, and make it so that he wouldn't hurt anymore. But I restrained myself from doing so, because if I did then I'd be giving in… and I wasn't ready to do that just yet.

 _"Seven days. Marinette I haven't seen you in seven days."_ He sighed, _"How long are you planning on keeping this up? Do you hate me that much? If you do then tell me! Scream at me or something, but please… I just need to hear your voice again."_ There was a long moment of silence, but the recording was still running. The sound of his breathing was still audible and it sent chills down my neck… but then he ended the call with this, _"I promise I'll do better this time. I'll do anything you want, I'll marry you right now if you just come back home to me. I'll take you anywhere you wanna go… just talk to me. I just want you to talk to me, please…"_

 **Beep.**

He looked up at me, finally meeting my eyes as his took on a glassy gleam just as tears began to fall. He was doing it on purpose. He was trying to make me feel guilty. He wanted to force the bad guy role onto my shoulders so that he could play the victim again….

And it was working.

Even as he wiped those tears away and shook his head to put on a sad smile, I knew he was still hurting. All because of me, because of my mistakes and my actions. I can't say that what he did to me was right, or that leaving was wrong…

But I do know that I am to blame for all of it.

 _"Day fifteen. I'm staying at the Le Grand Paris hotel. If you're nearby please meet me in room 214."_ He stopped to sip another bottle of booze, and you could hear in the recording as he swallowed it down, _"I know how much you hate seeing people get drunk, and I know how much you love coming to the rescue, so feel free to save me whenever you want. Not like I have anything better to do. I can't even sleep without seeing your face in my dreams, and I always feel worse when I wake up and you're not here. So please, princess… come back to me. I'll be waiting for you."_

 **Beep.**

 _You have One final Message._

This was it. This was the last of it and I could tell it wasn't going to be good. His posture shifted and his feet took a slight turn as he prepared himself to listen along with me. There was an uneasiness in his face, like he was dying to leave the room for just a moment… but he stopped himself. He needed me to listen and I needed to hear it for myself. I needed to hear the voice that never got to reach me in the first year of our parting. I _had_ to because…

Because I felt like I owed him that much.

 _"Twenty one days and now I know… I know you're not coming home."_ He whispered into the phone, _"I know you'll never hear this, but you were right to leave. I don't deserve you. I never did. I never should have taken on so many jobs to begin with. I never should have let you slip away even an inch… but I only did it because I was scared of losing you. I guess that was my mistake. Not that it matters now. You'll never hear this and I'll never see you again."_ My eyes shifted to him as he leaned against a wall in the exact moment his final words played over the phone, _"But I'll always be waiting for you. Even if it's not in this life, because I don't see myself going on for much longer. So even if it's at my grave, please, come and see me… it would mean the world to me."_

 **Beep.**

 _End of Messages._

I stared at him with a horrified gaze as he tried to avoid my eyes. But the expression in his face shifted from lifeless to his usual facade. A smile and a forced laugh came out as he tried to find an excuse to explain his last message, "I was in a really dark place back-"

"You tried to kill yourself?" I asked quietly. I was afraid to say it any louder than that, because if I did, it meant my mind would have to accept it. But either way, it wasn't something either of us could deny as he dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I failed…" He trailed off with a shrug and a short laugh.

"This isn't funny, Adrien." I scowled, watching his sad smile slip into a frown.

"I know…" He nodded, "But Marinette you have to understand that at the time I felt like… like…" He gestured his hands in circles around his chest to better describe his feelings, but his thoughts could not be spoken. They were from a time too dark and lonesome that he most likely assumed I wouldn't be able to comprehend any of it… but I did…

Because, I too was trapped in the same darkness once.

But he did it. He won the first round. He got me to cry. The tears in my eyes slid down my cheeks despite my many attempts to hold them back. I tried my best to wipe them away as fast as I could afterwards, but I could do nothing to ease the pain in my chest. It was like a poison, really. It burned going down my throat and into my heart as it filled my lungs, 'till it was impossible to even breathe. Everything was burning inside me and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Not as long as he was there.

"So what? You're not my responsibility anymore." I turned away from him, trying to stop the pain from showing on my face. "Please leave me alone." I ordered, calmly.

"Marine-"

"Adrien please!" I yelled, clenching my fists, "I have a date to get to."

Silence filled the air. It was so quiet that it almost felt empty again. So much so that I even started to question whether or not he was still around. But then I heard the heavy sound of footsteps approaching me from behind as a sudden warmth came down and took my hand.

"No." He stated before turning me back around.

"I'll call security if-"

"Call them." He said, nonchalantly, "Arrest me, lock me up, I don't care—but don't… don't stand there and lie to me!"

"I'm not lying!" I yelled back.

"You are! You're only flaunting him around in my face because you're too scared to admit that you still love me!"

"You're wrong!" I yelled before I attempted to yank my hand away. My efforts failed, though, as he held tightly onto my wrist.

"Then why'd you keep the ring?" He let me go, and like a bullet in the head he shot me with a memory I had hoped to forget. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't notice it gone?"

I couldn't come up with anything to say to that. Nothing that came to mind made any sense. There really wasn't a good enough explanation, honestly, because I wasn't sure why I chose to keep the thing myself. I wasn't thinking clearly that night, that much was true, but even so, I didn't feel like I needed to explain myself. After all, he was the one who decided to call it all off on his own…

"Get out…" I muttered harshly before shoving him to the door, "I don't want you here, so get out!" I screamed like a maniac. My throat hurt, my eyes burned, and my arms felt like they were growing weaker with every push. But he stopped me. He caught my arms by their wrists and leaned forward to meet my lips in a greedy kiss. It took me by great surprise and because of that, it had us both falling clumsily on the bed.

And it hurt.

It hurt reconnecting with him that way. He was crushing me, holding me, but it was the lies that hurt the most… because I knew he _didn't_ love me. How could he when he had made it so clear to me that his love for me had died long ago…?

"Get off of me!" I screamed, forcing my head to the side in my thirst for air.

"Marinette, please…" He begged after burying his face in the crook of my neck. His voice was shaking, and his whole body was trembling over me as I struggled to move underneath him. But at some point, I gave up. Everywhere he touched burned. It made me feel weak and small…

And I couldn't fight him that way.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" I asked as tears fell from the corners of my eyes.

"Because I'm scared!" His outburst made my heart jump as he held onto me tightly, "Seeing you with another guy scares the crap out of me. Thinking about him having his hands on you terrifies me to the point where I feel like I can't even _breathe_ , because… because it feels like I'll really lose you again."

I tried to swallow down a gulp of air to better calm myself before speaking, "You lost me a long time ago."

"I messed up, okay?" He shook his head, crying over my shoulder like a child, "I won't do it again, I swe-"

"It's over Adrien!" I cut him off with my screams before lifting my arms up, and surprisingly, he didn't try to stop me. He didn't even try to move when my fists crashed against his back, over and over again.

I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel what I felt that night. But it wasn't the same. It didn't feel right because he was going along with it so easily. It didn't matter how many times I hit him or screamed in his ears, in the end the only person I felt like I was really hurting… was me.

"I'm sorry…" He repeated, trembling as he held me in his arms—refusing to let me go. "I'm so sorry…" He whispered in my chest as my arms dropped to the mattress.

"It's too late for us now…" I muttered quietly, mostly to myself, but he slowly tried to move up in order to better see my eyes.

"It's never too late for us." His reply reminded me of better days as he brushed away tears from my eyes. He was kind, and sweet, and gentle, just like the way he used to be… before the change. But it was the memory of this change that brought more tears falling… "Please don't cry, Marinette." He begged after hiding his face in my shoulder.

I didn't know what to think or what to say. There didn't seem to be a correct way to react, either. And I felt as if I were falling into a weaker state with him there. I wanted to cry, but I wanted to smile. I wanted to laugh, but the memories were to painful. I wanted to be with him, but I couldn't… I couldn't, because of our mistakes.

Mistakes too great to forget.

"I love you, Marinette."

He whispered this into my ear and in that very second I felt my heart slam hard against my chest. He rose his head above me and gazed into my eyes for several, long, minutes. And with each second that passed, he leaned in closer, watching me carefully just to see how I'd react…

But I was tired.

I was tired of fighting. I was tired of arguing and pushing away. And when our lips finally met I decided for the time being not to resist. Just for today. Just for tonight. I wanted us to play the role we desperately yearned for as husband and wife— _just_ for tonight.

I wanted our hearts to fall into sync. I prayed that our flesh would melt into one as they reconnected one last time. The past didn't matter there, and the mistakes we made were forgiven for that one final moment. I didn't try to question anything about it. I just wanted him to hold me. I wanted to take it all in, his features, his scent, all of it - one last time. And then, after that, I vowed to close this chapter of our love for good. An hour. Just for an hour…

 **Then I'd be able to walk away.**


	11. Chapter 10: Forced To Let Go

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **Red**

 _ **(Tyler Ward Cover)**_

 _ **Remembering her comes in flashbacks and echoes**_  
 _ **Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go**_  
 _ **But moving on from her is impossible**_  
 _ **When I still see it all in my head**_  
 _ **In burning red**_  
 _ **Burning, it was red**_

 _ **Oh, losing her was blue like I'd never known**_  
 _ **Missing her was dark grey all alone**_  
 _ **Forgetting her was like trying to know somebody you never met**_  
 _ **'Cause loving her was red**_

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Forced To Let Go**

 **( Adrien )**

The scent of lavender woke me from my slumber. She sprayed it on her neck in front of the mirror in the corner. A crimson red dress was draped over her body, the color matching the walls and floors of her hotel room. Red. That's what I saw in her. A deep red that lit her soul. My love for her was beyond physical attraction, it was the connection I felt with her spiritually. That's what tied us together. Here, in this life. . .

Forever.

"Leave it down. . ." I suggested after silently watching her struggle to pin her hair up. The shimmering midnight blue fell in waves when she looked back. Beautiful. Perfection. That's the best I could do to define the petite woman standing only a few feet away. "I like it best when it's down." I muttered tiredly in the sheets before forcing myself to sit up and view the girl staring back at me with blushing cheeks. The girl that had been missing for three years. The girl I spent every waking moment thinking about, dreaming about, and trying to never forget. Now she was here. She'd returned to me. This time to pick up where we left off. . .

And I couldn't have been any happier.

She turned her eyes away and cleared her throat before tossing me my cellphone, "Your driver called. He said he'd been waiting to hear if you needed a ride back home."

"Crap! I forgot all about-"

"Relax. I told him you'd be out within the hour." She said before slipping on a pair of ruby, red heels to match her attire, "Feel free to hang around here till you're ready to leave." She kindly offered as she reached to grab her purse hanging in the closet. Painted red lips, long lashes, colored nails, and jewelry hanging from her ears and neck. . . she was leaving.

"Where you going all fancy like at this hour?" I jumped out of bed to ask, grabbing the jeans left laying on the floor to quickly slip on.

"I have stuff I need to do." She mentioned vaguely.

"I'm stuff. Just do me." I let out a faint laugh, trying to get her to smile. But there was nothing. She was serious, cold, emotionless. Nothing at all like how I'd expected her to be after what we'd just done. Normally the situation would have turned into a much lighter and loving scene. But she didn't seem to care at all about any of it. . . or even me.

"Be careful on your way home. It's suppose to rain tonight." That's all she said before she attempted to leave.

"Wait-" I panicked, rushing behind to slam the exit shut before she could disappear. It couldn't end like this, not after what had just happened, what we'd just done. None of that seemed to matter to her now. And suddenly the reason as to why slowly hit me in the back of my head. . . and it _sickened_ me.

"You're not going to see him, are you?"

It was quiet. She didn't say anything for a long moment. She simply stared at the door before her eyes fell on the hand I had placed on the knob. She gazed over it in silence. Then, slowly, she reached out to place her own over it. The touch of her palm making it harder to breathe with every second that passed unspoken. . . and then she grabbed it. She took my hand and removed it off the door so that she could escape again.

"I promised him I'd be there." She replied sharply.

"Y-Yeah but I thought we were-"

"We were what?" She glanced back, "Adrien, what we did. . . it'll never happening again." Her cold attitude sent chills running all over me. The barrier I thought I'd conquered had now been redesigned to keep me out. There was no getting through to her, no breaking those walls again. . . and then she left. She walked out without every looking back, just like before, just like that night. . . No. It wasn't like before, because she wasn't the one that had chosen to leave first. That was me. And this. . .

This was her revenge.

"Mari wait!" I raced out into the hall, ignoring the horrified look she gave in seeing me strolling around shirtless.

"Adrien your clo-"

"You're lying." I cut her off. Her face falling expressionless once again, "You didn't mean that. There's no way you-"

"I did." Her eyes slowly rolled up to meet mine. They were different. They were cold, soulless, and dark. The Marinette I knew, the one I'd fallen for, cherished and adored was gone, because this. . .

This wasn't her.

"It's best we keep our relationship strictly professional from here on out." She said with her head held high. No shame or guilt in her eyes. Just a woman. A woman I no longer understood. . .

"Why are you doing this? Back there you-"

"Back there I wasn't thinking clearly. Now I am." She stated.

"But things are different now!" I yelled, setting my frustration free as the heads of strangers peeked to listen to our conversation. But I didn't care. I was angry. I was confused. I was hurt and I just wanted the answers. I wanted her to be honest with me, but she couldn't even do that much.

"How am I suppose to believe anything you tell me, Adrien?" She laughed a little. As if my words made zero sense to her. "How am I suppose to trust you?"

"Because I-"

"Because what? Because you're sorry? That doesn't change what you did!" She shoved me hard, finally losing her cool. I stumbled back slightly but managed to catch my balance before my body could slip to the floor. I didn't complain. I didn't stop her or fight back, because I had no right to. . . I just didn't want to lose her again.

"But. . ." I tried again, rummaging through thoughts and ideas to keep her at my side.

 _Anything_. I would have done _anything_ to prove just how much her love meant to me. To prove that I wasn't the same, that I had changed, that I wouldn't hurt or betray her after all the years I'd spent in missing her. I messed up and I'd learned my lesson. I would never again take her for granted. . .

But I just needed one more chance.

"Adrien," She inhaled deeply, pushing back strands of hair as she tried maintaining a cool composure,  
"Thing's were never stable with you before. So how do I know you won't ditch me for someone else the next time you get drunk and upse-"

"I would never do that to you!"

"You already did once!" She was shaking. The glassy gleam in her eyes tore at my heart as she fought her hardest not to cry. But she failed. One tear, one lonely tear slid down her cheek. . . because of me. Because of the pain I'd inflicted on her in the past. There was no recovering from that, the wound was just too deep. She couldn't trust me, not now, or even three years from now because. . .

I'd been the one to break her.

"I can't handle that a second time." She muttered quietly before wiping her eyes.

"Marinette I'm not the same guy I was before."

"I can't be certain of that. . ." She mumbled, her pained expression forced away as a stone cold look masked her face, "It took me three years to succeed in this industry. Three years to finally get over you. I can't let you ruin that this time. Not after all the effort I put in trying to forget you." She turned away from me. She rejected the hand that reached out to her. She was done with me. She had used me and now she was ready to walk away. . .

"Marinette, please." I begged on my knees, letting the pain escape through the tears in my eyes. People were watching, no doubt recording us, but I didn't care what they thought or did. I didn't care what the media would share tomorrow. She was all that mattered to me. She was all that I'd ever wanted. My hero, my savior, the only one that had shielded me from my years of loneliness. Marinette, my princess, my best friend, my _first_ friend. . .

And the love of my life.

"I can't spend the rest of my life with a man fearing he may one day choose to leave again. . ." She went on, clutching her purse in one hand with trembling fingers, "You were the one who walked away first, Adrien. Not me. Drunk or not, you left that house on your own and didn't care about what I'd choose to do after that. . ."

"I'm sorry. . ." I whispered, crawling to her side as I desperately clung onto her quivering hand, "Mari, I'm so sorry. . ."

"I know you are." She whispered back, a small smile caught when she slipped out of my hand to reach into her bag, "I understand that you didn't mean to hurt me. . . but you did. There's nothing you can do that'll ever change that. . ." There was a long pause after she pulled something out. It shined in the hallway lights, and she stared at it with a saddened look on her face. But then it was gone again. And before I could say anything else she took my hand and placed the tiny object in my palm. "It's time to move on now."

The ring. My mother's wedding ring. The one I had given her, the one that had gone missing the night she left me. I recognized it instantly. I finally got it back. It was mine again but at a cost. . .

Losing _her_.

"You don't mean that. You love me I know you do!" I panicked, frantically pulling on her gown.

"This issue was never about whether or not I loved you, Adrien." She gently pushed me away, "I wasn't the one whoever stopped or pretended to. . . but sometimes love just isn't enough to go on." She smiled. She actually smiled as if it had finally given her peace. She'd gotten her closure, she could now move on. . . but what about me? She didn't stop to wonder what this would do to me. My feelings, my love, none of that was important now. She had said her part and she was ready to let go. . .

But there was no way I could do the same.

I pulled her back and held onto her, my face buried in her stomach, "Yes it is! You're more than enough for me, Mari _please_. . ." My voice muffled in her gown, sobbing like a child as my tears stained it's beautiful red. Red. The color of her soul, now drifting away from me forever. My princess, my lucky charm, my other half. . .

How could I say goodbye to that?

"I need something more. . . _stable_." She pulled me off to kneel down, surprising me when she reached out to hold me in her arms. "I'm sorry." She whispered in my ear. Her voice weak as she fought the urge to cry again. And when she pulled away she placed a chaste kiss on my forehead before getting back up.

She was gone. This time forever. She walked away with that final farewell. My mind knowing very well that I'd never see her again, not in the way I wanted to. And as I remained on the ground, my back placed against the wall, I brought my knees close to my chest and wept. She wasn't dead. She was in the city. But she was no longer part of my world. . . and I think that's what hurt me the most. Knowing that she was still here, alive, breathing, smiling and laughing. . . without me. She would live and she'd go on just fine, but I. . . I was dying. No, I'd already died. In fact, I'd been dead the moment she chose to step out of my life. Now there was nothing. I was nothing. Just an empty shell wandering the earth, because without her. . .

 **Everything else was pointless** _._

* * *

 **Duh Dun Duh. Woah-ho-ho. The end?**

 **Or Not?**

 **Do you want it to be over? I'll let you (the readers) decide. Think Adrien still might have a chance? Or should he just give up at this point?**

 **Let me know what you want.**

 **If you're reading this then that means you guys successfully made it to 207(+) reviews. Kewlio *0***

 ** _[Added]_ **

**Okay so, I already went over the fact that the review goals are now OVER. Does that mean you should stop leaving reviews? No. You should keep sending them in, it just won't affect updates.**

 **Welp. I went from being the kid who cried over every little critique given to me about my writing, to the girl who gave up on writing for a year after someone had decided to steal and sell one of my novels online. A whole year I went without writing and it took me three years just to get my story back. I didn't care about the money they took selling my work, I just wanted my story back.**

 **The Story You Never Knew was my way to get back into the groove of writing. Look What We've Become was a story set to test my skills as a writer. If I could influence my readers with my work then that meant I could successfully make my way to where I'm headed now. That's what the review goals were for. Of course, I was told to set three review goals but I'm not a fan of odd numbers so I gave you guys two. Isn't that nice of me? :D**

 **Just know that idc about the numbers. This was never centered on popularity or exposure. Though I do have to thank** **Dewagonet for even considering sharing this story on tumblr. That's amazing because a lot of ppl are embarrassed of the whole fanfic thing and sharing it with others isn't very common. But as a writer I do want my story to get exposure, will I beg for it? No. But these stories are like my babies. I want them to be popular on their OWN but if not I'll still love them regardless.**

 **Anyway, these messages will be deleted later on. But I do want to call someone out on something. . .**

 **In the last chapter you felt that the intimacy between Adrien and Marinette was non-consensual. You assumed that I was trying to make 'rape' romantic? Well, as a woman who's hands will forever be stained in the filth of one man I FIND THAT VERY OFFENSIVE. I do not romanticize rape. I have no problem writing about it so long as it tells the tale of someone overcoming such a trauma. But I in no way support the idea of making 'rape' beautiful. I have no issues with authors who do, but personally I find it very FILTHY that you would in any way label me as such. Have your better angels taken flight? If not then watch yourself hun.**

 **That's all I gotta say.**

 **Till next time, (tho idk when that'll be). May the stars and heavens smile upon each of you and thankiess for the support.**

 **-Clover**


	12. Chapter 11: Lost Without You

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **"My Dilemma"**

 _ **(Selena Gomez)**_

 _ **And I know, what I know**_  
 _ **And I know you're no good for me**_  
 _ **Yeah I know, what I know**_  
 _ **And I know it's not meant to be**_

 _ **Here's my dilemma**_  
 _ **One half of me wants ya**_  
 _ **And the other half wants to forget**_  
 _ **My-my-my dilemma**_  
 _ **From the moment I met ya**_  
 _ **I just can't get you out of my head**_

 _ **And I tell myself to run from you**_  
 _ **But I find myself attracted**_  
 _ **To my dilemma, my dilemma**_  
 _ **It's you, it's you**_

* * *

 **Chapter 11: Lost Without You**

 **( Marinette )**

The clock kept ticking and I was in a rush. Everything was foggy, my decisions, my leaving, and everything just kept telling me to go back. To return to him, to stay at his side, forgive those mistakes and move on. But something else kept saying I'd regret it. A tiny voice, quiet, and hard to understand - but I knew it was her. It was me. The girl he left crying in her bedroom alone, the girl who left Paris with nothing but her suitcase and a broken heart. And while the rest of me kept trying to persuade me to return, she kept repeating the same thing in my head over and over again. . .

"Go back to what?"

The lies? The betrayal? The cage? It had blinded me for years. I had fooled myself into thinking that if I let him control me and my decisions it would somehow _strengthen_ our love for each other. But I wasted my years following after him, letting him call all the shots, treating me like a piece of property. That's why he couldn't let me go, because at some point in time he had convinced himself to believe that I belonged to him and _only_ him. Leaving was the only way to get him to understand the truth. I belonged to me, myself, and no one else. My decisions, my life, my future - they were mine. He was just a man I allowed into my world, a man that I loved and adored with all that I was, and though he played a big part in it, he could never become my _whole_ world. . .

And that was why I chose to walk away.

"Alya!" I called for the girl standing with her husband in the crowd. And like a blur, I raced past each and every famous face in the room. Strangers from magazines and old films shot in Paris. They were stars, the kind the rest of the world idolized. Just like Adrien. . .

But they were still strangers.

"What is wrong with you!?" A sudden thump to the head brought me back. There she stood, in front of me, wearing a simple blue floral dress. The vicious anchor woman that looked to be on the brink of beating me to death for my late arrival.

"Ow. . ." I whined quietly, rubbing the top of my head to sooth the aching before it could spread.

"You were suppose to be here two hours ago! What have you been-"

"Sorry. . ." I cut her off, letting my hands and eyes drop to the floor where I distracted myself with the designs of her flats. I didn't want to explain myself, though she deserved to know, but I didn't want to remember anything involving him. Not our years as children, the day he broke my heart, the moment we were reunited, or the two hours I wasted alone with him. . .

I wanted to forget it all.

A heavy sigh caught my attention as I gazed up at the girl who stared off in the distance, "Well, no point crying about it now. You're lucky your dudes been preoccupied with potential buyers all evening." She nodded her head over at the figure who's fiery red hair stood out in the crowd.

He was smiling. It was gentle, sweet, and comforting as he explained his art to the strangers in the room. The passion in his work could be seen in his eyes. He was enjoying life. So much that the energy around him spread throughout the entire room. Even I felt slightly better after seeing him. And when he caught my eyes and waved from across the room, I couldn't help but blush again. It was different. The warmth he gave off, the look in his eyes, they were nothing like Adrien's at all and that. . .

Pained me a little.

"You didn't tell me he was so well-known." Alya nudged, "If I had known we'd be walking into this kinda crowd I would have dressed a lot more elegantly." She frowned.

"Relax, you're beautiful." Nino said with a quick peck to her forehead, before glancing at his cellphone.

"I didn't know it'd be this big a gathering either. He didn't really mention much of his success the last time we spoke. . ." I explained.

"Well, he's definitely humble. Must feel different dating a guy who doesn't brag about his money like Adri-"

"We're not dating." I quickly stated.

"Hey, I gotta jet out for a sec." Nino suddenly blurted out, eyes glued to his phone.

"What? Why?" Alya glared.

"A friend needs me right now. I'll be back in half an hour, tops." He didn't even think twice to get her approval. He just went off without ever looking back. Which meant that wherever he was needed must have been urgent.

"Don't take too long!" She yelled, "Well, now that I don't have to wait on you I think I can use a trip to the bathroom."

"I'll go with-"

"Miss Dupain?" Another familiar voice called for me. There, beside me, stood the unforgettable face of my once favorite designer. And the only other person to share the same blood as my ex-fiancé. . .

"M-Mr. Agreste." I stuttered, "W-What are you doing here?"

"The same reason as you I believe." He waved his hand over the art in the room, "To purchase fine art."

"I don't think that's what she came here for." Alya snorted.

"Stop it." I hissed, elbowing her arm.

"Well looks like you have someone to keep you company while I'm gone." She smiled, pushing me toward the man before she went off in the opposite direction.

"A-Alya!" I called out to her but she wasted no time to escape.

"Your friend seems lovely." He commented.

"On her good days. . ." I gritted my teeth before turning back to him. It wasn't so much that I held any negative feelings toward him, but it was harder to forget the blonde when I stared at the face of the man who took part in his creation. Which made me feel even more awful, because I admired him so much. . .

"I apologize for our last encounter." He began, "I wish we would have had more time to chat."

"Not at all. I was very busy as well." I waved, my mind going back to all the work I had planned to finish that day. Which was later delayed due to Adrien's reckless behavior. Adrien. Even the sound of his name set off an explosion in my chest. Both painful and nostalgic.

"You seem to have grown fairly busy with your work. Tell me, what drove you to pursue your career outside of Paris?"

"Well. . ." I hesitated. There was no way I could tell him the real truth. That my reason for leaving had been due to his son's decision to throw me out of his life. Whether it was a misunderstanding or not, it still happened. He tossed me to the curb and forgot all about it. . . like I was nothing. "I just wanted a fresh start I suppose."

"From your work? Or from my son?" He caught on eventually.

". . .Both." I tried to smile playfully, hoping to pass this off as nicely as I could, "I'm truly sorry for the trouble I might have caused after leav-"

"Don't be absurd, child. My son's behavior should not fall on your shoulders. I'm to blame before anyone else. . ."

I grabbed his arms to meet with the eyes that began drifting away, "Your son loves you, sir." I reminded him. He needed to know that. Despite the past, despite our mistakes, he needed to understand that adrien loved him just as much as he loved Adrien. And me. . . well, my love was just never good enough for him. Not then and surely not now.

"Thank you." He smiled.

"Speaking of Adrien. . ." I stepped back, "How did he. . . cope, after I left?" I had to ask. The reporters were one thing, Adrien's version was another, but his father would most likely be more distinct.

"There is no right way to deal with losing a loved one. Though, I would have preferred he'd taken a much better course of action."

"Meaning?" I stared.

"He did lose himself for quite sometime. Holed up in his home with various women. . ." My heart sank. More talk of them. Those unnamed women he spent most nights with. What's worse was that he didn't even know there names, who they were, and I hated him for it. He didn't try to move on, he just proved my statement to be true. Anyone would do. Whether they looked like me or Cherie. . . no one was ever good enough. "And it only got worse when he came out of hiding. There were drunk nights, fights with strangers in the park, accidents while driving-"

"I'm so sorry. . ." I stopped him. I didn't want to hear anymore. It hurt too much. Thinking about him, seeing him, working with him. . . there was no way out of it.

"Do not fret child. True, he wouldn't listen to anyone for several months, but he did manage to clean up most of his mess." He tried placing a hand on my shoulder for comfort, "He's just a child. We all are honestly, just children playing grown ups in a world that forces us to do so. I'm sure you were both affected by the incident, but it's good to see you both moving forward. . ."

"Yeah. . ." I felt an awful pain in the pit of my stomach. Guilt perhaps. I was trying to move forward but I had dragged us both back by giving in to temptation. The look on his face after walking away still burned in the back of my head. I messed up. . . "If you'll excuse me, I should probably go check on my friend."

"Of course." He nodded, and I quickly rushed to the back of the room. Everyone zoomed past me in a blur, the whole room was spinning and it wasn't due to alcohol or drugs. Just guilt.

I found a backdoor and escaped into the ally behind the building. I held myself up against the wall as I struggled to breathe. It hurt. It hurt all over and it wouldn't stop. My brain just kept going back to one thing. One awful thing. . .

 _I want to see him again._

But I couldn't. I fought off the urge and kept moving forward. I had to. I had to stay. I had to choose another. This was the best decision. He hurt me once and he'd do it again if I let myself trust him again. Still, the look in his eyes continued to haunt me. And I hated it. I hated him. I hated myself. I hated everything about the situation and I just wanted it all to go away. . .

"Giving up already?" Said a voice that lurked in the darkness. The sound of it made me jump in fright, but it's small figure proved to be of no threat. And when I saw him step into the light I knew there was no danger, just anger.

"You again." I glared at the old man I had met with several times during my youth. The one responsible for my duties as Ladybug, the memories with Chat Noir, the heart ache that came afterwards. . .

It was all his fault.

"What's the matter, girl? Life kicked you down?" He joked.

"No. . ." I put on a tough front, "Not that it concerns you."

"Just because one is not involved, does not mean they can't help ease your pain."

"If anything the one responsible for such pain is you. . ." I fired back, pushing myself away from the wall, "None of this would have ever happened if you hadn't given me those powers. Adrien and I-"

"Is that what you honestly believe?" He grinned. I hated that. Mainly because he was always right.

Honestly, I was grateful for the time I had as Ladybug. It taught me so many things, many valuable things. I took part in inspiring so many in the city of Paris. And the memories I'd made with Chat and Adrien were beautiful at the time. I didn't regret them, I really didn't. I just hated what it had driven us to become. The hero life was like a drug, an addiction, the moment we felt less needed the harder it was to stay together. We depended on those moments together, and that. . .

That was our fault.

"What are you even doing here?" I asked, arms folded over my chest.

"Must I need a reason to chat with an old friend?"

"Friend? Friends don't steal." I shot another angry glare, waiting for an explanation.

"And what is it that I have stolen, my dear?" He tried playing dumb.

"You took her back. You made her leave-"

"Did I? Or did I simply do what you secretly desired?"

"Secrely des. . . I never wanted her gone! She was my friend, we were a team and-"

"And you threw it all away." He cut me off. And again, he was right. I'd just been to stubborn to admit it out loud. I had chosen my heart ache, my career, over her. Tikki, my friend, the only one who'd been there from the start, known all my secrets from the very beginning. . . and I had abandoned her.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Ladybug's already dead as it is." I turned my back to him, staring at the same moon I once believed to be so close during my younger days.

"Is she really? Or has she simply been waiting for your return."

"What do you mean?" I glanced back.

"There are things that tend to vanish before us, but you and I both know that nothing is ever truly gone. It lives within us, silently waiting to be noticed. . ."

"You speak gibberish, old man." I rolled my eyes. He laughed.

"Perhaps, but only because you refuse to understand."

"Understand what?" I groaned.

"The beginning child. . ." He paused, stepping closer, "When lost one must return to the beginning in order to reach the end."

"The beginning of what?" I asked again.

"Marinette?" A new voice called for me. When I looked back I saw him standing there, the redhead smiling at me from the doorway, and the old man long gone before either of us had even noticed.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked, stepping out to join me.

"S-Sorry, I was just um. . . g-getting some air." I lied, despite everyone knowing I was never a good liar. My stuttering always gave it away. But fortunately, he didn't question me too much.

"Not enough of it inside?" He laughed, moving over to stand beside me. "The stars are shining brightly tonight." He mentioned as we both stared up at the sky.

"Looks like it. . ."

"They almost remind me of the twinkle in your eyes." He said quietly, and when I searched to find his eyes I realized they'd been watching me all along.

"You look lovely tonight." Another smile spread on his lips as a light blush painted over my cheeks.

"T-Thank you. . ." I turned away, "And I apologize for my late arrival."

"There's no need. I'm sure it must take time to perfect such beauty." More compliments and I knew my face was most likely burning as bright as his hair.

"Oh, one sec. . ." He reached a hand out to touch my head, the tips of his fingers making me shiver, "Wouldn't want dust ruining that hair." He pulled out a speck of dust that lingered in my hair before taking a fistful of dark strands.

"T-Thank you. . ." I tried to smile, but it was hard to do when he stared so seriously. He ran his fingers though my strands before they returned to my shoulder.

"Dark as the midnight sky. . ." He leaned in closely and whispered, "A true masterpiece."

Our faces stood a few inches in. It was obvious where things were headed and I didn't fight against it. This was what I'd come for, what I'd been expecting, it was only polite to comply. A hand cupped my cheek very carefully before he met my lips with a gentle kiss. My eyes slowly shut to kiss him back, just like grown ups normally did. We weren't children anymore. We weren't in high school anymore. Yet I still felt like a child trying to play a grown ups role.

He leaned against me, trying to deepen the kiss I had been waiting to receive. He was gentle, sweet, affectionate. . . but something was missing. I mimicked his every move, fused my lips to his, yet nothing changed. It felt like nothing more. . .

But a simple kiss.

"I-I'm sorry. . ." I pulled away, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. How could I after everything that had happened? I'd been putting all my effort into getting a moment like this with him, to forget everything before this, before Adrien. . . But I still felt nothing. Not with Nathaneal or any other man and I couldn't understand why?

"I should have figured." He laughed, stepping back, "There's no way I could replace him."

"What?" I gaped, staring at the redhead who seemed to get what I had been missing all along.

"You still love him. Don't you?" Piercing blue eyes met with mine but there was no reason to answer. He didn't ask because he wanted me to confirm or deny it. He asked because he knew the only person who hadn't realized it yet was me.

I messed up again. I didn't regret leaving Adrien, I didn't feel guilty about walking away, I only felt wrong about this. Forcing myself to love another when I hadn't been able to fully move past what had happened. How could I when I had just shared the same bed with the blonde hours ago? It was too easy. And love was never easy, especially when it involved Adrien. . .

"I'm sorry. . ." I muttered before rushing past him to leave.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't move on that fast. Years I chased after him, Years I loved him, Years I cried over the heartbreak in losing him. . . so how could I forget? How could I expect to move on overnight? It was impossible. It would have been for anyone. He was my prince, my partner, my best friend, my boyfriend and fiancé. . . and now he was nothing. Now we were strangers and I. . . I felt lost without him. He had been a part of me for so many years, even after the break up. I still clung onto hope, I had even in those three years apart, because I loved him. But that was over now. We were done. That part of me would never return. He was once my path, my light, my guide. But he would never again join me in this journey. I knew I couldn't be with him and still I felt lost without him. And that left me with only one question in head. . .

Where was I suppose to go from here?

* * *

 **Quick Note:**

 **This my friend is what a chapter looks like when it hasn't been proofread properly. First draft, I'll fix the grammar errors later, but this has been sitting on my computer for a week or so and I kept saying I was gonna post it after I proofread it and all. But I never got to proofread it because I was busy and. . . there's a lot of words**

 **So I'll fix it later. Maybe. Possibly. Probably Not. Who knows. But a lot of people keep wanting me to post another chapter because you guys have already reached YOUR summer. BUT MY SUMMER doesn't start till like next week so I'm giving this to you guys as an early summer gift I guess.**

 **A lot suckier than other chapters but stay tuned because you won't want to miss the next chapter. I'm talking BREAKING POINT for Adrien Guys. You won't want to miss it ^^**

 **Or maybe you will. Idk.**

 **Your choice.**

 **But thanks for all the support :D**

 **-Clover**


	13. Chapter 12: Goodbye Good Guy

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **"Gone Forever"**

 _ **(Three Days Grace)**_

 _ **Now things are coming clear**_  
 _ **And I don't need you here**_  
 _ **And in this world around me**_  
 _ **I'm glad you disappeared**_  
 _ **So I'll stay out all night**_  
 _ **Get drunk and fuck and fight**_  
 _ **Until the morning comes I'll**_  
 _ **Forget about our life**_

 _ **I feel so much better**_  
 _ **Now that you're gone forever**_  
 _ **I tell myself that I don't miss you at all**_  
 _ **I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now**_  
 _ **That you're gone forever**_

* * *

 **Chapter 12: Goodbye Good Guy**

 **( Adrien )**

I sat alone in an empty diner, watching the tiny creature nibble away at what was left of his camembert. He was happy. Everyone was happy. The waitress, the owner, the people on the street, and even Marinette. They were all living happy lives. . .

Without me.

I stared at the diamond that twinkled in my hand. It had been years since I'd last seen it, and never did I expect to have it in my possession again. . . because it was hers. I had given it up along with my heart to impress her, to win her over, to keep her at my side. And she threw it all away.

I wasn't good enough to stand beside her now. Just a lucky model who got rich quick by riding on daddy's coattail all his life. They'd all been right about me. Nothing I owned, nothing I ever had was ever really mine. It was all temporary. An illusion or a trick. Meant to play me just to watch me fall when it was lost. That's what she did. She played me and walked away for the second time. . .

She had gotten her revenge.

"C'mon," Plagg whined with a face full of cheese, "You've got plenty of ladies that idolize you. Why should one girl-"

"Plagg. . ." I stopped him, dead eyes meeting with tiny ones, "Don't."

"She really got to you, didn't she?"

I didn't bother to answer. I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to accept that this had become us. We had shined so brightly together in this city and now the only one shining was her. My fame had been handed over but her's had been earned. Maybe that's why I seemed so worthless to her. I couldn't compete with anyone because I'd always be placed on the bottom. A loser, a burden, completely useless to her. . .

That's why she walked away.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters. . ."

"Adrien!" The loud cry from the front of the diner caught my attention. Nino appeared, rushing over once our eyes had met.

"I didn't think you'd actually show." I blinked, surprised by his decision to find me after one simple message.

"Why wouldn't I?" He shrugged, taking the seat in front of me.

"Because of. . ." I stared at the bruise I had marked on his face, but his choice to ignore the matter made me want to do the same. If he was ready to drop it then I had no reason to protest. "Nevermind."

"What's going on?" He asked, tapping my leg with his foot to catch my attention.

"You won." I admitted, "You and Alya. . . you got what you wanted."

"I'm not following?" He furrowed his brows, confused by the situation.

"She dumped me." I glared, my anger toward her redirecting itself to him, "She used me and she walked away."

"Marinette? How did she-"

"I thought I actually stood a chance at winning her back. " I laughed, leaning against my chair, "But it was just her trying to mess with me. It was all for revenge."

"Ade, I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I tried to tell you man. It's best to just forget about her and-"

"I can't!" I snapped, slamming my fists over the wooden table, "You don't think I've tried?"

"No I don't." He answered calmly.

"I gave her everything! I would have done anything for her but-"

"In exchange for what?" He asked, eyes squinting through his lenses, "Adrien don't you get it yet?"

"Get what? How I fooled myself into thinking she could actually belong to me if-"

"That's it! Right there!" He yelled, pointing his finger at me, "Belonging to you? Dude, She's not an object."

"I never said she-"

"Equals." He cut me off, "Alya and I work because we respect each other as equals. I encourage her to pursue her dreams just as she's done with me."

"So have I!" I quickly stated.

"No!" He shouted, eyes flaring in fury as they stared into mine, "Talking about her like she's something to claim. You never once saw her as an actual individual."

"You're wrong. I told her to move in with me because I wanted her dreams to come true-"

"You wanted her to stay in Paris because you didn't want her out of your sight." He paused, taking in a deep breath before he continued, "She stayed stuck here, in that house, with you for years. She threw away any and all opportunities to be with you. But leaving Paris was the best career move she could have ever made."

"I should have known you'd take her side." I scoffed, turning my head away.

"This isn't about taking sides. You're my friend too, but I can't agree with everything you've done to her." My head zoomed back instantly to listen to his lecture, "You tried keeping her locked up in that house with you at all times, punishing her for things she couldn't control-"

"That's not true." I muttered under my breath. I was trying to change his opinion but honestly, it felt more like I was just trying to convince myself instead. I didn't want to believe it or hear it. I didn't want to accept the possibility that she might have ever felt even the slightest bit miserable when we were together. . . because she was perfect. She had been more than perfect and I. . .

I wanted her to remember me as perfect too.

"You isolated her." He began, the word _isolation_ stabbing my ears, and even the thought of it burned me from the inside, "You kept her from expanding her horizons. You wouldn't even let her go visit her family that entire time-"

"Because I was scared!"

"I know!" He screamed back, leaning in closer, "You were scared you'd lose her. You were scared she'd never come back. I know your reasons, dude. But don't they remind you of someone else?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I lied. I knew where this was headed and I didn't want to hear it.

"Punishing her for leaving, trying to keep her locked away, referring to her as a _pet_ rather than a person-"

"I never-"

"You're just like him!" He shouted, refusing to let me deny it any longer than I already had.

"No. . ." I shook my head, getting out of my seat to block him out.

"Too scared to let her spread her wings. Dude. . ." He sighed, standing up to stop me from leaving, "You've become exactly like your father."

There it was. He had finally said it. Someone had finally told me what I had feared to ever hear the most. I thought I'd been the only one to notice, and I'd hoped to have done a better job at hiding it in front of others, but it was pointless. It was obvious where I had gone wrong. What had driven me to this point. . .

Yet I refused to admit it.

"That's not true." I whispered.

"You know it is." He stared at me. Brown eyes waiting for me to catch on to reality.

I had hurt her. I had messed up. I had tried to control her the same exact way my father had done with me. I didn't want to lose her, I was just scared she'd disappear on me too, and the only way I could stop that from happening was to keep her by me at all times. That way no one could take her, no one could hurt her, and no one else could change her opinion of me. Yet somewhere along the way I had done that myself and now she _hated_ me. . .

And I had only myself to blame.

"Adrien!" Nino called for me after I shoved past him to leave.

I ran out of the building, into the streets, and through the crowd. The rain had returned again. The same rain that had drowned me in misery the night she disappeared. My chest, my body, my lungs - everything ached. All because of her. All because of my obsession with her. I knew it was wrong, I knew how sick it was and still I couldn't pull away. I couldn't deny her and yet I couldn't love her. The only option for me was to simply hate her. To hate her with everything that I was and had become. But that felt impossible. Even the thought of it stung. . .

 _So what was I to do now?_

My body collapsed in an alley. I dropped and sat on the wet pavement. My tears mixing with the droplets that fell from the sky. I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to believe that this was my reality. Three years ago I had been engaged to the perfect woman and now I had nothing. I had made the mistake to manipulate her all those years, to drive her past her breaking point, to hurt her when she was feeling weak. But she had made it so easy. She was always so eager to impress me, so open to the opportunity to obey my every command. She lived and breathed solely for my sake and I hated that yet I couldn't stop her. Instead I used that to keep her on a tight leash.

She chose to stay in Paris to make me happy. She chose to leave her family to keep me company. She tried throwing away her dreams to become a part of mine. She did it all for me. She was so willing to live for my sake, and though I should have stopped her. . . I never did. I didn't even try because it felt so different. My years of neglect had driven me to cling onto her. I needed her attention, I craved it, I yearned for it because she was so willing to give it. How could anyone deny an opportunity like that? How could I have said no when she was so eager to say yes to everything? It was impossible. _Beyond_ impossible. Still, if I had known the risks, if I had known that the cost would be losing her, I never would have done it. I never would have pushed her so far away. . .

But it was too late now.

"Please, let me go!" A sudden shriek was heard a few feet away. A woman with dark hair was cornered by a pair of men blocking her from leaving. My tears and the sky had blurred my vision, it was impossible to make out a face. But her hair. Her hair was so dark, just like the night sky. Just like a certain blue-eyed princess I had failed to protect.

"Hey. . ." I got up, my voice groggy when I tried to speak.

"C'mon lady, hand it over!" One of them commanded, pulling out a knife from his pocket.

"Somebody help me!" She screamed, sobbing loudly in the rain.

"Get away from her. . ." I walked over, trying to get their attention. But all I could really focus on was her. She had no face in the rain, and my mind had deluded me into thinking she was someone else. _Marinette_. An illusion or not that's all I could see. All I could think was that she was in danger. She needed my help. And I needed to save her this time.

And then I snapped.

"Stupid, bitch!" He spat, smacking her so hard across the face that her body collided with the floor. She was crying. She was begging for a savior. And she got one. The tears, the sharp sound of his hand hitting her face, it flipped my switch because _no one_ , not even the baddies that once filled the streets could ever. . .

 _Ever_ touch her that way.

"I said get away from her!" I flew in, swinging my fists to attack. I punched and kicked with all my might. I wanted to keep her from crying again, from feeling any pain, but she was gone. She ran off screaming in fright. She escaped not caring what they had planned for me next. Just like that night. The night she chose to walk away and leave me behind. . .

"Nosey punk!" His knee slammed into my gut, knocking all the air out of me before I dropped to the ground. Their feet clashed with every part of my body, and my blood mixed with the puddles I laid in as I struggled to breathe. . .

I had given up.

The tiny clink of the forgotten ring bounced and rolled away from me. I watched it lay on the ground, silent and still, existing in a world I no longer belonged to. She had given it up and I had no reason to cling onto it anymore. I'd never need it again. There'd never be another to take her place and I had been a fool to think otherwise. There was no second best, no moving on, no letting go. It was her or nothing and now. . .

There was nothing.

"This should make up for it." One of them laughed, picking up the engagement ring I had let slip away.

"Give it back. . ." I coughed, getting up to follow the two that tried to escape with it.

"You just don't know how to stay down-" A fist raced to meet with my face, but my determination fueled my energy. I caught it and without hesitating, snapped the wrist he carried the tiny piece of jewelry in. The last piece I had left of her.

"I said give it back!" I kicked him down, taking back the ring that fell out of his hand.

I fought them off. I pounded on flesh till it was black and blue, till their blood mixed with mine so that it was impossible to make out who's was who's. My heart danced to the rhythm of cracking bones and crying men. It was a rush. It filled in the void that had been there since I had lost the mask, the adventure, and my princess. And I craved for more. A new purpose to keep on living. And when they ran off screaming in terror I knew I had found a better reason to live.

"Are you okay?" Plagg appeared from out of the air, concern evident in his tone.

"Never better. . ." I slid on her ring. I stared at it as I accepted my new reflection. Adrien was gone and I had never felt more alive. And when my eyes caught sight of the tower I had spent so many moments with her, I knew what needed to be done. "No point in hiding anymore. If it's a bad guy they want, then that's what they'll get."

"Wait, what are you-"

"Plagg, claws out!"

It was over now. There was no point in crying about it when nothing would be changed. She'd never come back to me, not now or in this life. The only way to move on was to forget. And the only way to forget was to erase everything. This city, it's people, and the memories, the pain would surely disappear after that. Then I wouldn't need to feel anything at all. It had been years since I'd worn the suit, so it shouldn't have been all that shocking to see that I'd forgotten how to play the good guy either. That side only existed for her, but now that she was gone I had no reason to pretend anymore, to lie to myself or deny my true desires. . .

 **I had no reason to play the hero this time.**

* * *

 **Quick Note:**

 **Since we're getting so close to wrapping up this story (sorta) I figured I'd throw in one last early summer gift for you guys. I wrote this chapter an hour ago so I didn't proofread. Why? Because I don't have the time or energy to proofread right now.**

 **What's up with the quick updates?**

 **Welp. I'm leaving the country for a while and IDK when I'll be able to post the NEXT CHAPTER. I'm finishing school next week SOO clearly I'll be too busy to post any chapters these two weeks. After I leave school I'm leaving to a land far away where internet doesn't exist. Maybe I'll be there a week or two as well. IDK.**

 **When I come back I doubt I'll be wanting to jump RIGHT into writing the next chapter. However, I may or may not post the next chapter sometime this week (if I have time). But there is a LOT of drama headed your way in this story before it reaches it's END. So please do not give up or leave. I mean, you can but that's all on you so don't blame me If you miss out on anything. Also don't TRY and guess the ending bc you won't get it right, trust me. Idk why everyone assumes Adriens gonna kill himself but I do know it's because a lot you know I hate HAPPY ENDINGS. Which is true, I love bittersweet tragedies. Those are my favorite kinda stories. But that doesn't mean I don't WRITE happy endings, guys. I do. I have tons of happy ending stories that I've shared in my past. Will this story have a happy ending? MAYBE. Idk. Why would I tell you that if most of you HATE spoilers. I mean HELLO the whole ML spoiler thing with the ORIGIN eps was such a big deal soooo don't guess or try to get me to confirm anything for you. Just be patient and read the story to the EPiLOGUE! ^^**

 **Again, thanks for all the support and keep dropping in those reviews and keeping tabs on this story. BC I srsly don't know when I'll be updating. BUT I will update. I'm not an author to quit on her stories half way BELIEVE me it's impossible. It's like an OCD kinda thing I CANNOT leave anything unfinished. Unless I'm forced to which I doubt will EVER be the case.**

 **So See Ya Next TIME!**

 **-Clover**


	14. Chapter 13: My First Mistake

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x** **Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **Come Right Out and Say It**

 _ **(Relient K)**_

 ** _I better rest my eyes 'cause I am growing weary of_**  
 ** _This point you've been trying to make_**  
 ** _So rather than imply, why don't you just verbalize_**  
 ** _All the things that you're trying to say?_**

 ** _I guess it turned out so well_**  
 ** _But I'm beginning to see that instead, it's trouble_**  
 ** _Into a pattern, we fell_**  
 ** _Of prolonging the inevitable_**

 ** _Why don't you come right out and say it?_**  
 ** _Even if the words are probably gonna hurt_**  
 ** _I'd rather have the truth than something insincere_**  
 ** _Why don't you come right out and say it?_**  
 ** _What it is you're thinking_**  
 ** _Though I'm thinking, it's not what I wanna hear_**

* * *

 **Chapter 13: My First Mistake**

 **(Marinette)**

Specks of dust fluttered in the room. A room full of shattered memories. Past moments engraved in the back of my head. Moments that could never be ours again. This was my home. This was my childhood. This. . . . this was us. A representation of our future.

Long, empty and forgotten.

"Life really does go on. . ." I sighed miserably after dropping my bag. It had finally hit me. The guilt, the pain, the sadness - all of it. Breathing was a mission and standing felt nearly impossible. The aching in my chest was too much. It dragged me to the floor and on my knees. All the what if's, the could've been's, the possibilities. If I I'd stayed, If I'd left with my parents that week, if I'd chosen Nathaniel instead...

Would I have been happier?

My love for Adrien, the pain I'd endured, all of it meant nothing to the world. My existence was insignificant despite the countless lives I'd saved. The world kept spinning, my home kept aging, and my life was slowly fading. . . because I wasn't the center of this universe. My troubles and heartbreak meant nothing to the rest of the world...

And I could feel that.

 _"I think that's it." I whispered to the blonde sitting on the mattress. But my uncerantity was still there, slowly peaking as I packed up my belongings. It's not like I wanted to leave my parents, but I couldn't walk away from Adrien either. And when he reached out to take my hand with loving eyes, that uncertainty was locked away again. Chained up in a tiny box stored in my heart. I couldn't focus on it, but part of me always felt it there. Still lingering, calling to me, and with good reason too. . ._

 _Because I was too scared to face the truth._

 _"I can't believe this is really happening." He muttered excitedly._

 _"Me either. . ." I replied quietly, trying to mask away any signs of hesitance. But It was so fast and so unexpected. It wasn't like I hated the idea of living together or the idea of staying in Paris, but. . ._

 _I knew my mother did._

 _Her cries echoed from the other room. Just like the night before and I understood why. We were a family. We were supposed to stick together. And even though she'_ _d always supported me and my decisions, especially when it came to Adrien, this time was still different. I was choosing him over my own parents. I was choosing to cut them out of my life when they decided to leave the country._ _And all because of a boy. . ._

 _A boy I'd fallen madly in love with._

 _"Hey. . ." He squeezed my hand, demanding my attention. But her sobs had my eyes glued to the door._

 _"My mom's never cried like that before. . ." My thoughts escaped into words, and I couldn't stop them. I was scared, I felt guilty and more over. . . I felt like I was betraying my own family. "Maybe this is a mistake."_

 _"Marinette, you can't just leave." He quickly stood up in a panic._

 _"But it's my fault she's-"_

 _"Look at me." He held my face, staring into tear-filled eyes. My chest hurt, my throat hurt, and everything inside me hurt. But he couldn't see that. He couldn't because he was too focused on his own fear. The fear of losing me, losing us, losing yet another loved one. . . and I didn't want to be the one to hurt him again._

 _"Your mom **will** survive. She has your dad there, remember?"_

 _"Yeah but-"_

 _"If you leave I'll have no one. . ." He threw it out there, trying to guilt me into obeying him. It wasn't fair. Either choice meant someone would get hurt. It wasn't like Adrien meant more to me than my own mother, but how could I refuse him when he was standing right in front of me. . .?_

 _"Adrien. . ."_

 _"You have to choose, Mari." He muttered quietly, staring at me with a different look. One I'd never witnessed before._

 _He was trying to hurt me. He was trying to make me feel awful just to beat my parents. He wanted to manipulate me into staying. He wanted to own me, and I knew it. I knew it but I still brushed it off by telling myself it was just his way of showing affection. He loved me. He had to love me. That's why he wanted me to stay. . ._

 _Right?_

 _"Who do you want to belong to? Your Parent's. . . or me?"_

 _I should have stopped myself from making a decision right there. If I could go back I probably would have left the room instead. I would have given myself the time and space to choose wiser. But I didn't understand it at the time. I wasn't aware of the tactics he'd been using all those years to keep me in that house. He loved me, that was true. But that wasn't the reason he wanted me to stay._

 _That day, that very moment, was the beginning of our downfall. The first technique he used to try and control me, because that's what it was all about - control. His father gave him zero control as Adrien, he had no say in the disappearance of his mother, his future and past had always been decided for him - but me. . . us. . ._

 _That was something he wanted to own._

 _I was naïve. I was but a young girl in love with a boy I had given myself too completely. All I wanted was to make him happy, stay together, and keep our love strong. But somewhere along the way we lost that_ _. The reason I stayed or why we got together in the first place was gone. That had vanished due to his sudden urge to stay in control... and that was selfish on both our parts. He wanted to own me and I wanted nothing more but to keep him happy. But facts were facts, and all we were ever really doing was burying our past selves in the filth of a corrupted reality. . ._

 _I was just too blind to see it._

 _"You. . ." I whispered in his chest. My final decision and the first mistake I made in our relationship, "I choose you. Always."_

"Dammit!" I cried out, punching boxes that were piled up beside me. I messed up and I was still messing up. I was stupid to ever think that coming back would ever work for me. I had to leave, I had to get away from everything, sell the bakery, and forget about him for good. That was my only option. . .

Till I noticed something fall.

Out of the cardboard cubes came a tiny box stumbling on the floor. I recognized it the second it rolled over to the light. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was sure my mind was playing tricks on me again. It had to be. . .

Because she didn't want me anymore.

"That. . . it can't be." I got up and walked over to the old antique. It looked just like how I'd last seen it. It had been gone for so long but suddenly it was there again. Back in my hands. And when I opened it to find two red earrings placed neatly inside, my eyes welled up in tears again...

 _"The beginning child. When lost one must return to the beginning in order to reach the end."_

"So that's what he was yammering on about." I laughed to myself before pulling out the tiny pieces of jewelry. I didn't hesitate to put them on. They'd been part of my past for so long that it had become a habit. It was part of me.

 _She_ was part of me.

A bright light flashed shortly after I hooked it into my ears. It blinded me for a second, but my excitement forced me to re-open my eyes quickly. There she was again. The tiny red creature I had missed in the three years of our separation. A separation that was not decided, but rather forced upon us due to my recklessness. But never again. I would never let her leave my side so long as I lived. It was my duty after all. Not just as her partner. . .

But as her family.

"T-Tikki. . ."

"Marinette?" She shimmered with joy, rushing in to rest on my chest, "You found me."

"But I thought you were gone for good. . ."

"I had a good feeling you'd come back again." Her smile twinkled brightly, warming up my heart with memories of my childhood.

"But why? Why'd you leave?"

"I didn't, really. We were just waiting for the time you'd stop running away-"

"I wasn't ru-" I stopped myself from yelling at her, mainly because I didn't want to ruin the moment with a petty argument. But also because it was partly true. I did run away. I left Paris because I was too scared to be chained to the city forever. I was scared that if I kept myself here, if I waited for Adrien to return, I'd feel trapped again. He would have said something, done something, anything, to guilt me out of abandoning him - because that's exactly what I did. I left him behind. . .

Just like his mother.

"I didn't have a choice."

"I understand-"

"You don't. I couldn't stay here, Tikki. I couldn't even breathe around him anymore and I just-"

"I'm sorry. . ." She suddenly blurted out with an apologetic stare. It was distant and sad and. . .

Full of guilt.

"For what?"

"If I had said something earlier, maybe the two of you never would have. . ."

"What are you talking about?" I stepped forward, kneeling down to meet with her again.

"I knew Chat Noir's true identity the moment you two met. I sensed his kwami whenever he was nearby and-"

"So, you knew about us the whole time." I asked again for a confirmation, but my mind was still running rampant with all sorts of thoughts and this. . .

This was driving me closer to the edge.

"Yes, but I figured things would surely work out-"

"But they didn't." I shook my head and turned away. All I could think about were "What if's" from the past. What if I had known the truth? Would I still have fallen for Adrien had I known he was Chat Noir at the beginning? Would I have been happier if we had just stayed friends? Would my life been easier if I had left with my parents that day? So many questions, and I still couldn't figure it out. . .

Had I really made all the wrong choices?

"Things might not have gone the way I'd hoped. . ." She began after flying up to find my eyes, "But I like to think that everything was fated to happen for a reason."

"Now you're a believe in fate?" I scoffed.

"I've always been one." She shrugged slightly.

"You think fate brought me and Adrien together? Does that mean it broke us up too?" I laughed at the thought of it. The idea that my life was nothing but a path controlled by some invisible force that ruled over us. If that were true then staying alive felt pointless. What was the meaning in any of it? In living if all there was to it was a brief moment of happiness before your thrown into a never ending raid of pain?

"Fate is a force that brings others together. I think you two were always meant to meet."

"Why let us meet if we were only going to suffer?" I asked again, despite knowing very well she didn't have all the answers. Even she wasn't that powerful. But still. . .

I wanted someone to answer me for once.

"You can choose to love or let go, Marinette. But you're not the type to give up on anyone. Isn't that why you chose to come back?" Soft eyes met with mine. I tried to say something but I couldn't. My work brought me here and that's what I kept trying to tell myself. But I had gotten several offers and opportunites elsewhere. I could have had a wonderful life in New York. I could have accepted another persons heart to replace the one Adrien had shattered. . . I could have. Yet my stupidity refused to let me forget. . .

That's why I came back.

"Fate can keep pushing two people together for as long as it can, but it's up to those two to decide on the path they choose to take together... or alone." She finished her fortune cookie speech with a simple smile. And though I'm sure she was hoping to do some good with it, all I felt was an even greater guilt. . .

"So it's our fault? Or more like _my_ fault. That's what you're saying?" I let myself drop to the dusty old floor. I didn't care about the damage it'd do to my gown or shoes. I just couldn't find the strength to stand up again. My ankles were hurting, my eyes stung, and my heart ached at the choices I made just to hurt him, because that's all I really did. . .

I left Paris that night because I wanted him to feel alone. I ignored his existence for three years because I wanted him to suffer. I came back partly hoping to rub all my success in his face, and I dated Nathanael to show him that I was just as desirable as he was. Then, to top it all off, I slept with him just to hurt him with the joy of walking away, _just_ to give him a taste of the same heartbreak he put me through. It seemed like a good idea when it was all going down but... none of it ever made me feel any better. I'd made him out as this evil, cheating, monster all these years when in reality. . . it was me.

I was the monster.

"You can't keep looking to blame someone, Marinette." Tikki flew over to rest on the plam of my hand, "Whatever mistakes were made, you were both hurting right?" Her question triggered an even big tremor of pain in the pit of my stomach. It hurt too much to breathe, too much to speak, so I buried my face in my arms hoping to escape from everything.

Honestly, when I look back on it, it was almost like a contest. We were trying to hurt the other over and over again just to make up for the mistakes we foolishly made. It was all about getting even. If one of us got hurt, the other would come back ten times harder. We acted like children and we wept like children. . .

But we weren't _children_ anymore.

"You can deny him your whole life, Mari. But can you really leave it this way? When it's all over and your life reaches it's end, would you rather your final moments be spent at his side or with him gone?" My eyes shot up from out of the dark to find her. The memory of his face flashed before me. His radiant smile that shined brilliantly whenever we were together was suddenly falling. All that existed now was the agonizing look he gave when he begged me to stay. The mix of tears and screams seen and heard because I chose to walk away - because I chose to _hurt_ him. I was so sure it was the right choice at the time, but now. . .

"It's not that easy Tikki. . ."

"Do you hate him?" She suddenly asked.

"No, of course not. I could never-"

"Do you care about him?"

"You know I do, but-"

"Then, can you honestly say you don't love him?"

"I. . ." She looked at me in a way that made the whole world seem simple. But it wasn't. Life and love, they were always complicated. That's how it had always been from the very beginning. Whether I loved him or not, whether letting him go was right or wrong, I couldn't just go running back to him. If it were that easy then I would have done it a long time ago. I would have come back and never let him out of my sight again. I would have stayed with him for as long as this body allowed me to. I would have showered him with love and joy for an eternity but. . . I couldn't.

Because it wasn't that simple.

"It's your life, Marinette. I'm sure you'll find a way to be happy with your decision someday. But you must understand, that decision will one day be final. . ."

My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach after hearing her say it. I didn't want to be weak, I didn't want to give Adrien that same control again, but hearing the truth made it even harder to stay away. I knew what it meant to leave him, yet somehow I couldn't come to terms with spending the remainder of my life without him. It wasn't an easy choice, nothing about us was ever easy, but staying away when part of me still felt connected to him. . . it hurt more than anything. And maybe that was the issue. I was always looking to blame him for our mistakes, when in truth I had been partly to blame for the whole thing. Leaving the way I did was childish and I understood it at the time, but I still did it. What we needed was something we'd been lacking for years - communication. We were so afraid to disappoint each other that we'd stay quiet through everything. We'd silence our thoughts because we were too scared to hurt each other, and in the end we'd resent each other for it. What we needed to do was lay everything out. That was the only way to fix this, because honestly. . . I didn't want to leave. . .

I was just too scared to stay.

My ringtone startled me suddenly. It buzzed in my purse and I quickly reached in to answer. There were so many things going on at work. So many preparations and appointments that needed to be made. Which is why I expected Sarah as the only person to reach me at this late hour. So you could imagine my surprise when I found that the caller was none other than Alya instead. It should have been a simple call, but even before I picked up the phone I got this eerie feeling in my gut. . .

Like something bigger was approaching.

"Alya?"

"Marinette you have to get down here, pronto!" She said frantically.

"What's going on?" I asked, getting back up to dust myself off.

"It's adri-No, Chat noir! He's gone beserk!"

"What?" It had been years since I'd heard anything about my former partner. He hadn't suited up in so long, and hearing that it was during a moment of panic sent shivers all over my body.

"It's all over the news, and I'm missing all the action-"

"Alya!" I cut her off.

"Sorry, force of habit. But you have to stop him. He's gone totally AWOL!"

"How do you expect me to-"

"You're the only one who can talk some sense into him!" She paused to breathe, as if she'd been running this whole time, "Nino called and said he went off the rails after disappearing in the rain. Now he's going around the city attacking anyone in his way-"

"That can't be. . . Chat would never-"

"Look, I know ladybug's gone but you have to do something! He was your fiancé once too, you have to help-"

The phone suddenly cut off. A soft beep replaced the other line before everything fell silent again. I didn't know what to say or do. How to react. What plan to devise. I felt like I'd gone right back to the beginning. Back to our first mission, when I was too scared and confused to do anything on my own. Back when Chat was there to have my back. He took the falls for me. He fought everyone off to give me the time and courage to face my fears. He was my hero.

He was the _real_ hero.

"What's going on?" Tikki zoomed in to ask.

"It's Adrien. . ." I stopped, it was hard enough fighting back the urge to cry. But the quivering in my voice was impossible to hide from her. "No it's me. I hurt him and now he's. . ." It hit me so hard. The tears started falling uncontrollably on their own. I wanted to curse myself for even letting them slip, but it was pointless. They wouldn't stop falling and I didn't have the strength to hold them back. . .

"Oh Marinette. . ."

"You were right tikki." I breathed out, "It's time I stop blaming the world and take responsibility for my own mistakes."

"So what's your decision?" She finally asked. And after a few seconds of steady breathing, I was able to think rationally again without anymore tears. I knew what I had to do and hiding in an attic wouldn't do anyone any good. I had to go back. Back to the beginning. I had to remind myself and Adrien of the people we were before things went bad. If we had realized it _then_ , we might have stood a chance at a long life together, but by realizing it _now_ it proved that there was still a chance for us to change things. . .

For both our sakes.

"I don't know if I can go back to the way I used to be, but Paris needs us right now."

"Does that mean?"

"For old times sake." I smiled at the tiny kwami who hovered over my palm. This was it. This was my final decision. Be it right or wrong, whether I'd regret it later or not, that didn't matter. I couldn't abandon him now. I couldn't leave my partner in his time of need. Not after all that he'd done for me in the past. I wasn't going to walk away this time or leave him like I did before. This time I was going to fix things. I was going to save him.

I was going to save _us_.

 **"Tikki, Spots on!"**

* * *

 **Anyone who still reads this story, I think you've waited long enough. I didn't get to proofread any of this soooo... sorry for all the mistakes. I'll edit everything eventually... For now, lets wait patiently to see what happens in... Chapter 14? 15? I forgot what number we're on...**

 **Till Next Chapter~**

 **PS: Go ahead and check out my new ML Fic GAME ON. It hasn't been updated in a while, but I'm working on it with MORE DRAMA, MORE ROMANCE, AND MORE FEELS~ Hopefully?**

 **-Clover**


	15. Chapter 14: The Chase

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x** **Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **"Gravity"**

 ** _(Againt the Current)_**

 ** _Do you remember feeling invincible?_**  
 ** _When there was trouble it was us against the world_**  
 ** _We kept running, running through the night_**  
 ** _Chasing the sun 'til anything felt right_**

 ** _Can you save me now?_**  
 ** _I get lost up in the clouds_**  
 ** _Can you save me now?_**  
 ** _You were my gravity_**  
 ** _Can you save me now?_**  
 ** _When the ground drops out I get lost in the clouds_**  
 ** _Save me now_**  
 ** _You were my gravity_**  
 ** _Now my world is shattering_**

 ** _Ooooh, you were my gravity_**

* * *

 **Chapter 14: The Chase**

 **(Adrien)**

Power is a wonderful thing. It grants you the world yet it drowns you under heavy burdens. If you treat it like a gift it will help you grow. If you treat it like a curse, you will fall into misery.

It seemed magnificent at first. I was given the opportunity to follow her to the ends of the earth. All thanks to _power_. It was the one thing that kept us connected, bonded, linked for what I hoped to be an eternity... but we were nothing without it. She discovered that in later years and it drove us apart. That's why she walked out. That's why I resented her for it. The fact that we had nothing else in common. Nothing but a power we were simply lucky enough to receive. She could have just as easily fallen for any other fellow with my ring. These powers were what brought us together. Which meant our love was never true to begin with...

Just Luck.

"Why... Chat Noir...?" A muffled voice asked beneath my foot. I pressed it against his throat as he struggled to breathe. Different shades of blue painted his face as seconds faded. The rain had grown heavier by the hour. It almost drowned out the cities panic over the vicious attack of their once precious hero.

Crowds scurried away as victims of my wrath gasped for help. They never saw it coming. Maybe that was the issue. They trusted us - _me_ \- too much. But trust is never an easy thing to give. You can take my word for it. Once you give it away, the only way to get it back is in fragments. And yet the only one I can blame is myself...

Because I drove her to it.

I drove her out, I drove her to hate me, I drove her to throw me away... I did it all. Living in this city was just a repeated reminder of the sins I wrapped her in. I forced my mistakes onto her, hoping I'd have someone to blame. That was wrong. _I_ was wrong. My only option left is to leave her be. She'd gotten her revenge and I deserved it. Now there was only one thing left for me to do. Erase the false image this city's had of me...

And disappear along with it.

"Please. . . let me go. . ." He begged again. The stranger squirming underneath me looked to be only seconds away from passing out. And yet, somehow...

I couldn't find it in me to save him.

"What bad luck you have, stumbling across a black cat at night..." I grimaced, "Unfortunately for you, I don't plan on playing hero anytime soon."

He gripped my ankle and stared at me with blood shot eyes. A little longer and he'd be gone for good. I'd be stripped of my title and forever seen as the person she always thought me to be. Anything to escape this harsh reality. A world where the woman you love...

Could never be yours again.

 **"Chat, stop!"**

I froze. I was triggered by a voice of nostalgia. There had been many screams, many voices, and echoes in the wind, but I tuned them out to cease my irritation. But this was different. It wasn't just any voice or a simple echo... it was hers. And though hate and guilt filled my thoughts with the image of her, I couldn't stop myself from meeting her gaze.

 **"Ladybug!"**

 **"It's Ladybug!"**

 **"She's come back!"**

The soft image of red watched over us from the edge of a roof. And no matter how many times I blinked, she never disappeared. She stood there, hair flowing beautifully against stormy winds, with a glare that burned right through me.

"Ladybug. . ." The name escaped my lips in a moment of admiration. My attention on the stranger below then vanished as he ran off to escape.

"Chat. . ." She muttered, barely audible for my ears to catch. Her upset stare dug into me like a rusty old knife. It stung and burned... but it brought me back. The shock passed and delivered me to the present. I had been swept away by her presence for a short minute, but the reality of the situation had not changed. She wasn't that same girl I'd fallen for all those years ago. She wasn't the best friend I'd trusted my very life to on every mission. She wasn't the same...

And neither was I.

"So you finally decided to come out and play." I spoke out with a wicked grin.

"Abusing your power like this is-"

"What? Against the rules?" I answered, enjoying the tension she so desperately tried to keep between us, "And who's gonna stop me, princess? You and your little toy?"

"Don't test me." She threatened.

"Hate to burst your bubble, but there aren't any akuma's for you to save me from. This was all me. " The faith in her eyes slowly fell as she came to terms with the situation. There was nothing she could do to protect this city. Not from me at least. There was no one here to save her from my wrath. We were stuck in a repeated cycle centered on hurting each other. She struck first and it was my turn to strike back even harder. But there was only one way to do that...

The tower.

I watched it glowing miles away. Just waiting to be torn down. The symbol of our love, the center of our story, that's what it stood for. The laughs, the tales, and the romance we shared - it was all done sitting on that tower. My plan was simple. Destroy it and I'd not only tear down our past, but the pin point of Paris itself. It'd be nothing after that. _We'd_ be nothing. . .

But a record of broken dreams.

"See you on the other side, my lady." I grinned, ready to turn my back on everything we stood for. I was ready to hop off and go down on a chase we'd never return from. I was. . .

Until her voice pulled me back in again.

"Feel free to rescue me whenever you want. . ." She paused, waiting for my attention. When it was given I noticed the tint of agony in her eyes. The guilt and hate. The same baggage I thought I'd been carrying on my own all this time... "That's the message you left. So that's what I'm gonna do."

A light chuckle escaped my lips, "That was three years ago."

"I can still save-"

"It's too late now!" My screams caught us both off guard. The last time I yelled at her she vanished without a word, and I was only partly aware of my actions that night. This time was different. I was sober and had no excuse to make up for it. She knew that. But still, the fear in her eyes subsided to take hold of her bravery. She wasn't ready to give up this fight. But I was too tired to keep this going.

"This isn't you, Chat."

"You're right, it's not." I corrected her, "I can be whoever I want now. I don't have to play the good fiancé role anymore. I can be free!"

"Then do that!" She retorted, jumping off the ledge to speak to me on the same level, "Do whatever you want, but don't pretend to be something you're not. I know you... and I know that this isn't you."

"Maybe you're right." I nodded once before turning my eyes away, "Unfortunately what I want can never be mine again. Nor do I even care for it anymore." That last line seemed as if it hurt her just as much as it did me. But I'd grown accustomed to the pain. Down to the point where it was almost numbing. I just had to walk away again...

Just like I did that night.

"Chat-"

"Why are you here!?" I snapped as she attempted to move in again, "Didn't you have enough fun toying with me today? Now you wanna mess with me again!?"

"That's not-"

"Maybe you're the one who needs to stop pretending." I stared into eyes of guilt. She was aware of her actions. She knew what she'd done. Even if she didn't wanna admit it to herself. "Well congratulations you got your revenge! Playing me, throwing me away... making it seem like you still loved me... you're a much better actress than I thought."

She was silent for a moment. She opened her mouth to say something, as if to deny my statement. But she couldn't. She left that hotel with the intention to watch me suffer. She accepted me only to deny my love with the hopes of causing me pain. And all she had left to say was...

"I never wanted to hurt you." More lies shared in whispers. She couldn't even look me in the eyes to say it. She couldn't because it wasn't true.

"Lies." I scoffed, "You're such a liar. You always have been. Promising you'd always love me, that you'd never leave me, or that you'd always belong to-"

"That was a mistake!" She cut in. This time with the eagerness to truly share what was on her mind. "If you want my honesty, I'll admit, I didn't always love you, Chat. Sometimes there were days I couldn't even stand to be around you. _Moments_ where I just wanted you out of my sight. But I never said anything because I _know_ I'm not perfect... but I'm not some puppet you can control either..."

She said it. She really said it. The facts in Nino's statements had been right all along. My paranoia had been correct from the beginning. I had become my father. She had fallen victim to the upbringing I had resented him for all my life. And yet, somehow, I had only myself to blame. I chose to thrive off of the method he stole my youth with... and with it I lost the only precious thing I ever held dearly...

Her love.

"Just go." I muttered one last time, "Because right now, I can't stand the sight of you either."

 _"Chat!"_

Her screams were tuned out through a chase under heavy rain. She wasn't planning on giving up just yet. She was still determined to break me into nothing. Her goal was clear; to keep me feeling empty inside. But if that was the case, I'd much rather do it myself. Tonight would be the last of these fights. Tonight all would come to an end. No more pain, no more heartbreak, no more betrayal...

 **This was Goodbye.**

* * *

 **Quick Note:**

 **Leave a review if you want more. We could always end it here, because I have like 0 motivation with life at this point. I'll make a decision depending on how many people actually still read this.**

 **Feel free to share your thoughts on what you think may or may not happen next. I'm always listening... or reading, I guess.**

 **Enjoy your New years~**

 **-Clover**


	16. Chapter 15: I Forgive You

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x** **Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 **For Blue Skies**

 _ **(Strays Don't Sleep)**_

 _ **I'm under that night**_  
 _ **I'm under those same stars**_  
 _ **We're in a red car**_  
 _ **You asleep at my side**_  
 _ **Going in and out of the headlights**_  
 _ **Could I have saved you?**_  
 _ **Would that've betrayed you?**_  
 _ **I wanna burn this film**_  
 _ **You alone with those pills**_  
 _ **What you couldn't do I will**_  
 _ **I forgive you**_  
 _ **I'll forgive you**_  
 _ **I'll forgive you**_  
 _ **I forgive you**_

 _ **For blue, blue skies**_

* * *

 **Chapter 15: I Forgive You**

 **( Marinette )**

I used to love the rain. As a child, it signified the beginning of a rainbow. It was refreshing, exciting and _nostalgic_. The memory of my first love was met under the showers of a grey sky. An umbrella symbolized the beginning of our story. The beginning of us...

A simple black umbrella.

But that slowly changed with time. The same rain that welcomed our love, followed us to the end. The stormy nights in New York were often difficult after that. It reminded me of a time that should have been eternal... but was lost.

But today was different.

 _This_ rain didn't cause me any pain, but it didn't fill me with the beautiful nostalgia either. No, _this_ rain only brought along a discomforting feeling of worry and fear. It was a feeling similar to panic, but heavier. I was scared for _myself,_ I was scared for _his_ safety, and I was scared of the outcome. The _unknown_. That's what terrified me the most. And that feeling never left me. It weighed heavily over my heart during the time I spent searching through empty streets.

I used to love the rain. I used to cry with it as well. But today...

It _terrified_ me.

 **"Lucky Charm!"**

A flash of _red_ blinded me for an instant. Seconds later I was met with a simple tree branch in my hands. I had prayed for an item that would lead me to him. But instead I was given a _stick_. It infuriated me at first. I hadn't worn the suit in years, so I assumed I was out of touch with it's magic. I didn't know what to do...

Until I saw him.

A flash of _green_ and flowing strands of yellow stood at the top of a tower. Our tower. His plans were then obvious to me. He was going to burn the memories of our past. Not by hurting me, but by detaching himself from our secret getaway...

He was trying to leave me behind.

"Don't move!" He yelled with a hand only an inch away from destruction. He flung his staff the moment my feet touched the tower. My attempt at sneaking up behind him failed in only a few short seconds. His hand flicked with the ash of his cataclysm. I had only one chance to save him. _One_ chance to win. But if that failed...

It meant the end.

"One more step and I'll destroy the whole thing with us on it."

"You wouldn't-"

" _Try_ me."

A stare off was set instantly. Friends, partners, lovers - whichever way you looked at it, sadness still followed. The city laid below us, no doubt watching quietly as it's two heroes stood off to face in their final battle. The tower wasn't the same anymore. We had damaged that by bringing in our baggage. Those memories of laughter and smiles were replaced with the glum atmosphere that hung between us.

There was nothing left for us now.

"You'd sacrifice your own life for something _this_ stupid-"

"This isn't stupid!" He snarled, "But I don't expect you to understand. It's not like any of this ever mattered to you. . ."

I winced at the memories of our youth. He belittled the suffering I'd gone through without even hesitating. Despite _all_ the effort I'd put in throughout those years, despite the flames of pain he sparked first, he still had the audacity to _blame_ me...

As if _I_ were the only one at fault.

He turned his back to me. Like dirt, or trash left on the street, as if I were beneath him now. And that set me off. I set the branch on the ground beside me, and pulled out the yoyo from my waist. This was never about Paris. He didn't attack the city with the intention to destroy what once made us so great. What he really wanted was to take his revenge on the person who ruined it for him.

He just didn't have the courage to do it.

I flung the little sphere in his direction and watched as it swooped around his arm. There wasn't even enough time for him to react. Once he was latched I yanked him forward and brought his terrifying power of destruction close to my chest. _Inches_ away, but it never touched me. He was too scared to do it, to give in, or give up. He couldn't risk it...

Because he was still wallowing in his own guilt.

"Do it." I demanded, grabbing onto his other arm so that he couldn't escape. I wanted him to end it. I wanted him to use his power to end _me_. That was the only solution. I didn't belong out there. I couldn't belong _here_. There was nothing left for me. Nothing but this...

 **"Kill me."**

"You're insane." He pulled back with a wide gaze that softened in concern.

"This is what you really want gone, isn't it?" I shook him once and tightened my grip. I couldn't let him run away, not when it meant falling right back into a never-ending chase. "It's not Paris you want gone, it's me. So destroy me. Now's your chance."

"Stop messing around or I really will-"

"Then do it!" I screamed in his face. But only silence followed. His emotions were wiped clean and replaced with a shocked expression. He didn't know what to do. He was confused, scared, lost... but you could only read that in his eyes.

I tugged at his arm one last time, trying to give him that final chance at revenge. But he refused to give in and turned his eyes away from me. Like a child too scared to face reality. So, instead, I took advantage of the open opportunity and grabbed the branch by my feet. I placed the stick in his hand and watched as it drained his power. The colors changed and morphed into ash, and as each piece fell the danger subsided. Paris was saved...

But Adrien was not.

"Let go of me!" He pushed me away after yanking the yoyo from my hand. I stumbled backwards a few paces before catching myself. But by then he had already thrown the item off the tower. I watched as I lost it to the rain in a haze. Then there was nothing. For a second, my hope wavered, my courage lessened, and I felt almost defeated.

 _Almost_.

But I couldn't back down just yet. Even though I had no weapon, and I was somewhat afraid of the stranger in front of me, I knew running wasn't an option. I had to stay. I had to save him. If not, there was no moving forward. Not if I failed him again.

"Chat, you're not thinking clear-"

"JUST GO!" He shouted with flaring eyes, "Go home Marinette. Go back to your parents, go back to New York, go wherever you want. Just stay away from me!"

It hurt. It was like the break up all over again. Except this time we weren't even together. But that might've been the type of person he'd always been. The type to push away those he loved out of fear that they'd someday leave him instead. He felt neglected the first time, and maybe that's why he chose to hurt me that night. But this time felt different. He wasn't just pushing me away because he was scared I'd run off. He was pushing me away because I already tried to once... then twice...

That's why it was so severe.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't you get it? I don't want you here!" He stepped forward, staring me down, trying to intimidate me. "There's nothing left for you here." He muttered harshly before brushing past me to the edge of the tower. He sat down on the ledge, letting the rain soak his entire frame.

"So what? You expect me to just leave you like this?"

"Why not?" He shrugged, faced the sky, and rested his body on the floor, "You've done it before..."

"Adrien-"

"You were right to leave." He laughed, shutting his eyes as lightning began to flash in the sky. "I'm not a good guy. I don't think I ever was. You shouldn't waste any more of your time on me."

"I didn't. . ." My words fell into nothing as I struggled to compile a sentence.

"I give up, okay?" He looked back, "I won't hurt anyone, I swear. Just leave me alone. . ."

"But I-"

"Please!" He pleaded desperately with a deep pain that reflected in his eyes, "If you show me anymore pity it'll only hurt even more..."

There was no arguing with him. Words were pointless, because I knew he'd never listen. He'd given up. He was ready to move on. The only one who was still lingering in the past...

Was me.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered when I turned away to leave. I was ready to walk off before my ears caught his unexpected apology. And like always, it sucked me right back in again... "I know it must have been hard on you. If I'd known how you really felt back then, I never would have forced you to waste all those years on me. I'm sorry..."

My body twitched in anger. Stay or leave, it was pointless either way. His only method to move on was to accept himself as the pinpoint of my misery. But that wasn't true at all. He just never got it. He never tried to focus on the obvious. He was too busy drowning in his own thoughts to pay any attention to mine. So, I grabbed the staff that had rolled off to the other edge, and with the anger boiling inside me, I threw it in his direction. I wasn't afraid anymore, not of him or the outcome, and when it bounced off his head, I took the only chance I had left...

To save us both.

"HEY!" He hissed in pain.

"You're such an Idiot!" I screamed. The echo of it waved throughout all of Paris. It strained my voice and silenced him with the tears that followed. I couldn't stop it. Everything else just poured out of me... just like the rain. There was no holding back at that point. "You never listen to me! You're always thinking things on your own!"

"I'm agreeing with you!" He got up, suddenly concerned.

"It wasn't a waste, moron!" I hiccupped.

"You said-"

"Just listen!" I cut in, "Yes, there were days I couldn't _stand_ you. Days I didn't want to be _with_ you but... but there were _so_ many more days I couldn't stand to be away from you! That's why I stayed. That's why I never spoke up because... I didn't want to ruin what we had..."

There was a heavy silence that surfaced. All he did was stare at me. Silently. Watching me with an expression I didn't recognize. Concern, worry, guilt, all of it warped him on the outside. But I lost his gaze to strands of hair that blocked his eyes when they shifted to the floor. His body was shaking, and his fists were clenched tightly. As if he'd suddenly gone in to battle against his _own_ thoughts...

"This isn't healthy, Marinette..." He muttered quietly, never looking up at me, "Look at us, look what we've become. We're both sick."

"I'm okay with that..." I said. He searched for my eyes again. "I can't promise I'll always be there with you, Adrien. I might not even be in this life with you one day, but you. . . you'll always have my heart." I admitted softly. I wasn't sure he'd heard it at first, not with the volume of the rain overlapping my voice. But then he took a step forward. Then two. Then, suddenly, I found myself in the familiar embrace of my first love. My only love.

Adrien Agreste.

"Marinette. . ." He whispered my name. He'd said it so many times, but in that moment, it felt like a soothing melody tickling my ears. It was happening again. We were falling right back to the beginning. A perfect moment, really, but...

I wanted a change.

"But, I can't belong to you." I pulled back slightly, resting my forehead against his, "I'm saying that now because I don't want you to assume that it's okay to try and own me, because it's not. If I want to see the world, go to places where you might not be, then I'll go. That's something you have to get used to..." My heart began to race again. I was scared of his reaction, just like before. I was scared of what he'd say, if his approval was really impossible if it meant leaving his side. But things weren't the same anymore. I wasn't the same. I wanted to move forward. I wanted to be my _own_ person. I just needed his trust. He needed to believe that no matter what happened or wherever I'd go...

I'd always come right back.

"I understand. . ." He nodded, brushing his fingers against my wrist, "I never wanted to control you, Mari. I just-"

"Shhh..." I hushed before interlocking our fingers, "I get it." My heart pounded in my chest. It was right again. Life was right again. We fell right back to where we were suppose to be... a _fantasy_. But like all fantasies...

They never last long.

A flash of lightning fell from the sky again. The tower glowed bright for a second, but with it, fear pushed me off the edge. The world lit up for a moment. Then it faded. All thanks to a slippery edge...

All because of the _rain_.

Maybe it was a sign? God's way of telling us we just weren't meant to be. All I know is that I was falling. Forced to leave his side, again, without a choice. Reminding me that he had been but a downfall to my career, holding me back from my true potential.

Like a drug to an addict.

An addict who had been 3 years sober. If I accepted him back, I'd be risking my future. But there was no joy with him gone. No purpose. And when I found myself dangling over the tower, with just his hand connecting me to life, my choice was clear. He had dived in to save me, and with it risked everything else. And that's all it had ever really been about, honestly. Taking risk after risk, just for this. Just for each other. That's why I was _so_ sure this time around. Damaged or not, that didn't matter, because my future was _nothing_...

Without Adrien Agreste.

"I got you!" He yelled, hanging on the slippery ledge with only one hand. I was useless without my yoyo and he had no access to his staff. There was no escaping _this_ outcome...

 _This_ was our end.

"Adrien..." Tears filled my eyes when I caught his smiling face. His hand was slipping. Time was not on our side. Our legend, our history, our story... would surely fade away in seconds. There was no changing that now.

"You can't hold us both..."

"Mari, look at me." He shook my arm, waiting for my attention, "Keep your eyes on me, okay?"

A smile pulled on my face. This was but a distraction. A distraction for what was waiting ahead. A way to drown out the fear... and I didn't argue. I just stared and nodded. "Okay."

Thunder roared. Lightning striked. He was shaking. Out of fear, cold, exhaustion - who knows - But he kept on smiling. Whenever our eyes met in those few seconds, he smiled.

"Do you..." He tried to speak, "Do you remember what you said... when I gave you... my mothers ring?"

"What?"

"About death? And bravery?" His words triggered the memories of our youth. Those minutes in the past. They seemed more like a long lost dream. A dream suddenly far more precious to me in that moment...

 **. . .**

 _"How many minutes do think it'd take to hit the floor from here?" He asked with his head over the ledge. Just like a cat filled with curiosity. It was almost humorous._

 _"I doubt it'd take minutes. Seconds seems a lot more accurate." I answered._

 _"Even from up here?" He looked back in awe._

 _"Why? You scared to face death now?" I teased, tapping his leg with my foot._

 _"Just a thought." He shrugged before scooting back to sit beside me._

 _"That's depressing. What exactly goes on in that little head of yours?" I asked._

 _"Not much, mostly you." He nudged, wiggling his eyebrows. "I was just thinking about something Nino said."_

 _"What'd he say?"_

 _"He said if a person falls off a building facing the sky, it means they're too scared to face death. But if they face forward-"_

 _"That makes them brave?"_

 _"It just got me thinking..." He added._

 _"What? You plan on facing the ground when you plumit to your death?"_

 _"I don't know. I couldn't really come up with a good answer." He shrugged, "I'd rather just face you when it's my time to go." He admitted coolly, as if it were a natural thing to say._

 _"Well it's not like we can fall off a building together. Facing death is something we gotta do alone."_

 _"Maybe." He muttered after._

 _"Well I'm not afraid." I admitted proudly, standing up on both feet to face the streets below. "I'd face death head on if I had to."_

 _"Don't even joke like that." He warned after flicking my knee. "You'll jinx yourself."_

 _"Says the black cat." I teased._

 _"Well you're not dying on my watch." He said after following me back up on his feet. "I promised your parents I'd always protect you. I'm not gonna go back on my word."_

 _"You also promised you'd marry me, and you still haven't even gotten me a ring." I complained after waving my left hand in his face. Not that it really mattered to me though. It wasn't a serious issue. Ring or no ring, that never defined where we stood as a couple. Our love had no limits, no secrets, or boundaries. And that was enough for me. But when he pulled one out in front of me, I was speechless._

 _It wasn't the diamond or the design that stood out to me. It was more about the meaning behind it all that made it so special. It was a ring he'd shown me so many times in photos. One he'd always cherished. One I never expected to **see** at the receiving end..._

 _Because it was his mother's ring._

 _"Like I said, I never go back on my word."_

 _ **. . .**_

"I promised I'd keep you safe..." A sudden fear hit my core. Something was coming. Something I knew would hurt us both. I could see it in his eyes. The never ending field of green that stared back at me wasn't the same...

It was fading.

"No... Adri-"

Before I could even protest, we were falling again. His arms held me in a warm embrace that I knew would soon flush cold. I was staring at the tip of the tower, watching the sky, slowly growing further away... then it changed. Our positions were different. He flipped me over and placed himself beneath me. He fought to take the fall with the idea that it would spare me less damage. I cried and screamed, but he never let go. We were dropping and there was no stopping it. The impact was coming. And when I caught a glimpse of his sweet smile, I gave in. I placed my arms around his head and prayed that he'd be spared as well. That a world where the two of us could live existed here...

Then everything blurred.

The world slowly moved in warped colors. A loud ringing in my ear made it difficult for me to focus. But I was still breathing. The air was still the same. There was a sharp pain that shot throughout my body, but I was still conscious. And when I got a better grip on life, I was still me. I was still here...

 **But there was no response from the body beneath me.**

* * *

 **Let's get to 500 reviews for the next chapter.**


	17. Chapter 16: We'll Meet Again

**Disclaimer: Miraculous Ladybug. I do not own the characters in the show - simply, just this story.**

 **Paring: LadyNoir ( Marinette x** **Adrien)**

 **Rated (M): for Mature content.**

 _ **VA's (Voice Actors) READ IMPORTANT MESSAGE AT THE END.**_

 **"** **Follow You** **"**

 **(** **Au5** **)**

 _ **Breathe me in, into the light**_  
 _ **Slowly heal the darkness in my heart**_

 _ **I hear you now**_  
 _ **A taste was all I needed**_  
 _ **I feel your love loud and clear**_  
 _ **To the end**_

 _ **It's you and me, I'll follow you to the end**_  
 _ **I'll follow you to the end**_  
 _ **To the end**_

* * *

 **Chapter 16: We'll Meet Again**

 **( Adrien )**

There was nothing at first. It was dark. It was cold... but then there was light. I was swallowed into black for a moment. But then I was welcomed into a world of white. I was aware, yet at the same time, I wasn't. I wasn't me anymore. I wasn't even sure at first, who _me_ even was... I was just _there_. Existing in emptiness.

Then I was awake.

"Where am I...?" I asked into the empty space of my surroundings. I had no memory of where I'd been, how I'd gotten here, or where _here_ even was... I was just there. No memories. No nothing. Just lost, confused, and...

Alone.

"They call it... The Void." A voice echoed around me. It bounced from above, below, and every inch of nothing. But there was no one.

"How..."

"Let's not focus so much on the _how's_ and _where's_ , and instead, focus solely on the _why's,_ hmm?" _It_ responded. But I had no idea what _it_ was, why _it_ was there, and what _it_ wanted. But I recognized their voice from a time long ago. As if, somehow, we'd met before...

 _Somewhere_ in time.

"Why... why am I here?" I tried to ask as I ventured further into emptiness, but there was something pulling me forward. Something telling me that if I kept moving forward everything would be resolved. And it was that same force that tried to convince me to move on. It told me that was the only way I could erase my confusion and be at peace... yet, _it's_ voice kept trying to distract me. As if the idea of leaving was the wrong thing to do...

Even if it felt right.

"Why do you believe you're here?" _It_ asked. I stopped. My feet froze for a second and I found myself staring at a glow in the distance. It was the gateway to paradise. But there was a part of me that wanted to turn back. I didn't understand the reasons why. but it felt like there was something over there that wasn't _here. Something_ that was missing...

 _Someone_ I needed to see.

"I don't know... I can't remember anythi-"

"Try." It demanded.

My memories were a blur, and the glow watching me from up ahead made it difficult to concentrate. It fogged my thoughts and made it impossible to focus on anything else. Like a wall, it was blocking me from remembering. It was sedating me, healing me, and trying to repair some kind of damage. The glow whispered that moving ahead would erase all past worries and pain... but it also meant moving on with nothing. I had no clue what it was trying to protect me from, or why it wanted me to escape, but it didn't want me to remember. And even though I thought it's actions were soothing and kind, my curiosity begged me to turn around.

So, I shut my eyes and escaped the path it guided me toward. Painful or not, I couldn't leave with nothing. Even if it meant regretting it in the end. I had to see what I was leaving behind before disappearing completely. Even if it was terrifying at first, even if I was scared, I had to face it.

I had to face _myself_.

"Remember..." I whispered to myself, pressing through shattered pieces of memories that floated within me. There were so many details, and so many pieces, that it felt impossible to put together. "I can't... it's too much-"

"Focus on one thing," _It_ said, "Hold onto that and everything else will eventually fall into place."

"One thing." I repeated. I shut my eyes and tried to do as he said... but there were so many people, so many places, so many moments... And then I saw it. She existed in so many of them. She came in flashes of red and blue, and it was almost impossible to focus on just _one_ \- but eventually, it all sunk in. Most of it did anyway. A girl with eyes that shimmered like heaven. Those eyes that used to pierce right through me in a way that felt like she could _see_ into my very soul, or _read_ my every thought. A pair of eyes I once yearned to stare into for an eternity of bliss...

"Marinette..."

"Do you remember?" It asked. I nodded halfway.

I remembered a girl. A girl that existed in my dreams. She was the pinpoint of my happiness, she was life itself, and she was there for me once... but she wasn't _here_. She was gone. She didn't exist in this space...

"She's waiting for me..." I stared at the darkness I had entered through. There was nothing there, but it was the only way out. Moving on ahead meant leaving her behind for good. I had to go back, I had to see her again, somehow. "I have to go b-"

"How do you intend to do that now?" The voice asked.

"Can't you show me?" I circled around, trying to find the source.

"Perhaps, but first, answer me this..." He paused, "If you really wanted to be _there_ , why are you _here_?"

It threw me off at first. I couldn't respond to the question properly. I remembered a girl. That was it. I remembered a time where peace existed within an everlasting bliss. How I left that behind, or how I ended up in a realm of nothing, were questions I myself wanted answers to. I couldn't remember everything. I could only remember her. The figure of sheer perfection.

"Why are _you_?" I asked him instead. He chuckled at first.

"To guide you, of course."

"Then guide me to her!" I snapped. There was a silence. A long, quiet, moment passed. Then a light flashed before me. And there she was...

"You mean _her_?"

A visual of her face appeared in the center of nothing. Her smiling face glowed as she laughed with a friend in class. She was at peace, enjoying her youth. But I couldn't make sense of the timing. I wasn't sure if I had even stepped foot into her life at that point in time. However, the next scene, took place at a time I knew existed only after our separation...

And it _broke_ my heart.

"Marinette _please_!" Begged the same friend she'd been laughing with moments ago. She attempted several times to stop the chaos, but there was no stopping it. Books were thrown across the room, mirrors were smashed, chairs were kicked, and all in the rampage of a girl with a _broken_ heart.

"I can't do this!" Marinette cried, "I don't wanna do this anymore, Alya!"

"Just talk to me!"

"It's all my fault!" She collapsed. She gave up and slunk into the corner of the room, burying her face in blood stained hands. The beautiful life she once carried in those blue-bell eyes were completely drained. There was nothing left but an emptiness that reflected and shined behind never-ending tears.

"It's okay..." Alya walked over carefully. She slid to the floor and tried her best to scoop up the weeping girl in her arms. But the pain was contagious, and strong, and soon enough, they were _both_ wiping away tears in their eyes.

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you." Alya whispered back.

"Yes there is..." Marinette's voice shook whenever she tried to speak. It was painful to watch. Despite the lack of understanding I had on the situation, it didn't make it any less easier. "They're all gone because of me..."

"Tikki _will_ come back, okay?"

"She's not coming back..."

"You don't know that-"

"Yes I do!" She snapped, "Why would she?" There was a long pause between them, as Marinette stared at her friend with a hopelessness that overcame them both. And then, giving into defeat, she bowed her head and whispered three little words I had never expected to hear...

 ** _"He_ never did."**

Those three words tore me into two. The partner she trusted, the fiancé she loved, or the best friend she depended on, weren't there or _anywhere_ close by to comfort her... because they walked out on her. They betrayed her trust, and then, left her behind to suffer alone. I broke my promise to her... and in the process...

I broke _her_.

"We all make mistakes," The voice paused as I watched her unseen moments unfold with tears in my eyes. I never gave any thought as to how she had managed on her own without me. I assumed I had been the _only_ one suffering the entire time. But, as usual, I was wrong about that too... "Some can never be fixed. Others manage with few repairs. But most are left... _shattered_."

"Wait..." I begged as the images of our past faded into white. She was vanishing all over again. I was alone and she was gone, "Bring her back, please! I'll do anything! Just let me see her ag-"

My pleads were silenced. The sudden change of our surroundings caught me off guard. What was once white, _now_ , appeared as a hallway. Lockers trailed down from each side, there was an open exit at the very end, and a clock that kept ticking away silently. As if everything that had happened moments ago, had been nothing but a hallucination, a dream, or delusions due to paranoia...

"I remember this..." My thoughts escaped my lips after I spotted the date on a bulletin board. It showed the weeks on a calendar that marked up to this very day. The day she once told me sparked the beginning of our love, and thus, created our future.

"I should hope so..." Said the voice without a face, "Now's your only chance."

"Chance?" I asked, "For what? Why are you-"

"I'm giving you a second chance," He began, "Undo what's been done today, _succeed_ , then history will change itself by tomorrow."

"What?"

"One little change is all it takes to save yourselves from a lifetime of heartbreak." _It_ tried to explain, but none of it made sense at first. Nothing _it_ ever said made sense, but... eventually it all clicked. The roaring sound of rain, and the simple black umbrella in my hand, reminded me of that _one, specific,_ moment I had begged to go back to. This was the day I'd been yearning to change ever since our separation. This was my only chance to end our story...

Before it could even begin.

"We all get lost sometimes..." _It_ whispered in my ear, "We might stumble and fall. It might even feel impossible to find the right path again. But when that happens, it's always best to return to the beginning if we intend to seek out a new end."

"I understand..." I nodded, moved on ahead and prepared myself for the finale. This would be it. This would no longer be the start of our tale...

Just the end of everything.

I walked to the front entrance. The shimmer of her dark strands of blue enticed me the closer I got. She stood by the door, holding her pink bag in both hands, and waited for the rain to stop. I tried to quietly leave without paying any attention to her, but once my foot stepped outside, I couldn't help but stare.

She was so young and innocent, and her beauty was just as great as I remembered. But it didn't matter her age, young or old, she was timeless to me. I was sucked in by an accidental glance, and when her eyes caught mine, it suddenly became impossible to simply leave without so much as a word...

"Hi..." That's all I managed out before she shunned me away. It had been so long that I'd forgotten just how annoyed she was with me when we first met. But, fortunately, that worked to my advantage. If I kept quiet about the incident, ignored her the same way, and left things as they were - she'd never get attached. Not to Adrien, or Chat Noir, none of that. She'd be happy, she'd be free, and she could start a new life. All I had to do was walk away. I had to...

Because this was my only chance to _save_ her.

I flipped open my umbrella and moved on ahead without her. I didn't try to explain myself. I didn't try to apologize or fix the misunderstanding. I just walked away. That's all I could do. She had given up so much for my sake, sacrificed herself to abide to my selfish demands, and given into _my_ control... she'd done enough. Now, it was my turn to give back.

"Goodbye, Marinette."

Our final farewell drowned under the rain. There was no going back at that point, and when I took my first step down those stairs, I knew that would be our end. The memories of our past flashed before me, and were shredded into nothing. They were fading away with each step I took away from her. The heaviness was lifting, and I knew the guilt that hung in my heart would erase if I kept moving forward. So that's what I did. I stepped into the car that waited for me in the rain without any regret. There was no need for those anymore, because I knew...

That those _too_ would surely disappear.

"One little change is all it takes..." _It's_ voice reminded me again, despite the urge that arose when I watched her fade in the distance. The vehicle was moving forward. There was no turning back. And all I saw was but a reflection of my future. My father's assistant at my side, a body guard watching my every move, and the absence of a love that would never exist again...

But this was for the better. I couldn't let my selfish greed corrupt her all over again, even if it cost me my _own_ happiness. I couldn't take her down with me a second time. Not when I had the chance to save her from it. She could start a new. She could fall in love this time with someone worthy. Someone like Nathaneal, someone willing enough to care for her throughout all her years. He could support her properly, he could keep her grounded, and be exactly what she needed...

Someone better than _me_.

"I love you..." The memories of her were still so vivid in my mind. They were fading, but I could still hear her whispering in my ear. I could see her in my head if I just closed my eyes. Just for a while. Just for now, I wanted to relive those moments again in my thoughts...

Before it all disappeared.

"I love you, Adrien." She smiled next to me in the comfort of our bed. There, in the home that we bought for ourselves, everything was perfect. It was so simple at first. Easier. Happier... before it all fell apart.

"Forever?" I asked as I held her in my arms. She laughed, of course. She had said it so many times, it must have been silly to hear me even ask. But I was always insecure, whether she realized it or not. I was always afraid she'd leave me behind for something, or someone, greater. I was afraid she'd one day figure out that behind this huge façade, there was _nothing_ perfect about me. I think that's how the corruption started. The less time we spent together, the bigger my insecurities grew. It had never been her fault...

I just never had any faith in _myself_.

"Beyond Forever. In this life and the next..." She whispered in my ear. My heart raced again. That's probably what I loved the most about her. That no matter how low I felt, how insecure or unconfident I became - she always wiped that away with her words.

 **"I'll love you always."**

"I can't do it..."

"What was that?" Natalie gave me a quick glance from the other seat. The car came to a stop at a red light. The gorilla was focused on the road, Natalie was busy working out emails on her phone, and I was stuck with another option. Stay still, move forward, and save the _only_ girl I ever loved from an enormous amount of pain... _or_ , turn back and let greed win again...

I chose Plan B.

Maybe it was in my genes? Maybe greed was just in my DNA? Whatever the case, walking away didn't feel like a _real_ option. You can't undo your past. You can't run away from your problems by avoiding them either. I didn't like the person I _became_ after hurting Marinette, but honestly, I was more afraid of the person I would have _become_...

If she hadn't been there to save me.

"I'll be right back!" I unbuckled my seatbelt, grabbed the umbrella, and raced out of the car before anyone could say or do anything to stop me.

I had to see her. I had to go back. I didn't want to lose anything else. I didn't wanna throw away those memories, even if it cost her a chance at a perfect life - because I didn't want her to forget. It didn't matter if she hated me, could never forgive me, or loathed my very existence. I still wanted her to remember. I wanted her to understand, that even in the end, when all things failed - my love never changed. It never wavered. She had always been it for me, and when I saw her there, still standing alone by the front of the school, I realized just how wrong I had been. It didn't matter if I chose to walk away or not, nothing I could have ever said or done would have ever changed us, or our fate...

Because I would have fallen for her either way.

"Marinette!" I screamed her name as I raced up the steps.

"Wha-" She jumped and stepped back a few spaces, "didn't you just-"

"Please take this!" I huffed with my umbrella extended out to her. My lungs were burning. My throat was on fire. My legs were weak. But for some reason, all of my energy was restored when I saw her face. She'd always been the type to be so easily flustered, and it was always amusing to see that side of her. "I have a spare in my car."

"N-No thanks..." She shook her head, "I'd rather just wait till the rain st-"

"I meant what I said earlier!" I cut her off and swallowed my fear, "I really was trying to get that piece of gum off your chair. I had nothing to do with it, I swear. It was all just a big misunderstanding..."

She was speechless. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing ever came out. All she did was stare. Her eyes flickered from mine to the umbrella in my hand. She was hesitant, but the anger in her eyes had somewhat subsided. She was willing to listen to me this time, just like the first time, she was willing enough to hear me out.

"I've never been to school. Never had any friends. All of this is still kinda new to me, but..." There was a pause that hung for a long moment. I was still scared of the outcome. The inevitable ending that would destroy us both. But even so, I loved her. I couldn't deny that. "I really hope you can give me another chance."

I really did. More than anything. I could never be that confident, perfect, guy she always fantasized about, and I'd always have my flaws, but if I was given the chance to see her again, I prayed we could start anew. I just needed one last chance. One chance to fix things for us. Not by erasing our past...

But by earning her trust.

"I-uh... s-sure." A faint blush painted her cheeks as I handed her my umbrella. Words weren't needed after that. I simply stared into heavenly blue eyes that never turned away. It was just like before. Just like the first time. However, she didn't seem as nervous as I remembered. In fact, she seemed a lot more relaxed when she smiled. Almost as if, she could read our whole story through my eyes. As if she were telling me, hope was still alive...

For the both of us.

Then she was gone. She, along with the rest of the world, faded back into white. And I was left alone again, knowing I had failed the one task that would have benefited her greatly. And I did it out of greed, just like the first time.

"You still chose this path?" It asked, plainly.

"If saving our future means altering our past... then it's not worth it." I decided.

"Most men would kill for a chance like this."

"Yeah, well, most men aren't lucky enough to experience a love like mine." I said to the voice coming from above, "Call me selfish or greedy, but I don't wanna forget about any of it."

"So it was all for the memories?"

"Yes... and no. It was more about the lesson."

"The lesson?" It asked, suddenly amused with my answer.

"Hurting Marinette will always be my greatest regret. Letting a woman like that get away... will haunt me forever."

"Then why?"

"Because they were right." I paused for a breath and stared back at the darkness from which I came from, "I am my father. I isolated her the same way, betrayed her trust, and damaged her in the process... but without her, who knows what I would've become. I was less destructive with her by my side back then... because I had _her_ to destroy instead."

"Then why not let her go?"

"Because I needed her!" I snapped, "Without her, without ladybug, I might have abused my power a long time ago..."

"So you're saying she kept you grounded?"

"She kept me in check and on my feet. She was hope to me." I smiled at the thought of her. The precious hero that had guided me through those moments of solitude and emptiness. She was my anchor, and without her, there was no telling what sort of chaos I could've unleashed had she not been there for me. "That's why I can't erase her from my past. I can only save her now."

"You've matured greatly on this journey." The voice said as it appeared in front of me as a glowing orb.

"But it's too late now, isn't it?" I'd been afraid to ask, but the memories were becoming clearer and clearer. How I got here, what had happened to me, it was all starting to come together. I wasn't dreaming, but this wasn't exactly reality. The real world didn't exist here anymore...

Because I no longer existed either.

"Well, life's full of miracles. You'd be surprised just how far humans are willing to go to keep the ones that they love alive. The sacrifices are extraordinary."

"Sacrifices?" I asked, but it didn't respond. The glowing orb flashed brightly and blinded me for a second. I was confused again, and somewhat annoyed with it's unpredictable actions. But it didn't need to explain. It was all there...

Right in front of me.

"You have to fix him!" The screams of my beloved caught my attention. A visual was produced before my eyes, with Marinette again in the scene.

She rested in an ambulance that carried her, along with three Paramedics at her side. Her screams pierced my chest and tore my heart strings into shreds. She was sobbing just like before, except this time, it was different. Her arms had been severely damaged, bruised and stained in her own blood. Yet she was too distracted with _my_ body to even acknowledge her pain. My _resting_ body, still and silent as the paramedics did their best to keep me connected to life.

"Take my blood, my bones, anything - _please_! Just don't let me loose him again!"

"Miss, please. Your arms..." They tried holding her down, but all she did was fight back.

"She'll need a sedative!" One of the paramedics confirmed and signaled to the others to pull out.

"No!" She screamed after kicking a tray, "I won't close my eyes! I have to be with him! I have to-"

"Hold her down!" They ordered. She continued to struggle and cry, but the little use she had in her arms made it impossible to win.

"Please..." She begged, as she made several attempts to sit up and look at me.

"We're doing all we can, Miss-"

"We're losing him!" One of the paramedics yelled. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach. This wasn't like the last time. I wasn't just watching a moment from our lives. I was watching myself die...

Right in front of her.

"Adrien!" Her screams scared everyone. It was painful to watch. I couldn't even recognize her anymore. The Marinette I knew was always smiling. She was always happy about everything. Even when she was upset, even when she returned to Paris, I had never seen her look so...

Afraid.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." She said in-between sobs and hiccups.

"Keep her still!" One of them yelled as they dug the syringe into her arm. It pained me to see her that way. I was just watching, unable to do anything to help her. And yet, somehow, I let it all happen. She was in so much pain, she couldn't even breathe properly...

All because of me.

"I didn't mean it, okay!?" She yelled in my direction, "I lied when I said love wasn't enough! It is! You're more than enough! So please... wake up!"

"Heartbeat's failing, grab the defibrillators!"

"Please forgive me..." She whispered drowsily, trying to fight off the sedative coursing through her veins. It was hard enough watching her suffer alone, let alone ask for forgiveness in a situation I couldn't be responsive in. But as she closed her eyes and whispered her final words, I felt an even greater guilt wrap around my heart...

"You can't... you can't abandon me again..."

"Marinette!" I screamed into a world I could no longer reach her in. She couldn't see, feel or hear me. And when her eyes slowly shut that was it. The images were gone and we were once again stuck in a space of nothing.

"You have to take me back..." I was tired of the games. It was cruel. Showing me things that would only hurt me. Messing with me, as if it were simply out of mockery. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to see her again. I had to go back. "She needs me. I have to fix this!"

"And what do you intend to do when you see her again?" It asked from behind.

"I..."

"If you meet her again, in that vulnerable state, you'll only fall right back to where you started. The cycle _will_ continue."

"It won't." I disagreed.

"But what if she's willing enough? What if she agrees again to the isolation and control-"

"I won't let that happen!"

"Then I'll ask again," _It_ paused, floating in front of me as a glowing orb, "What do you intend to do?"

My options were limited. All in which would greatly benefit her. None, however, would satisfy me in the slightest. But this wasn't about me, and I knew the only answer that would surely guarantee her a happy ending was simple...

"Set her free." I was confident, this time, with my answer. I wasn't afraid of the outcome either, because I knew, for _both_ our sakes, that was the only way for us to _heal_.

"A noble choice indeed. I finally see the selfless boy I've been waiting to meet again all these years."

There wasn't a need to guess anymore. I knew exactly who this person was. A face or name wasn't necessary. He'd been watching over us all along. In the shadows as children and in the heavens as adults.

"Master Fu..." I smiled as his presence disappeared again.

"Go to her." His voice echoed and grew softer the closer he moved toward the light.

"But how!?" I begged for an easy answer, a doorway, a path to reality - anything. But there was none.

"Listen to your heart, boy. If you listen closely, it will guide you to where you're needed most."

That's all he said before stepping through the gateway to paradise. But it wasn't my time yet. There was only one way back, and that was through the darkness. I just needed to listen. And so, I shut my eyes and stepped into the cold, bleakness I had come in through...

Then there were voices. So many voices. There were terrifying ones, pained ones, broken ones - but that wasn't my focus. I searched within me to find an escape. Anything. A sign that would guide me back to her...

And then I felt it.

A warmth. A sweet, beautiful, warm feeling that guided me like the sun. I didn't get _what_ it was at first, I wasn't even sure if it was just another trick or illusion. But then I felt it. Her presence. It was so _warm_ and _captivating_. It guided me through the black and emptiness of nothing, and it got stronger the closer I moved. This was her. This was her heart. I just never realized it before, but, now I understood...

 **That her heart had been with me all along.**

* * *

 _ **Important Message**_

 **Congrats on making it to 500 reviews! Be sure to leave more so that we can make it to 600 for the next chapter. Also be sure to add in the #saveadrien or #lethimdie to decide his fate. Your vote could matter...maybe... possibly... but probably not ㈸9**

 **Moving on, reviews are important as they may be featured on YouTube for the comic dub of this story. And yes, this story is currently being created as a (PG) comic by the amazingly talented Marie Jane. Follow her on Instagram at MarieJaneWorks to get some sneak peeks along with a bunch of other stellar creations. Try donating to her as well if possible. Subscribe to Jam Jam (JamJam Fandubs) for the video release~**

 **If you're a voice actor (or actress) and you wanna take part in dubbing one of the characters in the story, email me at tokivisionAM at gmail . com or message me through the YT channel. The female roles such as Marinette and Alya are most likely covered, but there are still female roles in need of a voice.**

 **Mainly searching for the perfect Adrien suited for the one in this story though. So if you're a VA, wanna try it out, or know someone that you feel would suit the part - email me or DM me. This is very important, as this will be on YT, so if you wanna help out and see this story come to life - message me. There are a few people I have in mind for each role, but if any of you are interested I'm letting you know beforehand** **❤️**

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 **Thank you for your patience and support ❤️❤️❤️**

 **\- Clover**


	18. Available On Webtoons

~ **Available On Webtoons ~**

This story is now available for readers to read as a digital comic on **Webtoons _dot_ com,** so feel free to check out the story as it is updated every other Friday, by visiting the website.

A special thanks to **Marie Jane** for her incredible talent, bringing this story to life with her art. If you care to show the artist your support through love and/or donations check out her Instagram page **( MarieJaneWorks )** and Website **( MarieJaneWorks _dot_ com ).**

And for those of you that are still unaware, this comic will also be dubbed on youtube in the near future. So if you're someone who wants to take part in this project as either a **_Voice actor, Music_** **_Mixer, Animator, Special Effects Artist, Singer_** or **_Songwriter_** \- please contact me via email at: **tokivisionam _at_ gmail _dot_ com** or through Instagram at **JamJamsWorld**.

This comic will be dubbed only on Youtube under channel name **Jam Jam**. I'm leaving a notice here for anyone who wishes to take part in this comic or knows someone who might be interested in trying out.

I hope that you are able to show your support by subscribing to this story on **Webtoons** along with **Marie Jane Works** and **Jam Jam** on Youtube.

Expect a ton more surprises as you read both versions and don't forget to check out:

 **Look What We've Become** on **Webtoons** now.

 _(First Episode Release Date: January 19)_


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